What do I do? Dp acted like dick on night out

[Thewalker75]

Been with dp 5 years, 2 young dc, very happy.

We went out last night for the first time since before our eldest was born (so more than 2 years ago) so let our hair down a bit.

He got pretty drunk and at the end of the night we got separated. He then started texting me really weird stuff saying that he hated his life, that I was selfish and that he wanted to be single.

I just kept replying with things like 'where are You 'please come back etc I want going to engage with his ramblings until he was sober.

When we finally got reunited he was acting like he hadn't said anything so we went to bed and this morning I told him what he had done.

He was mortified and had no idea why he said those things to me it's not how he feels at all. He hasn't stopped apologising since.

I'm so upset and don't know what to do, we've never had anything like this we barely even argue so it's knocked me for six. I don't think i can ignore it but what can I do? They were horrible hurtful things he said and I feel like I should end things but that just seems so dramatic.

Can anyone help? Hope the above makes sense, I'm very tired (!) but I need to try and make sense of this.

I once said things to my best friend that I absolutely did not mean, think or will ever understand why I even said them. When she told me I was horrified. I couldn’t understand why I’d done it because it wasn’t even thoughts I’d secretly had. Try not to dwell on it. If he feels anything like I did he’ll be absolutely mortified, baffled and hungover. With me my friend graciously accepted my apology and that I hadn’t meant any of it but that didn’t stop my own feelings of horror. This was over 2 years ago and I still hate what I did. Drink can do this unfortunately

I do remember my first husband being really drunk, throwing his wedding ring at me and telling me to divorce him.
He was seriously drunk, which was out of character and because he had not eaten.
We did get divorced, which may not be the ending you want to hear, but it was a couple of years later.

We're the texts intended for you? Was he texting someone else these thoughts and they got sent to you by accident?

I think being drunk can ‘enhance’ Stuff said , even a slight dissatisfaction ,

@Pebblespony - that has to be the best drunk text ever!

I'm not even religious. They were a closed order and I cycled past the convent every morning. No idea what I was thinking.

What a dreadful end to what should have been a lovely evening. Your first night in two years and you end up receiving nasty texts from your OH. He can apologise all he wants and state he didn't mean it however you cant unread them...... I am not surprised your upset.

How upsetting OP. He might be saying he is adamant it's not anything he really thinks but at the end of the day, he did say it and it did come from somewhere whether anyone likes that or not. Maybe he does yearn for a free and single life sometimes, that doesn't necessarily mean he wants to actually leave though, they aren't mutually exclusive. How you feel when you're drunk is not how you feel when you're sober either.
I'd try and engage him with a proper chat about it, if he is adamant it's 100% untrue then what can you do but let it lie and keep an eye on things. Personally if he'd at least say he was drunk and got a bit upset and it's natural to miss a situation where you had no responsibility and going out reminded him of that; I'd find that more believable than his alleged total amnesia of it, which just seems like damage control in lieu of an honest chat.

Nope, don't agree with the drunk tongue speaking the truth. It's just not true.

Early on in my marriage, my DH (who I knew adored me) did the same thing.
He was drunker than I’d ever seen him - before or since - and he said some incredibly hurtful things. He told me I was ‘cheap’, that I’ve always been cheap and I’m an embarrassment etc etc.

The next morning he was mortified. In fact, to start with he thought I was joking (no texts to prove it!) but I was so devastated he soon caught up. Like your DH, he was apologetic and adamant that he didn’t feel that way about me.

I was able to let it go. He has never made me feel less than a goddess in 20 years, other than that moment.

It’s total bollocks that drunken tongues tell the truth, as my nana says. More like pub talk is no talk!

Jesus, if drunk me got half the stuff I wished for when I was drunk, I’d be surrounded by all kinds of mad things. For example, drunk me has asked for lasagne before. I don’t like lasagne.