Please let me know if I am being out of order...

[deludedanddazed]

Hello. Quick back story. Have been with my partner for 3 years. During these 3 years there have been a handful of situations where he has been unfaithful. I have decided to stay each time and work through it. The latest situation being in June of this year. We are working through it and can honestly say that things have never been better between the two of us.

He is going out tonight to a big party where there will be plenty of ex 'flings'. I have been invited but do not want to go as I have not been feeling great recently. I have expressed to him that I am anxious about it and hope that he does not do anything to jeopardise us.

He then says that he is sorry that I feel like that and that he doesnt have to go to the party. I have said that I want him to go and have a nice time. I apologise for saying what I did and that I do trust him and know things are different this time. Then suddenly he turns. Says that he cant believe that I expect him to get with women when he goes out and that he is angry and upset at me.

I apologise another couple of times and say "I love you."

He says that he finds it hard to say I love you back at the moment because he is so upset and angry. He then says he cant do this.

Have I been out of order here? In my mind I have just tried to express my feelings and be as open as I can

You deserve so much better

Please, LTB

omg ditch this waste of space...

I'm sorry I'm about to say this but .....
Does he wipe his feet on you on the way out ?
You sound like he has you exactly where he wants you.
I'd not be forgiving him the next time. And there will be a next time.

I'd put money on the fact that the person doing the main amount of "working through" his infidelity is YOU, OP.

Look, this guy is going to keep cheating on you. He knows it, you know it, we all know it - this is how it is. So you need to ask yourself if you're OK with a boyfriend who sleeps with other people from time to time. It's not a question of if he does it again , but when.

But don't try to pretend to yourself that he regrets it and won't do it again. This isn't some one off aberration from the past that he's ashamed of and has truly changed, realises what he stands to lose, wants to make a go of it with you, etc. He cheats, you accept it - that is basically the arrangement.

Your options are accept his cheating, or walk away. But there is no "he magically changes and stays faithful" option. You can tell that from his actions.

If he had any balls he would not have gone to the event & spent the evening with you. Typical selfish player.

As others have suggested get rid of him Now

This is not a relationship that makes you feel loved, respected, secure or safe. It is a relationship that has you feeling fearful, guessing, uncertain and playing by a code you don’t like. Thankfully you don’t live with him. Exit.

He should cheated on you several times and He thinks YOU’RE being unreasonable to question his behaviour? He’s a knob jockey OP

This is one of the most tragic threads i’ve Read for ages.
Get some self respect. You need to realise that it is entirely possible for you to meet someone lovely who isn’t unfaithful and who treats you with respect...
Ditch this guy and work on your self esteem. You need to learn that it’s better to be single that with this apology for mankind.
It makes me so sad that there are women out there who think so little of themselves...

You've caught him cheating 3 times. But how many times did he cheat and was not caught? At this stage, you have all the red flags and are now doing this to yourself. He is not faithful and will not change. He has deliberately engineered an argument so he has an excuse to cheat. You must see this?

You have no ties with this twat. Dump and block him. And get yourself to the STI clinic. Find yourself a decent bloke who will treat you with respect and that you can trust. This guy will just continue to erode your self esteem.

Now he will try to claim that you were 'on a break' if he gets up to anything at the party, or should I say 'when' he gets up to anything?

I'm sorry, this man is a scumbag and you deserve so much better.

Why are you staying with this man? He’s been unfaithful a number of times and now is blaming you.