Waterbird- Can I be honest? I have a friend (DFrd) whose DH apparently completely out-of-the-blue, walked out of the family home, eight years ago, aged about 50. We work in the same company but see each other about once every 2 weeks.
Naturally my DFrd was devastated. We gathered around. Hours/weeks/years were spent dissecting - Just....Why? What did she say/do? What did he say/do? Over and over, hour after hour. But she insisted, a good 3 if not 4 years post-separation, that she still 'luuuved him/love of her life/never stop loving him' etc- tho he was long gone, just with the odd 'trying to control' text or weird, attempted controlly-action. I readily admit that after the 8th or more weekend away, 4-5 years later, when her record hadn't changed; I, (and one other mate), weren't really listening anymore. Yeh, yeh, yeh. Our opinion had been sought, our advice given. And summarily ignored (as, how could we possibly know what it was like?.... 
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She was furious that we weren't taking her life-altering experience 'seriously' (while asserting we could have no idea what it was like..). But, frankly, had her DH walked back into her life there and then, she'd've taken him back in an instant. Might your friend 'suspect' the same of you? Has she compartmentalised that part of 'you' that she's metaphorically 'eye-rolled' about, while separating out the 'you' that isn't entangled with this 'bad lad' i.e.the one she wants to be friends with?
As it is, Dfrd was actually 'moving on' with her life, albeit slowly, but we saw no evidence of it, to the extent we stopped 'going away' for weekends, as we never knew when one Pinot too many would set her off into attacking us in the absence of her long-gone DH. It was all rather boring, tbh. I am not suggesting you're doing this, BTW! But it took another, much longer-term friend of hers, also bitterly divorced, to tell her, 8 years in, that 'enough was enough'. DFrd finally listened to her! Now she has packed up the 'love of my life/will always love him' shizz. And is with another bloke 
Does your friend really believe you won't go back? You sort of need to convince her.
"She doesn't really remember a lot of what I have said recently"- bear in mind, it's of forensic importance to you- you've had a 'life revelation'; whereas she maybe saw it for what it was waaaay back. And has, with the best will in the world- lost interest in that aspect of your life. Though I bet would be there in an instant if you called out for help!