AIBU to run a mile?

[CupcakeBabaPoo]

An AIBU but I don't dare post it over there!

I met a man on OLD. We had a few dates and have really hit it off. He would message me every morning and at the weekend he told me he really liked me.

Anyway, he had said before that one of his fantasies was for me to have sex with another man (don't know if he wanted to watch or not) then he could make me his. I brushed it off and said I wouldn't do that. That was the end of it until last night. He basically said again he wanted me to 'misbehave' with someone else so he could then make me all his. I said I wasn't going to (again) and he laid on the guilt trip (I will just have to accept it :( blah blah). Then he pretty much had a strop and I haven't spoken to him since....

So, AIBU to never see him again? Each to their own but I don't think it's healthy that he is trying to pressurise me into sleeping with someone else. Also, I haven't had my morning text today

Block and delete, dodged a bullet there

Fuck me - the fact you have to even ask is rather alarming.
Block him now.
He's a fuckwit!
And look at your boundaries.
This is weird beyond belief so back away.

Yes. Run.

Yeah, run. Sorry.

I am so glad you both agree with me I am new to this dating thing so wasn't sure if it was me being a prude. I would never have done it anyway - it made me feel the sick!

Rub that mile in record time. Why do you even need to ask.

Sounds like he might have blocked you already. Never mind.

Thank you ladies! It's lovely to be reassured

I think you should support his fantasy - and I'm free Thursday night. ;)

Block. Run away. Quickly.

You need to ask ?

Carpet - he hasn't blocked me as I have just followed all your advice and politely told him I don't think we should see each other again. I don't do ghosting as I would hate someone to do it to me. I will now block him.

Run 2 miles!
Cuckolding is a known fantasy but if you're not into it, you're not (don't blame you) but that aside the trying to guilt you into any form of unwanted sexual behaviour is such a red flag. Lucky escape OP

AnyFucker - I knew what needed to be done but it's a lot easier when you get other people's advice as I have been known to think before I speak Like I said, I'm a bit out of the loop on dating!

Ewwww it made my skin crawl though that he could even ask that?!

Were you discussing your darkest sexual fantasies after 'a few dates'?

I wasn't! But he was clearly! He's mentioned it 3 times but last night was just too much.

Eurgh.

He mentioned his pet sexual fantasy 3 times after a few dates.

Plus he tried to guilt trip you when you were clear about not wanting to do it.

Even if his sexual fantasy had been something completely vanilla, I think his level of obsession and entitlement would make that a dealbreaker.

Wow. Why are you even on here asking? Do you need constant reassurance before making your own decisions. This is really strange. You know your body is yours to decide what to do with right? You don’t have to have sex. With anybody. Ever. If you simply don’t want to. You don’t need support for saying no to somebody. You can say no about anything at all. It’s worrying that you think you need back up for this decision. You should seek help on setting and enforcing boundaries from a qualified therapist.

Lavender - definitely know what you mean about entitlement.

He also used to reply to text messages using videos some times?! Is that normal now?! I used to find it weird!

Cawfee - as before. I am new to dating and wasn't sure what the etiquette was.... I am capable of making my own decision thank you.

Focus on what you find normal/weird rather than benchmarking against the masses. If someone sending you videos (yawn - I'd stop dating that guy) instead of replying properly isn't your bag, make your choice based on that.

I don't think I'm cut out for OLD. I mentioned at the weekend that I was talking to a couple of other people and he got annoyed but he wants me to have sex with someone else?!

It does help when you see it all written down in black and white.

Videos of what!!?
He just sounds like a standard nob head.

Just videos of him talking in reply to my message He never sent me anything seedy thankfully!

If you are out of the loop on dating then please get used to being ghosted.
It happens all the time with OLD.
Never question your boundaries.

"I wasn't sure if I was being a prude"

Nothing wrong with being a prude. You are entitled to your own sexual boundaries, wherever they may be. Anyone who makes you feel bad about saying no, including by calling you a prude, is best avoided.