FB messenger scam or lying h?

[Whiskaspie]

Our FB are on the same devices and we have many of the same friends, there has never been a problem about seeing each other's stuff.
For context, h works away a lot, and has cheated in the past twice that I know of, although I only recently found out, it was a very long time ago and I thought things were good in between (house, marriage, kids) so are trying to work through it.

A few weeks ago, he got a FB messenger from a Cathern Galvan. Noticed it a few days ago. No pic. Recently created messenger account, but doesn't have FB account. Apparently, his phone number was used to find him. He's had his current number for three years. Her message was 'hello bob' (obviously Bob isn't his real name).

He apparently doesn't know her. Convo was deleted. Nothing else so far. There were no baity clicks links as described in recent known messenger scams.

So, was it a scam, or a woman he doesn't want to admit to knowing? How would she have his phone number unless he'd given it out? Anyone had/ know of similar? The woman's name I gave was the real one used, in case anyone knows her and wants to get in touch :). Or has had the same random account contact them/ their dh.

I think DH could be telling the truth here. She would have his phone number just by guessing a random combination of numbers.

Hang on. Confused about the Bob bit. Did she use his actual name?

Yes, she used his actual name. Which is on the FB messenger account anyway, so doesn't necessarily mean anything. I'm more interested in how she'd have his phone number and why she'd use it to look his up. Surely if trolling FB for someone to message, she'd search names rather than numbers? He has a FB account, so it would be clear who she was messaging.

I have had a few random messages just saying hello (usually with stock picture of fit guy) which are obviously scam/spam messages. The name sounds made up too to be honest. How do you know they found him by his phone number?

But to be fair if he's already cheated twice I'm not surprised you're suspicious.

Costa there are a few legitimate ppl with that name to be found on google :). After the convo had been deleted, I checked back on messenger and although the convo had gone, when I searched the name it came up and said, underneath the name, Cathern Galvan used your phone number to r... (then ran out of space on the line, as they do). Clicking that didn't give any further info.

But thx for the info that you've had random hellos.

Inappropriate to post a RN OP

Is it a real name though? Not according to h. It isn't any of the ppl who come up on google search, so it's just as appropriate to use the account name here as it would be to use any other name for illustrative purposes, as whatever sensible name I used as an example, someone somewhere would actually be called by that name.
As an aside, it's also inappropriate to message random strangers pretending to know them, in which case I think it's completely justified that the name someone uses to do this under is known in a forum such as this. Surely it is useful for scammers names to be known?

What was the photo like? Can you use it to do an image search? See if it’s been lifted from somewhere else online?

On my messenger, messages from people who aren't in my contacts go in a folder called 'filtered messages'.

I don’t think it’s inappropriate to use a real name on mumsnet. Why would it be?

Wow @SavoyCabbage you must be so hot! Look at all the people trying to hit on you 

His phone number could be on his Facebook profile. It's listed often under the 'About' section.

nottaken there wasn't a photo, it was that blank head icon thing.
moonflower I thought that only friends could access that info though, not random strangers.

What I meant was, his phone number isn't in the bio bit which everyone/anyone could see.

savoy it was on mobile, just in the usual one main messages page. I think you get different options whether using desktop or mobile? And it was clearly from that name, not as 'Facebook user'. Why would some come up as Facebook user rather than a name?

Facebook user is what shows when people have deleted & blocked you or have deactivated their account.

If a non-FB friend/messenger contact contacts you on messenger for the first time it comes up as a message request notification & if you accept they go into your contacts & can then message as a regular FB friend can.

I don't get that whiskey... As far as I saw, and this is on mobile messenger app so I don't know if it differs from desktop, there was a message from this person on the usual message page. Not in requests or anything different. So does this mean they were in his contacts?

Has your DH got a public phone number ie business cards etc or is it private? If private then the only way she could have used it was if it was given to her by DH.

But in answering your original question, yes you can just get random hello's or friend requests without the need for the lookup using your phone number.

Messages from people you aren’t friends with need to be accepted... so either he accepted it before you saw it ( he wouldn’t need to to see it, it shows you the whole message) or it’s somebody that he’s accepted messages from previously.

So if she wasn't in his contacts and sent "hello bob', would it show on the main messages page of the mobile app or go into the requests page/folder?

He does have a card, doesn't need to hand it out much though. Or so I thought.

.... beaver's second part and tabulahrasa's answers seem to be contradictory to me, although I might not have read them correctly...

Sorry, not doubting, just a bit confused!

Random people can look you up and send you messages, but the message wouldn’t be in the same place as your other messages, until they’d been accepted.