FIL bought our house, we own it - how do I get our contract?

[CarrotCake2]

Can I just say the 'Right listen up' thread is amazing. I just got back from my third counselling session tonight and know that splitting up is likely inevitable if big changes on hubby's part don't happen...and I'm pretty sure they won't. Or I can just continue muddle along as if everything is rosy to avoid conflict, which I don't plan to do for much longer...

My biggest predicament is that I don't know the financial implications of our agreement with our house with his dad, despite many different ways of googling it! And I'm missing a vital piece of information.
...Basically, my FIL bought our house outright, and we pay him monthly, with interest of course. BUT I have none of the paperwork at all . I feel really naiive and stupid to admit this, and I have asked my hubby for it a few times over the past 2 years to no avail, there is never 'a good time' to ask for it apparently. Apparently it was on the kitchen worktop when we moved in - of which I was not made aware of - and where has it gone? I've never seen it. I skim-read and then signed the last page feeling very flustered at the solicitors with my OH, not taking it all in with his parents and the solicitor there watching me; I know that my agreement with hubby is 50/50 - the solicitor re-iterated it and I saw it in print, but I don't know how it would work if it our relationship went to pot (both our names are on the land registry website btw). I know hubby would expect/want me to leave - but idk if I I would get half what I put in over the past few years, or if the house would get sold and I'd get more as our house has increased in price?

...I really want the contract for peace of mind - I just need to know. There are multiple reasons I don't want to ask his dad for the paperwork. Can I just go to/email the solicitors and ask for a copy? The other issue is that his dad is pals with the solicitor, so this may send up a red flag, and I don't want him being pre-warned something is likely up. Is there a way I can ask for the contract without raising suspicion? My surname name has changed since we got married ofc, I could say I need to update it...though they may wonder why I didn't do that 2 years ago, why now? I don't even know what this contract is called to ask for it!

I'd then likely need to see a financial advisor. I only have £1.5k in my own savings (thankfully I never sent it to my hubby for our next holiday - the fact we do all our finances entirely separately is one of the many, many reasons I'm unhappy in our relationship). Any advice anyone can give me would be greatly appreciated. I'd obviously have to rent to start with.

We have no kids, I want them but had an abortion earlier this year as he didn't want me to go ahead with the pregnancy and I was scared to go ahead without support. Please don't judge me, I want kids but especially glad I didn't go ahead as things aren't great now, and around now is when the baby would have been due. I just need to get my Plan B in check to feel like I have some control of my life right now.

"SantaClauseMightWork Wed 21-Nov-18 21:24:52
I have read this post before. Have you shared something similar before this post OP?
Please stop calling that dick ‘hubby’.
I also don’t understand how you can own the house if he bought the house outright? Is the reason that you never saw the paper work again is that the paper work was a trap for you laid by your husband and FIL with the help of this solicitor friend?"

Omg if I did then I've completely forgotten. All I remember is reading mumsnet a lot and wanting to post. The time around that massive fallout is/was such a blur of utter misery and loneliness, which I refuse to fall into again.

^"fuzzywuzzy Wed 21-Nov-18 21:36:01
If the house shows up on the land registry website as owned by op and her husband doesn’t that mean that she doeee have a financial interest in the house?

Also op on the land registry website does your father in law’s name appear on it as having a charge secured on the property?"^

I've just got the document out again.
Registered Owners; husband and me.
Lenders; FIL & MIL
Proprietor; husband & me

I spoke to his dad confidentially years ago twice about his behaviour and text messages I read. One of which he sent a friend saying he has a pre nup on the house and I wouldn't get anything, of which his dad insisted is bullsh*t and I would. I should have asked him for copies of the paperwork then, but I didn't think of it at the time.

I've just found the photo I took of that text he sent his friend, word for word; "She also said the other day that if we split, she gets back half of what's paid off on the house. As I have a equivalent of a pre nup on the house. It just safeguards my deposit which was all my own. But she's obviously thinking about what would happen if she left"
...btw there was no deposit. He was talking utter shit to his friend. I'm pretty sure you can't have a pre nup and not know about it anyway...

Btw I did call him out about all of this, never even got so much as a sorry, only fury that I read his texts and denial about things I read that he wrote. Yes I'm a moron.

Pre-nups are not valid in the UK, and I think you’d remember if you’d signed one.

Pre nups can be taken into account on splitting in England but there would need to be evidence that you had taken independent legal advice. So one you can't remember signing is unlikely to be taken into consideration.

The starting point would be 50% of the equity in the house as it's valued now.

It seems like in laws are simply providing the mortgage.

How long did you cohabit for prior to getting married and how long have you been married?

Won’t go into great detail here, but I did sign a prenup type agreement and when we divorced my solicitor explained that as I had not had independent legal advice it was null and void. This was in England but many years ago.

When you say your FIL brought the house, what do you mean? That he brought it from you? Or he brought it and you live in it?

Sorry I know this is off topic but I keep seeing people using ‘brought’ instead of ‘bought’ all over MN recently. Can anyone shed any light on why this is? It doesn’t make any sense at all!

Because auto correct kicks in and mn isn't the same as a gcse exam

So going by that, I’d say it would be treated like if you had bought the house with the help of a mortgage.

Your IL’s would be owed the outstanding amount of the loan on the house and the rest of the equity would be split between you and your husband.

However, how do you prove how much you have paid over the years, you’ll need to produce clear evidence of payments made to your IL’s for the loan.

