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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Am i going nuts? Is he better off? Or am i?

42 replies

user1489269570 · 02/12/2018 17:56

I dont know myself anymore.....i need to talk to someone about pretty much everything. With no judging, i can't talk to anyone.

OP posts:
BitchQueen90 · 02/12/2018 18:19

What's happened OK?

BitchQueen90 · 02/12/2018 18:20

OP I meant.

Bimwit · 02/12/2018 18:21

We're listening

RagingWhoreBag · 02/12/2018 18:21

That’s exactly what MN is here for but we will need a bit more info Smile

mobey · 02/12/2018 18:23

Yeah what's happened ?
MNs been many saviour the last few days since leaving my partner it's given me some strength x

Bimwit · 02/12/2018 18:25

MN has seen me through LIFE

Original poster
user1489269570 · 02/12/2018 18:28

I don't know if it is me, or if it is him. Has he got into my head and made me feel mentally unstable. Or is it me? Do i deserve to feel like this? Am i in this situation because of my stupid thoughts and actions...

OP posts:
Bimwit · 02/12/2018 18:30

Give us some specific examples?

ilovekale · 02/12/2018 18:31

What situation?

Jenala · 02/12/2018 18:32

Talking so cryptically isn't going to get you very far

Original poster
user1489269570 · 02/12/2018 18:36

Well let me start off by saying...im 27, with 5 kids, aged 8,5,5,2,4 months old..2 of those kids are his. he is 40 years old and has 2 other kids from a previous marriage. Been together for about 3 years, has been abit on and off. I bet u guys thinking...trash already lol

OP posts:
mobey · 02/12/2018 18:39

Ok we're listening X

mobey · 02/12/2018 18:39

Ok we're listening X

RagingWhoreBag · 02/12/2018 19:22

Nobody on here thinks ‘trash’ when you talk about how many children you have. This is Mumsnet. Flowers

BitchQueen90 · 02/12/2018 19:57

Is he not treating you well?

Original poster
user1489269570 · 02/12/2018 20:21

Its not about how many kids i got its how many dads there is lol. 3 dads in total. The 1 st one i ended up marrying, as my mum and dad wanted me to, just so he was born in wed lock. That lasted not even a year.
2nd one, known him since i was 11.
When i told him about being pregnant he said he doesnt know what he wants anymore, he wanted me to have an abortion,i said no, had twins,never heard from him until they were about 4 months old, he asked to see them, i let him.. story cut short, he hasnt seen them much but now its becoming more regular, every 2 weeks he lives 4 hours away 😃 And then of course u got this recent one of the 2...pretty much at the end of him and me...

OP posts:
Original poster
user1489269570 · 02/12/2018 20:23

I have never felt so mentally unstable.....

OP posts:
Original poster
user1489269570 · 02/12/2018 20:25

I dont know if he doesnt treat me well or its because of my own actions

OP posts:
EtVoilaBrexit · 02/12/2018 20:25

What’s going on with that guy?
Why are you feeling mentally unstable?
(I have alarm bells starting to ring but really you need to say more)

EtVoilaBrexit · 02/12/2018 20:26

Xpost

Someone is NEVER treating you badly because of how you behaved. They always have the choice to behave decently, even if you are awful to them.

gindrinkingmarypoppins · 02/12/2018 20:32

That's still not enough info. There's no judgement here about how many dads. We all make choices in life that sometimes don't end up the way we would expect them to, that doesn't make you trash or a bad person...just human.
Give us some examples of how he 'might' be treating you badly and we can tell you if it sounds like unreasonable behavior, or not. Either way, you have a lot on your plate with those little ones, particularly given that you've not long given birth. Do you have help? Someone else you can talk to?

5fivestar · 02/12/2018 20:42

What actions exactly ?

Original poster
user1489269570 · 02/12/2018 20:48

I suffer with anxiety,with dying, panic attacks, being in groups, thinking something is wrong with me (illness)i lack self esteem in myself before i had any kids so obviously its abit worse now. Have had a few sessions in time to talk, she says i have morbid jealousy, so yeah..maybe my paranoia has played a big part in it. There is lots of stuff on how we started etc, and im sure that probably plays a part in it also.....

OP posts:
5fivestar · 02/12/2018 20:50

You’re going to have to give us the whole story otherwise it’s impossible to say if he’s gas lighting you or if you need more support

Raintreeap · 02/12/2018 20:54

No one is judging you Flowers
Do you have any family support if this relationship ends?

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