New relationship? Post divorce? Cheated on? Please read...

[HIVpos]

After my own experience last year (starting to date again 1 year after a 20+ year marriage) and as it is currently HIV testing week, I thought I’d post to raise awareness.

With about 10,000 people in the U.K. not knowing their status - I’d still be none the wiser if I hadn’t taken myself off to a clinic after my relationship finished - and it becoming more prevalent in the older divorced group of people, if you are not aware of this stuff, please read.

I plan to post some links over the coming week, and am happy to answer any questions.

First link from THT, a bit more detail and where to get tested...
www.startswithme.org.uk/

Today’s link (apologies for newspaper choice!) tells the story of a woman similar in age, situation etc- not me though!

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-5593485/Divorcee-58-reveals-diagnosed-HIV.html

Thanks for the reminder, VERY important to get annual or biannual testing for all STI’s!

I make sure I test every partner, and have just recently had a random check.

Great post 👍🏻

very important to do OP, thanks.

Hopefully bumping here.

Scary isn't it, pregnancy no longer a risk but STDs spreading so much more in the over 40s

With about 10,000 people in the U.K. not knowing their status

So about six million people in the UK DO know their status?

Thanks for the replies.

shitwithsugaron I’m not sure if you are going to a walk in clinic, and planning to get getting tested for all STIs? If so, it depends on the clinic, but HIV & syphilis tests are done with a blood test, and chlamydia & gonorrhoea with a urine or a swab test. You might also be able to get the HIV spot test, where results are given in 15 mins - this one is being done in many locations over the next week.

Any reactive HIV or syphilis result will have to be confirmed with a blood test. Also keep in mind that for both these it can take up to 3 months to show a positive result (although a test done 1 month after the last “at risk” episode is fairly conclusive)

If you click through the link in the first post you might get further details from your own clinic. A lot of them are moving to postal testing. Except for the immediate results from the HIV spot test, clinic or postal tests tend to take about one week.

NotTheFordType not sure where you got 6 million from. There were about 89,000 people living with HIV in 2016, and 93,000 in 2017.

www.avert.org/professionals/hiv-around-world/western-central-europe-north-america/uk

Or this makes it clearer:
www.tht.org.uk/hiv-and-sexual-health/about-hiv/hiv-statistics

They haven’t updated to 2017 though so I don’t know figures for last year other than 93,000 total

You’re welcome @shitwithsugaron. If you’ve any symptoms or problems in the fanjo area, it’s best to let them check it out. There’s other STIs like trichomoniasis that they can check for too.

I only went for a sore fanjo check - have atrophic vaginitis - and threw in STI checks while I was there!

I do worry about my ex, she was very anti condoms and said she didn’t like using them. She’s 46 and I guess feels she isn’t at risk but I know she sleeps with guys fairly soon after meeting them if she fancies them.

I think some women believe that they’re not in an at risk group as far as HIV Is concerned (I was one, but did know that there’s other STIs much easier to catch). I hope she at least gets regular testing richdeniro - postal testing is so easy nowadays

Today’s link is a video by Prince Harry:
www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-46246186/prince-harry-with-testing-we-can-end-hiv
If we chip away at this bit by bit we can end this

Thank you for posting this HIVpos. I was in post-divorce, post-cheating, new relationship with a man who had had a vasectomy and it didn't occur to me to get tested. My only thought was "phew, at least I can't get pregnant". It did him though and fortunately we were both clear. I will be more cautious in the future, if needs be - it made me stop and think.

@LittleLifeRaft well done to both of you. I had the Mirena coil in so thought the same.

Re. any new relationship, well I know no guy will contract HIV from me as I’m on meds, and I also know I don’t have any other STI (my consultant asks if I need/want testing every time I go for regular blood tests - I feel like he’s rubbing in the fact I’m not having any sex when I say no !). So I would certainly be making sure that any guy in a new relationship was tested too.

Today’s video...Dr Naomi Sutton giving the low down on HIV - love her facial expressions . I believe she’s -stuffing her face with cake- raising money for Saving Lives & TRFT in the main entrance to Rotherham Hospital. The main point is to raise awareness for HIV.

This is being up and down the country this week in hospitals, unis, shopping centres, charities etc

m.youtube.com/watch?v=MCJnbdHYzGM

Try again...

I recently did a postal test after my relationship ended, where it became doubtful that he hadn’t been entirely faithful. Luckily everything was clear but it was free, painless and easy to do from my own living room. I got a text with my result three working days after I put the package back in the post. My test was from icash.

Well done Bigbagofnerves. Unfortunately in relationships partners can lie . I initially got a postal STI test but then decided to go into the clinic as I had other problems - I binned it last week as it was past it's sell by!

But yes - it is supposed to be really easy to do, easier than going in, and fast results - free too! Anyone can just google their local NHS for details.

@shitwithsugaron all the "usual suspects!!! - thanks for reporting back! Nurses are great aren't they? I think they are the mainstay at GUM clinics. 40 mins on walk-in is pretty good I think, depending on where you are.

My nurse was all full of how low risk I am etc etc - I'd never been tested for anything before other than HIV when pregnant!

Best thing you could do, anyway - better to be safe than sorry etc etc. some are even suggesting on Twitter to have a "testing get-together"....go in a group to get tested, then go for a few drinks after!!!

Today I thought I'd share Becky's story - from her diagnosis to moving on with dating.

OLD is something I've been trying to do over the past year. I haven't got very far as of yet, simply because 1) I'm a lot more careful of the whole dating thing, and I think everyone would agree that dating is tough at the best of times! and 2) There are so few guys I actually fancy and more than a few idiots out there . So I haven't got to the actual "disclosure" bit with anyone ...yet!

Anyway, I think this article is a good read... www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/article/0764fde7-3d4c-4342-a927-2456a04db49a

Today it’s Zoe’s turn. A lot of people have HIV health anxiety - unsurprising if like me, you remember the 80s AIDs tombstone ads and “don’t die of ignorance”. However, this link shows just how easy it is to allay any fears if you’ve been in any situation where you might have been at risk. Most importantly, there is no judgement whatsoever shown at clinics - they’ve probable seen it all!
www.avert.org/hiv-testing/stories/Zoe