Moving on from being ghosted

[Emeraldcleo123]

Hey. I had another thread going but looking for any advice. Was in a year and a half relationship, past few months were reconciliation after a break up but seemed to be going well. He's disappeared. We had a minor disagreement over nothing, I immediately tried to change the subject. The next day I got one message and haven't heard from him now in 6 days. We were in contact every day.
Foolishly I tried to get him talking and explained myself. Didn't lose my shit and was very understanding but nothing.
He's defo completely ignoring me so I have to move on. How do I even begin? I feel heartbroken and at the same time mortified that he couldn't even say we were done!

What an absolute dick, he’s got you where he wants you hanging on.

Please block him on everything and for the love of god do not go back to him, EVER, if he comes crawling back apologising. This is such an unhealthy cycle to be in and your mental health will be permanently fucked.

Have you got food real life support? Reach out to a no nonsense friend for advice, plan some really fun stuff with friends and focus on healing for a while.

Block him completely and try your hardest to stop analysing the situation. It sounds like it was a really crap relationship.

In future don't put up with a relationship where there are issues like you has with him. It's not healthy.

I really feel for you. I know how hard it is. I know I need to block someone I care too much about, but they don’t care about me and seem to enjoy the fact that I’m hanging on... but just can’t bring myself to do it.

Does he live to far from you to go round and have it out with him?

Does he live to far from you to go round and have it out with him?

Crawling there on her knees, presumably?

We all feel for OP but she is sabotaging her MH and self respect by hanging on for crumbs from this utter bellend.

Omg what a dick head.

After a year and a half this lack of communication is either spineless (if he considers he has dumped you) and/or abusive if he imagines he can just punish u with silence and then pick u back up when u have been "trained" to never assert yourself or your values in the relationship.

You're shocked now but his obvious spinelessness will help u in the long run as once the shock passes u will know u have not lost anybody worth having.

Weird thing is while I was doing that he started to type a message then stopped.

That’s just messaging apps, it doesn’t mean anything. Might be clicking on something else, might be nothing. It doesn’t mean the person was typing in the message box.

You poor thing, you’ll drive yourself mad!

RyderWhiteSwan - no holding her head high and making the spineless coward talk instead of hiding behind his phone. That’s what I meant.

Look at lisa a romano, meredith miller, ross rosenberg on youtube OP
They have a lot of information about moving out of co dependency (ie tolerating crappy behavior, craving the approval of narc assholes)

Id block him OP

He is working away from home at the minute and anyway he lives a few hours away. I would never turn up on his doorstep or try and call him as it would just make me look more mental.
I am gutted. It's like the past year and a half didn't exist, it's a weird feeling.

Ok you’ve sent your closure message now block. I’ve been where you are and the only way to move on is no contact. You’ve made your position clear so no reason to further embroil yourself in his games unless you are alo getting something out of it.

Don’t try and pursue further contact in person

Ghosting someone is really cruel. It's happened to me with a newly found family member that I wouldn't just happen to see. It will keep bugging you but you just need to let it go.
You need to think of it like this: if he came back today would you ever trust him enough to do not do it again? Probably not. Therefore for your own peace you are better off without him.

How about one more message saying, “You know what? You’re a spineless twat and I’m glad our ‘relationship’ is over. Your actions are that of a nasty, immature waste of my time. Will now block you.”

I don't even know how to begin meeting someone in the future when I'm ready. I'll be so untrusting. Is this what dating is like now? The disappearing act? Especially after so long!! What happened to just having the balls to say thanks but no thanks

I thought about losing my shit but that what he probably wants me to do so I'm refusing. I have tried to come across as understanding albeit confused and civil

Maybe stop being understanding. Why should you be civil to someone who treats you like you’re worthless?

Continuing to be understanding has hope in it. I think get angry and end it and block.

Well I've certainly made a twat of myself that's for sure especially as I'm sitting pining for someone who doesn't give a toss!
I'm just so glad I didn't introduce him to my kid yet. Due to seperating from his dad and new houses etc different routine I was wise to not do anything too soon!!

OP you are not a twat. Many of us have pined after shits like this - and recovered. Yes, good your DC doesn't know him. You WILL meet someone else. You'll now be more aware of red flags and will assert yourself more as to what you need in a relationship.

Focus on healing, for now. MN is always here for handholds and support - and the occaisonal bollocking and kick up the arse when needed

Thank you. I'm so tearful about it all but trying to distract myself and not let my boy see me upset.

I just can't believe it's come to this. Gutted.

Blimey, you're not listening to what people are telling you - I want to shake you!

Redtartanshoes summed it up perfectly... I advise you to print that out and staple it in front of your eyes!

For gods sake woman stop messaging him. He isn’t going to reply. Every time he reads your messages he’s smug thinking what a fucking number he’s done on you.

He isn’t the love of your life, he isn’t a wonderful amazing kind person. He’s a cunty little scum bag that gets his kicks treating you like shit over and over and having you run after him like some desperate puppy.

Please delete his number, block him, get rid of everything that reminds you of him. Get some self respect, you deserve more than this. Really. I’d rather be alone until the end of time than be shacked up with a narcissistic abusive cunt like that.

I know this thread is a couple of days old now. But I stumbled across it yesterday, and after reading it through, I felt compelled to comment.
Firstly OP, please take comfort in knowing that there are so many other ladies out there (myself included) that either going through, or already have been situations/treatment very similar.
Having read through, you have been given some very sound advice. Somethings in fact; I needed to hear.
I too have just had a relationship end, with no real closure and am on the receiving end of the silent treatment.
After talking to a mutual friend at the weekend, I was left to feel that maybe I had hurt him so much he was just done. And this was his way of handling it. (Despite said mutual friend saying he didn’t want it to end the way it did, and did want to talk to me). I got told that the silence was because he’s ‘moved on’. Already?! How that makes my heart ache.
But what I’ve realised since reading this feed, is that he hasn’t moved on, he is in fact doing what he’s done since the end. Sulking. Thinking completely about himself, and not sparing one thought for how HIS actions have hurt me.
A couple of weeks ago, I went on a drunken night out with a friend. And rather inevitably sent a text. For a drunken text, it was pretty tame. I said my final sorry. Needless to say it never got a reply, and our mutual friend has implied it never will.
I have gone to block him on social media, but can’t quite do it with him number.
I feel your pain OP. I really do. Maybe, like me, you’re still holding out for that closure. But I think we have to act as though it won’t come.
That’s how I’m getting through it. Sending love x