I don't even know what I'm asking here. Hell, I think I just need to vent.
I have been with DP 3.5 years now but known him a total of 8.
We dated at university but it wasn't to be. Then 3.5 years ago, got back together.
Usual story, it started off amazing. We had the same plans and wanted the same things out of life.
This is my biggest concern at present. Now, I haven't seen any of my friends for 3.5 years. Partly because I became (and still am) very unwell, obviously now we're all in full time work which causes difficulty and every time we do make a plan, my DP sabotages them.
I'm supposed to be going out tomorrow eve with a few of the girls. Due to losing a shit tonne of weight, I've had to buy new clothes... I've also bought fake nails and hair extensions.
Every time the plans are brought up, DP goes into a huff. He wants to know exactly where we're going (no real plans have been made, just town and clubs), he agrilly asks "Why are you tarting yourself up?" (maybe because I want to fit in and feel confident?)... He reckons I should be wearing jeans and a t-shirt for a night on the town and has insisted that he drive me to the meeting point.
For months he has had an attitude with me. Saying that I talk to him like a "c*nt" and nagging at him.
It's his responsibility to take the dog for her last walk at about 10.30. I do the feeding and putting to bed. Now come 10.30, he's usually asleep on the sofa so I wake him... multiple times, every time!! The thing is, I can't go to bed until the dog is back from her walk and I'm the one having to get up at 6.30 the next morning for work. Selfish? Or just lazy? I don't even know.
He works self employeed and only 2-3 days a week so he gets a lie in most mornings.
On his days off, he does a quick tidy up and then God knows what. I come home at around 5.30 and he's only just doing the pot wash. I suspect he's napping/playing Xbox all day and not much else.
On a Sunday I deep clean the kitchen and bathroom and he sits and does sweet FA...apart from taking the dog for a walk.
I cook his food as if I don't, he doesn't eat properly. After a long hard day at work, I spend an hour in the kitchen making meals whilst he walks the dog and watches TV.
I pay the rent. He pays half the utility bills. This is because he's a very low earner with his self employed business. He owes me and the joint bank account around £600 altogether which he is paying £20 a week to as this is all he can afford.
He uses my old phone to access my social media when I'm out. I have nothing to hide (he knows this as I'm always either at work or with him at home). What cuts me up about this is that he's been reading private messages that occurred whilst I was single.
As with most couples, we have celeb crushes... But im not allowed to verbalize them. He however can make comment on women e.g. in the street/supermarket to me and think this is okay. Heaven forbid i admit that Channing Tatum is my type.
He no longer comes to bed because "there's nothing in there for me". Meaning "because you go to sleep as you have to be up at 6.30am and I can't watch tv/smoke/sex etc.".
I've spoken to him about all of these things and he helps out for a week or so and then it's back to square one. These are just the main issues, I have a list as long of my arm of incidents that have happened... all of which are "my fault".
Like I say, I don't think I'm asking anything... maybe some advice? But damn it feels good to vent!!