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Original poster

Caught my boyfriend searching escorts!

57 replies

Clo90 · 16/11/2018 23:28

Please help. Last year I looked on my boyfriends search history and on and off over 8months he had looked up escorts a lot! He denied it was him and said it was his friends then eventually he admitted to looking once.. he said it was on the google search bar history (from where 'his friend searched it') so he decided to have a nose.
Shortly after that i found out i was pregnant. We had been trying for a baby for about 4months. Since then ive never fully trusted him. Our son is now 6months old and i still think about all the escorts on his search history. He never lets me on his laptop and i have no way of signing onto it. So makes me think he is searching them. I just want the truth from him so badly! :(

OP posts:
IStandWithPosie · 17/11/2018 21:58

What was his excuse for having a burner phone?

Christian77 · 17/11/2018 22:05

Sometimes, we need different people to fulfil different aspects of our lives. This does not make us bad or untrustworthy, it makes us human. Some couples are in love, but don’t have sex, or they do, but nowhere near enough for one of them. So one seeks it elsewhere. Does this mean the couple should separate, when happy in other ways, in the vain hope of finding a relationship elsewhere of the type that doesn’t, really, exist? The French have got things sorted when it comes to this.

IStandWithPosie · 17/11/2018 22:06

Oh yawn. OP ignore that bullshit.

Hideandgo · 17/11/2018 22:12

Oh Christian, bless you😂

twominfromthebeach · 17/11/2018 22:16

OP he's very obviously lying, and building lie upon lie. It will all come crashing down sooner or later. Do yourself and DC a big favour and walk away. You can't trust him. Good luck :)

PolkaDoting · 17/11/2018 22:19

Well searching is one thing, but texting them a completely different ball game.

MadeForThis · 17/11/2018 22:19

You know the truth.

You just have to decide if you want to live with it.

Original poster
Clo90 · 17/11/2018 22:25

His burner phone he's always uses to called his mum in Nigeria... cheaper to call on.

I know in my gut he slept with some escorts. I just know it. I guess I just hope and pray that he stopped when I found all that shit and confronted him back then... but what are the chances.

What baffled me is that we've always had a great sex life. So it's not like he's missing out on that.

OP posts:
JK1773 · 17/11/2018 22:25

He’s totally dodgy. He doesn’t let you on his laptop but his friends can use it to google escorts. Really!!!!!
My ex was this. Get rid. It will always be eating away at you. You deserve better

Creamontop · 17/11/2018 22:27

Sorry, obviously can't say for sure, but sounds as if he almost definitely has/is cheating on you. I'm talking from experience. You don't have a burner phone for no reason. And the talk about his mates using it is nonsense. He is completely disrespectful towards you and your little one. Please get away from him as soon as you can, and definitely don't sleep with him. There's nothing to work with, when someone has that level of disrespect for you.

Creamontop · 17/11/2018 22:30

It's not necessarily about the sex. It can be be about the sense of power and control, knowing that you can get what you want by just paying someone for it. Also there may be the thrill of it all - the secrecy and lying - like an adrenaline rush.

Original poster
Clo90 · 17/11/2018 22:32

I had a smear test and came back hpv positive and had to have a biopsy. This has made me think about everything so much more. I keep thinking I bet he got hpv from an escort and then gave it to me.
I read 70% of women get it once in their life and it can cause cervical cancer

OP posts:
Original poster
Clo90 · 17/11/2018 22:34

He's always said he can never understand why people cheat... 🤔 why would someone say that and then cheat

OP posts:
Dirtybadger · 17/11/2018 22:36

@Christian77 no they don't have to separate. They could discuss it and come to a decision on what to do. Open relationship. Break up. Just learn to live with it. Whatever.

If you can't bear not to fuck other people in a monogamous relationship then make it non-monogamous by consent or end it. Cheating is not the solution. I'm more than averagely supportive of poly and open relationships but that's a whole different ball game to your partner sleeping with sex workers behind your back. And not what this man is doing or has done.

Even in an open relationship I'm sure most women would have a problem with that being by using family money to pay for it! Ugh.

IStandWithPosie · 17/11/2018 22:38

OP you need a full sexual health check up. Get tested for everything!!

Creamontop · 17/11/2018 22:38

My soon to be ex gave me an STD but totally denied giving it to me! Mine also said the same to me about cheating, even telling me how his married friends were out of order for shagging around on a stag do some years ago...It's baffling to say the least - why would you even go there with the shagging around stories??!?

IStandWithPosie · 17/11/2018 22:39

He's always said he can never understand why people cheat... 🤔 why would someone say that and then cheat

To throw you off the scent obviously.

Dirtybadger · 17/11/2018 22:39

HPV is very common and is sexually transmitted but it's also something that can lie dormant for years so it could have been from anyone.

That isn't your proof. Your proof is he's been texting sex workers!!

And whilst it isn't fool proof, I always find the least trustworthy people are those who go on and on about cheating and how awful it is. Any normal person just take a that for a given. Thou doth protest too much and all that. Like I say that's not a 100% thing but it's a trend I know a lot of people notice. Saying you don't understand cheating isn't very good assurance of someone not being a cheater. No one tells their partner they're a cheat! Everyone says it's awful.

Weenurse · 17/11/2018 22:45

Just ask to use his computer. If there is resistance, ask why?
Don’t accuse. Explain you want to look up HPV and explain to him that as you have been diagnosed, he is at risk as well if you have been having unprotected intercourse.
Explain HPV can lead to penile cancers, look up treatments for penile cancers. They aren’t pleasant.

Original poster
Clo90 · 17/11/2018 23:02

I had a full check after I found out all this crap

OP posts:
Original poster
Clo90 · 17/11/2018 23:04

I will say tomorrow I want to do something on his laptop and see what he says.
He probs will say look it up on your phone to me though

OP posts:
Weenurse · 17/11/2018 23:05

Good luck, and I am serious about penile cancers, he needs to know what to watch out for.

MadeForThis · 17/11/2018 23:09

There are certain sites/files that will only work on a laptop.

you need to make sure he doesn't just sit and watch you.

But what are you hoping to achieve? You already know he slept with escorts. Do you need more proof? If you find it what will you do?

IStandWithPosie · 17/11/2018 23:21

You don’t need to see his laptop OP. You know the truth. You just aren’t ready to act on it. That’s fine. But don’t wait too long. It’s your life you’re wasting every night you go to bed pretending not to know what he is.

fartwhenyoustandup · 17/11/2018 23:55

Come on woman. You KNOW the truth. He's worthless and you need to kick him to the curb. Immediately. You don't need to see his laptop... just tell him to pack his shit and leave now. I know it's hard, but be strong. This man only ever loved himself... get rid and retain your self respect.
Best of luck to you. Thanks

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