Unreasonable to flirt with male friends?

[bigcalm55]

Literally just what the title says. I have 5 male friends, one is gay so it just isn't even a thing. 2 are in relationships so again it's not even there and the other 2 I do casually flirt with in text/conversation. Is this unreasonable?

If your partner is aware and is comfortable with it, then not at all.

If your partner is aware and has explicitly stated that they are uncomfortable/ insecure about the flirting for whatever reason, and you continue to flirt, that shows disrespect to your partner, and is unreasonable. And that goes for all 5 friends, no matter their preference or situation.

Why do you ask OP?

Oh I'm not in a relationship.

I ask because I'd hate for it to be seen as like cheating in a way? Like between the men I flirt with? I don't even know if that's seen as a thing. Like is it a form of cheating?

I guess that depends on the partners of your friends. Some people would be able to see it as innocent banter between friends who are comfortable with one another. Those of a more insecure nature may feel uncomfortable about the flirting and the sort of territory this may lead to, however unlikely.

Have your friend's partners ever said anything about your contact with them?

Cheating is debatable.

Disrespectful to the partners- most definitely.

Kind of depends what you mean by "flirt"

I mean that could be anything from dropping an ocassional double entendre into conversation, to getting your tits out.

They are single. You are single.
Not sure why you are asking...are they off-limits sexually because you are friends?

Bit disrespectful to their partners isn't it.

So you only flirt with the friends who are single? I can't see what the problem is unless you are leading both of them on, making them both think it's going somewhere.

Are you trying to say that flirting should be exclusive?

Give an example of flirting, it means different things to different people

I'd say it was pretty rude if they have partners. Do you think they'd see it as unreasonable?
My dh cheated a while back with one of his former friends who'd flirted with him (in group situations, no less). The reason he looked her up while living away from home for work was because they'd flirted a lot so he knew she was interested. At that point she'd recently broken up with her bf and was ready for another relationship, regardless of whether he was already with someone. So she put the moves on and he reciprocated. I sincerely hope you're not a bitch like that, but just so you're aware, that's very likely the kind of person those men see you as. And if I was their partner, I'd definitely the think it disrespectful.

Why do you want to flirt with friends? I don't understand it.

If you're flirting a bit because it's fun, and everyone knows it's light hearted and not serious, then that's fine.

If you're seriously making these men think you're interested in them when you aren't, then that's a bit pointless and unkind.

If you're unable to interact with male friends without flirting and demanding sexual attention from all of them then that is tedious.

I wouldn’t flirt with someone who was in a relationship. I would probably only flirt with people I was interested in romantically/sexually. If you are single and they are single, I don’t think it matters if you are flirting with one person or 10 and I wouldn’t think anyone could say it was ‘cheating’ as you’re not exclusive with anyone.

In my opinion, if you’re flirting with them, then they’re not friends. They’re something more.

I also don’t think it’s nice to flirt with anyone that you aren’t into. It’s bad enough when you misread a situation and think someone is into you when they aren’t, let alone someone intentionally flirting with you without meaning anything more.

As long as you’re flirting with the single guys & they know you don’t mean it, that’s ok. If you’re flirting with the ones with partners it’s completely disrespectful & you’re ‘one of them girls’.

It's weird that you think it's ok to flirt with guys you know are in relationships. Do you think you have some kind of claim over them? Can you not stop yourself flirting? That's an issue in itself.

Don't be surprised if in the future you see less of the two that have girlfriends. But you can't really complain either since you have no boundaries.

Yes totally depends what your flirty texts say.
I'm on fb with a guy i know from my 20s we were good friends, part of group who all lived together, have slept with him but only once after a drunken night out. He is happily married now. He has said in messages how I still look the same, I'm hot and he always fancied me rotten but also says he is happily married and his wife is a good un and keeps him on the straight and narrow. I respond with maybe 'ah still a charmer I see, we had to.e great times eh, back in the day.'

For me that is all harmless and healthy.

However only you know what you are messaging and how "flirty' it is.

inmyshoos don't be surprised in future if that man suggests an affair with you, purely sex of course. He's doing the ground work on you already.

inmyshoes doesn't sound harmless and healthy for his poor wife. Sounds a bit sleazy to be honest. Why would you respond to that?

OP if you are single and they are single there s nothing wrong with it, but it's a bit weird. I wouldn't flirt with my male friends because they are my friends. I think I would look at why you are doing it. There s a woman in our friendship group who likes to flirt with all the men, it's an ago boost for her so she can feel attractive, and the poor men all think they're in with a chance. I think they're all idiots for falling for it but I do feel for them. If you are doing it because you fancy them fine, but if you are doing it as an ego boost or to feel like they fancy you then I would stop.

I had a weird moment with a male friend recently where he got a bit flirty and touchy and it's put me right off him. My friends are just that, my friends.

So, you are flirting with men in relationships? Grim. Just wait until their Partners find the messages, which will happen one day. You're going to lose these male friends, for sure.

@inmyshoos
I'd be grossed out if any partner of mine was messaging other women like that. Yuck! Especially ones he had slept with. I don't understand how that's harmless.

Why would you flirt with friends? My friends are like family. It just wouldn't happen unless ulterior motives involved

I think its completely harmless and not at all sleazy, all in the open and we had sex 20 years ago fgs. He's a nice guy, defo not doing ground work and lives overseas. I'm not uptight about things like that, you either trust your partner or you don't.
We all lived together for years. Everyone has a past.

You're not in a relationship and neither are they, don't see the issue at all!