I left my DH last week after a build up of EA which ended up with me getting a black eye in front of my screaming children.
I had him arrested and was promised it was good for a charge/bail conditions etc.
Long story short, no charges, no bail conditions, he was allowed to return home and I felt I had no choice but to leave with the children (in fact this was the advice of the police)
He had got someone round to barricade the doors so I had to break in with the kids in tow to actually get any stuff out.
He took me straight off the insurance for the family car (it’s in his name) and the police removed the keys for it. So with no vehicle my sister got us.
Been staying at my sisters since. Trying to get a rental is impossible, I have money and can pay, but because I’m a SAHM no one will rent to me, I have Guarantors for the rent but no one will.
So currently we are at my sisters and I’ve had to register homeless. Council won’t help as I am not exercising my marital property rights, beyond them saying when there is space in a refuge we can have it.
DH being an arse as I knew he would be. House still barricaded against me, so can’t get in, says we can have the car/money as long as we come home.
Doesn’t say he won’t help with car/money if we don’t but so far I still don’t have a car or any money from him. He is basically trying to financially starve me until I come back.
Has offered to do counselling which is at least something.
I’m really fighting myself not to go home. This is so hard.
I’ve let the kids down, I’ve taken them from a nice cosy house, to sofa surfing miles away from home with hardly any stuff.
I could have them back home by lunchtime if I do what he wants.
It’s proving 100% more difficult than I ever imagined, I’ve just been cut loose by all the agencies that assured me they would help. I thought at the time I did the right thing, but now I wish I’d never called the police and just said to everyone something else happened.
I’m debating an occupation order, which I think I could probably get as currently he could stay at his mums, but we don’t actually have a proper place to go and our youngest child is three!
I just want to go home. I’m a tearful wreck because it’s like a whole heap of shit has just descended on me. The kids are being brave and telling me it doesn’t matter that I can’t get us a place to live, but of course it matters.
Everywhere I look I see more and more of a mess.
He just won’t leave, I’ve asked and asked but he says he has nowhere to go, when I point out the same could be said for the three children he just says “but you can come home”
I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how to dig myself out of this mess I’ve created.