Single mummas....what do you do when you have no adult conversation?

[Bubblesandcake]

I struggle some days more than others. I have family but they have absolutely no interest at all. I have had 2 interviews this week after 8 years of study/work/single parenting. It's been tough. This week has also been tough. I have had a rollercoaster few years and I'm finally applying for work. With nobody to share it with. I have been sat here for hours doing homework with my 2 dd's after a stressful day. I am sat here now thinking how nice it would be to sit and chat to an adult with a glass of wine but I don't have anyone.
Is there anyone out there that finds this part of single parenting difficult?

It’s hard. With my first (single parent with him) I struggled with having no one but my parents to share pictures and stories with. They were happy about his progression etc but not at the same level as me and I felt I was pestering them with photos all the time.

Can you join a forum or small group onFacebook with people with kids the same age so you have people to talk to?

Can you do some childcare swaps with friends and go out for wine?

Yes, I do. It's why I during school hours I go to as many work-related events as possible. I'm self-employed and could do most of my job on my laptop at home, but I need adult interaction to stay sane, even if it is a bit contrived.

Essexmummy88 thanks :)
I post on Instagram etc and it's my little bit of connection with the outside world but its not the same. My family aren't interested at all. I'm ok most of the time. It's just vulnerable times I guess.

Grobagsforever :) I don't really have anyone to go out for wine with.
meiisme :) that's good, to be able to be flexible. I go to an exercise group but its usually just a 'hello'.

I talk to my cat.

Gingaaarghpussy :) I usually talk to myself!

I used to be a single parent and would sometimes feel the same way. Could you call your hv. I appreciate you may not need one as your dd May be older now, but there services extend to family. They will know of single mums in your area that they could put you in touch with. They did it for me years ago. That way you know you’re both in the same boat. There’s also groups set up for single parent families...I think there’s one called Gingerbread. Google it. They may be able to suggest something. Otherwise, until then, I find it lovely to use mumsnet to offer advice when they need it. Xx

Ozziewozzie :) what is hv?

HV is health visitor

I resort to going to bed at the same time roughly as my child. Beats sitting on your own watching rubbish on tv. I just read or catch up with what’s going on in the world. I have no real close family to talk to, and no close friends. Gets very lonely sometimes

PaleRider1 thankyou :) that's exactly what I do! I already feel anxious about the weekend coming up. My life is busy, a lonely busy but I like structure and routine. I'm not good with having no plans. My dd's are 11 and 13 so see their friends most weekends.

A lonely busy is a good way to describe life, yes. Whilst I am more than happy being single and can honestly never see myself in another relationship, I do miss a closer friend to have a coffee and a natter and a good old moan.

This is the part of being a single parent I find hardest. Someone to discuss your day with etc. Even someone to celebrate a success or moan to on a bad day. It's been 2 years now and doesn't seem much easier

I think it depends on what you're interested in. If you enjoy video games (xbox, Ps4) it's very easy to sit down and play and talk with people and they're mostly adults these days, or if you have some sort of interests you can find forums etc. You're a person outside of your kids, and it's hard discerning that sometimes. I'm a single mum too, I recently got back into work myself, part time, at a school. I do a lot of voluntary things around it to fill the time and we have lots of playdates and activities. But every month or so I go out with a friend, see a movie or do an escape room or something. Just something for me to remind myself that I matter too.

--And then I feel guilty about it afterwards 😂 --

I know exactly how you feel. Single parent to a 7 year old and 18 month old. Not working at the moment. I talk to some of the mums at the school and that's my only adult conversation for the day. Most of the time I gibber away about a million conversations within 10 minutes as I've had no one to speak to all day😂 don't have many friends and the only ones i do have I rarely see.

We need a single mums chatterbox group lol

Mumsnet.
Talk to myself.
The neighbours cat, she takes pity on loves me .

I've been a single parent for 4 years and I've repressed the need to share details about my life, which has backfired as I've started work and the manager says I'm too reserved!

It's hard and I feel sad other people feel like I do but also a comfort in knowing we are not alone. I am sat with a glass of wine celebrating the fact I got the job, I really felt I hadn't. To all you lovelies out there...cheers! :)

Yes the repressed and reserved effect. You get used to spending so much time not having adult conversation that when I’m in the compatof adults I seldom know what to say of keep a conversation going. I’m sure the Mums at school think I’m either a stuck up cow or a miserable cow as I don’t chatter away like they do.

Well done on getting the job, Bubbles!

I'm another lonely busy single Mum... DD is only 8 so good company when she's awake, but I feel like I have lost the art of conversations with adults. I either can't think of anything to say or get anxious and overshare. And people always ask what I've been up to!! Nothing. I've been up to nothing. I work, or I'm at home with DD. I have nothing interesting to talk to you about.

Join parenting groups on Facebook. You can then post up things about your kids and get feedback. There’s a group called The Motherload which is brilliant and has saved my sanity many times. They also have a friend meet up page. Join the website called “meet up”. There will be lots of parenting groups in your area.

Have not RTTD but I generally try to get her into bed, crack open a bottle of wine and begin annoying phoning my friends :-D Then I come on here when they don't pick up...hence, I'm here. Hi!

I've recently discovered an app called mush- it's like mum tinder 😂 you can getting chatting to other mums in your local area who may have similar aged children/ interests. Not been on long but so far so good x