Not invited to golden wedding dinner

[sb3108]

Hi there. Just looking for some advice. My partner of nearly 2 years and who i also live with has been invited to a family dinner for a grandparents golden wedding. The thing is I haven't been asked. I think it's a strange thing to invite people and not their partners but maybe that's just me. I don't personally think I would wish to attend anything like that myself I would want my partner with me. What does anyone think of this? Is this normal?

How well do you know the grandparents? Some would welcome one and all, others prefer blood/married only. It's up to the hosts.

It is odd not to invite a live in partner to a family event.
Have you met the grandparents? How do you get on with the rest of his family?

What are you all doing for Christmas, have you been invited?

How many times have you met them? Are other partners invited? How many are attending?

Sounds odd but maybe not so much if it's only a few people or there are financial constraints if they're paying.

Are you definitely not invited or has he just not invited you.....?

Maybe they are limited on numbers. Maybe they are just old fashioned and subscribe to “no ring, no bring”. It really doesn’t seem like something to get your knickers in a twist about.

Are other unmarried partners going? That’s the key piece of info. I wouldn’t leave partners out and I think it’s rude to do so. Does your partner know who else is going or, pertinently, who is not. If you have been treated identically to other partners, then so be it. It’s a bit exclusive though. What’s your partner’s view?

It's up to your partner to sort this out. If he doesn't or is unwilling it tells you something, maybe something you don't want to hear.....

I feel you. I'm regularly not included in family events, I've been with my partner for a number of years. No problems with clashing with his family, all get on well.
I've never been invited to a wedding, christening, birthday party etc. At Christmas they buy my partner and his daughter presents but not me (even though I contribute to theirs) if they go on holiday they bring things back for them but not me, they have a group chat I'm not allowed to be a part of, they've invited him and his daughter for a Boxing Day party but not me. When his grandma died last year I couldn't attend the funeral as close family only.
It sucks but you do get used to it. Doesn't make you feel like a part of the family and can be hurtful at times but then can be confusing when they are warm and loving towards you aswell. Guess it's just how they are. I expect if we got married things would change but for the time being doesn't look like it.

I do think it's odd.
However when I was married with dc my in laws didn't invite any of the wives/husbands or the dc (all of whom were of a certain age)to their anniversary meal 😳
Now that was odd. My dh refused to go.

I dont think being married in 2018 should be of anyone else's concern either btw.
You are a couple and that is that.

Jellie why is your partner putting up with this treatment of you?

OP have you met the Grandparents?

@JellieEllie, why is your partner allowing this? And why are you staying with a man who'll allow it? Quite frankly I wouldn't be interested in a man's family if they could treat me like that. And stop bloody contributing! You're acting like a doormat when you do that.

Is it a cost thing?

@JellieEllie what?! Your OH sounds like an arsehole for allowing this to happen.

What does your partner say?
I know if either myself or my partner was in that situation we'd simply say "thanks for the invite. We'll both come along".
It's his grandparents. Do they not talk? It always amazes me when close family don't seem to be able to communicate.

did you have an affair jellie

Jellie What? That's abominable! Why are you putting up with being treated in that despicable way! Stand up for yourself, and tell your partner to stand up for you too.
If he takes no action to support you, it will tell you a lot about how much he really values you.

It's actually his step dad's parents but I have never met them. They don't live local so my partner doesn't really even see them that often. I get on amazing with the rest of the family. I'm going on holiday with my partners mum and him and his little boy soon so that's not a problem at all. I'm usually included with everything they do but for some reason not this. It could be to do with budget but I just found It odd to not be even asked. His sister has a partner and his younger brother so I can only imagine they aren't included either. Just wondered if I was over reacting to be honest. Was a bit hurt by it. It would be the perfect time to meet the grandparents

Your boyfriend’s step dad’s parents. Who you’ve never met. He’s lucky to get an invite, let alone you!

drip feed!!!

Well that was a fabulous drip feed OP!

So some people you’ve never met, and whom your partner barely knows, and who don’t live anywhere near you, haven’t invited you to a dinner?

Erm, your partner’s Step Dad’s parents who he rarely sees and you’ve never met in two years...

No, it’s not unreasonable for you not to be invited.

I’d you want to meet them, go with your DP next time he visits or invite them to yours.

Jellie appears to have considerable cause for complaint though.

from the permission reference comments jellie must have a back story. its drip feed city in here

Oh. Then it's not weird at all, and its reasonable for them not to invite you or other partners. Don't worry about it too much. I was thinking it was close family you had met before.

How is the ideal time to meet them?!
They’ll be wanting to celebrate with people they know, not have to be polite using their party time talking to strangers!

He’s lucky to get an invitation - if he was actually close to them, you’d have met them in the last 2 years.