Not invited to golden wedding dinner

[sb3108]

Hi there. Just looking for some advice. My partner of nearly 2 years and who i also live with has been invited to a family dinner for a grandparents golden wedding. The thing is I haven't been asked. I think it's a strange thing to invite people and not their partners but maybe that's just me. I don't personally think I would wish to attend anything like that myself I would want my partner with me. What does anyone think of this? Is this normal?

Maybe they are just inviting their son's stepchildren as an absolute token gesture? Does he think of them as "his" grandparents, as such? When my dad's wife has anything event involving her family, at dads house, we don't get invited full stop!

so you are upset about not being invited to a personal event of two people you've not met who aren't in your partners blood line or more importantly is he close too otherwise he'd have introduced you previously

it's not a massive wedding type event which I could understand your upset about

Jellie, why are you putting up with that shit?!

They don’t know you, you don’t know them. Why do you care?

I don’t think I’d ivite my son’s stepson’s girlfriend whom I’ve never met to my anniversary dinner either.

It's a rude gesture not to invite you. They wouldn't do so if you weren't married. You're living together for God's sakes! They sound ultra conservative. What does your DP want to do - he should at least comment that he wants to take you and he should make a stand. You're right to feel aggrieved. Idiots.

Err what's conservative about not inviting someone you've never met to your own "do"? Like someone else said, the fact they even invited their sons step-son who they also aren't close to sounds like a token gesture itself. There has to be a point where the guest list stops...

....sorry that should read "if you were married " OP.

Oh wow sorry OP I didn't mean to hijack your thread!
To everyone responding thank you, it's just their way I suppose. My partners, sisters husband got the same treatment until they were married.

My partner doesn't like it at all and often doesn't go to events and has refused the Boxing Day invitation. (His daughter is still going though as we don't want her to miss out). He just tells me to not let it upset me as they do love me and don't have anything bad to say against me.
In all honesty I wouldn't want to go to these events anyway with people that didn't think to actually invite me in the first place.
A family holiday was booked by his mother last year, everyone was invited and paid for. I was allowed to go but only if I paid for myself so I didn't go and neither did my partner. (More out of principle than anything)
I've just got used to their weird ways over the years but thanks for the support ladies it's nice to know i aren't totally unreasonable for being slightly miffed!

Sorry to disappoint you @mushypeasplz no back story just a generally strange family. But thanks for your solid theory that I must have had an affair 😂

JellieEllie I'm genuinely intrigued. If you have been with your partner so long and are happy . Why don't you simply get married?

Strangers them?

I would not worry about this at all. Its familes.and reasons, etc, but no big deal.

Think you have a partner problem then not just a partners family problem.

parchworkpatty bacause then she'd have to spend time with these weirdos

@Patchwork I'm sure we definitely will one day. Just financially can't afford to at the moment.

Weddings do not always have to cost a small fortune

I also think your partner,s response I.e telling you not to let it upset you because they do love you and do not have anything bad to say about your is a cop out. He cannot or equally will not deal with them here.

jellie, we got married for under £300 just us and our witnesses, and that included taking them for lunch afterwards and frankly, given that you would be an idiot to invite this family who exclude you because of the absence of a wedding certificate, you should go for it, just the two of you. And stop deluding yourself that your partner's family 'love you'. That is not loving or respectful behaviour.

You've never met them. Why would they want to share such a big occasion with a random?

It would be the perfect time to meet the grandparents

Well it seems that you haven't bothered to meet them before - why haven't you gone along when he sees them ? Why suddenly expect an invitation to dinner when you don't know them ?

his step dad's parents but I have never met them

WHAT a dripfeed.

YABU...

do you really think things will improve @JellieEllie or will you get 'but I love you, it doesn't matter.' find it odd to expect different treatment after being married.

sorry Jellie. I missed your first post. His family are strange!!