Why does this happen ?developing crush

[Issy777]

This happened before too. I strongly developed a crush on someone from a club I was attending and now it's happened again...
Been on n off with dp for 15 years. He can be very controlling, maybe bordering on some EA but I am happy as a family unit.

Now have a crazy crush on a guy at work who funnily enough never spoke to just see him about .

Is this normal? I hate it. I just get almost obsessive basically like a crush you'd have in your high school days. Does it mean I'm lacking something in my relationship?

I just can't help the way I feel. I get excited about seeing him anyone have any advice or experience?

@motortroll

So taking it you're a teacher too? was he from your department? Reason I ask because my crush is a totally different department to me, we don't actually liaise with much maybe on training days we may be in the same particular training slots but everyone is so clicky at my school so everyone seems to sit in their own faculties!

I just don't know how to engage convo to him. Yesterday at staff briefing he was stood staring for ages but maybe this in my head I would like to chat to him cos like you said he might just be really dull or rude or something so then I'd probably be put off him this way is harder cos now I'm fantasising what he is like as a person!

OP, I have no answers for you but relate strongly to what you say.

The difference for me is that my husband is not abusive. It’s not a perfect marriage but it’s good enough for the most part.

But I get huge, crippling crushes on people every so often. Not sure they are ‘crushes’ as they are no romantic fantasies; purely sexual. But they are extremely powerful and will dominate my thoughts for days or even weeks before I manage to get over them. I don’t know what the answer is.

Sounds a bit obsessive and a bit more than a crush the way posters are describing these.

@waterlego

Thanks for sharing. I really thought it was just me and feel much better in a way that you don't have an abusive husband because I always out the crushes down to this?!?
However, so glad I wrote this thread as I can see it's fairly common and glad to hear nobody has ever acted on these as I dobt think I'd ever have an affair I feel I just like the chase, the interest wanting to know more about them

@Sausage101

I'll be honest; I really did think I would have been crucified for this thread but so glad so many other women have come out and said the same!! Maybe you're lucky you haven't experienced this? Maybe it just mean someone are more fantasists and some aren't

But I haven't felt this way/had a crush since 2014 I guess it's just certain ppl I have an attraction too. It's not gonna no where as I don't think we'll ever speak anyway, we have no reason too and I don't think he likes me although yday he was staring at me loads that even my work mate commented on it n gave me a funny look!!! I hope he hasn't sussed out i like him!!??

Some women

Sorry loads of bad typos on my posts due to my phone!!

Leave your DP, let the dust settle and then see how you feel. An affair will end in disaster, leaving your DP will suck but you'll be better for it.

Do you think it's possible to have a relationship with someone (after leaving your current partner) that you've "stalked"? This is going nowhere op and the sooner you accept that the better for you.

@BlytheSpiritsSpirit no but that's the whole thing!! I think I just enjoy having a "crush" and a lil attention I really don't think.. hand on heart.. that I would act on it, the reason im sure? In 2014 the exact same thing happened, developed a crush on a guy out of nowhere at a sports club I joined. The difference was he actually liked me back! He happened to get my number from the system (he was head coach) and start txting me
Needless to say I was very flattered, this guy was 5 years younger than me, cute and fit. But as he started txting I could see he was after a shag to put it bluntly! He was very clear that he wanted a "good time" and this was him after seeing me at a match with my partner so obviously had no boundaries
It put me right off him although no disrespect to the guy he was young, Free&single so pretty much was just trying his luck ! Me and dp actually split a few months after due to issues anyway but I still never did anything with the guy..
I think I just enjoy the chase and a lil bit of harmless flirting
The point is with this current guy there's been none of that cos I'm not sure he even likes me!!! I was hoping ppl could put my mind rest about whether or not he may like me...
I wish in someways he just talked to me so I could just he over it and put off him if that makes sense!

Why does it matter if he likes you?

@Sausage101
Because like I said I truly believe I'm infatuated with the chase, the whole idea of seeing if they like you back... giving the example of the exact same thing that happened 4 years ago, as soon as the guy I liked showed interest I was completely put off him!! Like the other women are saying on this thread, it seems to be a common situation - the thrill of chasing someone, small talk etc.
It'd be easier if I did end up chatting to him cos atm it's getting ridiculous with these fantasies I'm creating in my head & the over looking the stares etc. At least if I knew I could put it to an end hopefully