My parents are exactly the same if not more extreme op!
They deliberately moved 300 miles away so as not to be available to babysit or do childcare, my dsis had dc before me and prewarned me not to expect any help from them whatsoever.
They prefer to go on cruise ships twice a year and have not been to a single sports' day, school event, have never taken them out for a single day trip and have never had them overnight.
I was in mourning for warm and loving gps for my dc so instead pretend I was "granny" and give them "granny days out'' myself when I would spoil them for the day!
My dps now are a bit upset that my dc don't have much to do with them now they are older, but they are happy to spend their considerable wealth on themselves and aren't planning on giving any of it away to us or their gcs (already made that clear).
Some people look at them and think how marvellous! Others think, wow they have missed out so much.
Neither opinion is wrong and they have their own reasons for being what others might consider selfish and self centred.
But my mother was a resentful 50s/60s housewife on valium who found she hated children once she had them as they had their own minds, wouldn't always listen, didn't care for her mental health struggles as a mother and a wife.
She absolutely loves the freedom from domestic drudgery now all her dc have left home.
Traditional and Asian families are more likely to live up to your dream extended family expectations op.