Assuming that your FIL is essentially a bank in this situation that you have taken out a mortgage with wouldn't the options be

a/ one of you remains in the house and takes on the full mortgage commitment and needs to pay half of the value of the house (current market value) to the one leaving the house behind

or

b/ you both decide to sell the house at market value and pay FIL whatever it is you still owe on the house plus any exit fees required, with whatever is left over being split equally between the two of you (depending on what other assets are to be split of course).

Maybe I am reading it wrong but it comes across to me like that. You definitely need to try and track down that paperwork (can you ask FIL for a copy as you are not privy to where yours is?) and hire a solicitor to help you understand where you are at if the paperwork is not completely black and white though.

Also I assume that the remaining mortgage amount and anticipated fees and charges would need to be deducted from the market value of the house before a payout amount is reached?

*FearLoveAndTheTimeMachine Wed 21-Nov-18 22:21:08
When you say your FIL brought the house, what do you mean? That he brought it from you? Or he brought it and you live in it?

Sorry I know this is off topic but I keep seeing people using ‘brought’ instead of ‘bought’ all over MN recently. Can anyone shed any light on why this is? It doesn’t make any sense at all!*

FIL Bought the house outright, and we pay him monthly with interest. He's kind of like our mortgage provider.
I feel really awful for them because they did this out of the goodness of their hearts, we were given an amazing opportunity many don't have and I'm still so grateful - it is a very long-term investment for them, and I want to stay here for many more years. I love our house, our neighbours, my job nearby. But I need to feel loved, I need to be in an equal relationship and treated with respect by their son, who I unfortunately love a great deal.

fuzzywuzzy Wed 21-Nov-18 22:27:09
So going by that, I’d say it would be treated like if you had bought the house with the help of a mortgage.

Your IL’s would be owed the outstanding amount of the loan on the house and the rest of the equity would be split between you and your husband.

However, how do you prove how much you have paid over the years, you’ll need to produce clear evidence of payments made to your IL’s for the loan.

My FIL gave us a statement last year (which has also mysteriously gone missing), and said he will give us another at the end of this year.

Thankyou for the advice, really really appreciated.

What if my hubby insisted he wanted to stay and says he'll buy me out? Would I get half of what we paid in back?

OP you can’t do these two things at the same time: you can either greatly love someone who respects you for what you are, or you cannot greatly love someone who does not respect you as an equal partner. There is a reason you keep calling this person ‘hubby’. Based on what you have described so far, that reason is not good at all.

Right, I need to go to bed now and try to clear my mind, as unsurprisingly I haven't been sleeping well lately! Can I just say although I don't have time to quote and respond everyone I really appreciate everyone taking the time to reply to me. I've been told different things by different people that made me worry an awful lot.
I will go to the solicitors on Friday and ask them for copies of the paperwork, I might just bring in my marriage certificate too and ask them to update my name as that probably should be done at some point anyway.

Ah ok I understand now. Your FIL provided you with a loan in order for you to buy the property. Is that correct? How come you didn't get a mortgage from the usual avenues?

SantaClauseMightWork
I keep saying hubby for 2 reasons. 1 - because I don't know the abbreviations on here yet. 2 - because I'm still in love with the guy I knew, and some days are good, some are bad, and I hold on to and hope for more of the good days and that things might change, even though I know it's ridiculous. And I'm also in a difficult situation - I feel so empty and desperate for the love I know I deserve, and I have no family where I moved to, all are at least 4 hours drive from me. I have no one I can hug and cry on the shoulder of. And I can't tell them what's going on because they'll worry. My mum is having us for Christmas too.
If I move I've decided to stay near the town we live in though, because I love it here and refuse to just have these few years as a bad memory. Moving away with no support and no one nearby that you love is hard though.
The counsellor gave me a hug tonight even though she isn't supposed to because she feels for me and I told her I miss hugs and being cared about.
Anyway. I need to get my 'Plan B' worked out, like he told me to over 2 years ago (yes, really)...because this isn't a healthy relationship and I deserve better.

I really am signing off now for tonight! x

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1
We didn't have a deposit, it was a way to fast-track getting a house. We are very lucky to have a home of our own thanks to my in laws.
...Signing off for tonight now honest!!

The amount you get back wont be dependent on what you have paid in, it will be based on the market value of the property and the outstanding loan/fees/interest due etc.

Ok - so your father in law does not own the house - he is a mortgagee, in the same way as a bank would be.

Without seeing the OCE but upon the information given
You own half
Your in laws are your lenders and will have a restriction against your title

When FIL gives you a statement at the end of this year, immediately take a photo of it on your phone and email it to your Mum or sister etc. In case it "goes missing" again.

I'd say your DH has made these things go missing.
Perhaps you need a declutter on the weekend and can go through the house cupboard by cupboard, drawer by drawer.

Why do you only want half of what you've paid in over the last few years?

Sounds like your DH is a twat. Why don't you want to take him for half the equity?

OP I'm not sure you have a house atall, I'm very confused

From what you have said it appears that

1] You own a half share of the house
2] Your FIL/MIL have lent you a 100% mortgage on the property.
3] You are paying a monthly mortgage payment.

The questions that arise are:-
1] Are you paying interest only or is it a repayment mortgage so that the amount you owe comes down each month - if only by a little.

2] Was the house value when you bought it a "fair" value. In other words did they sell you a house for £200K when similar houses nearby were £150K. In this case you will never get any equity on a sale until house prices have risen above the £200K.

3]Time to check Rightmove for house prices in your street to see comparable prices. Also - what price did FIL pay for the property? Have they made a profit on the sale to you?

4] Did you pay any stamp duty/legal fees etc - or have these been added onto the mortgage?

I am afraid that you need to see a solicitor to untangle what has gone on.