What the hell?

[Feckers2018]

Look I'm going to be absolutely honest. DH was a fully fledged sex addict for ten years. I found out by drip feed. Took me ages to get over and should have kicked him out. I in the mean time did use alcohol because it was all so fucked up. No excuse.
He took no responsibility at all. I pulled myself up and got a full time prof job.
Anyways..... if I have a glass of wine he over reacts totally. Friend came round and I had shared a bottle of nice red wine with her and him. Cue h calling me an alcoholic and I can't wait to finish the bottle. Hmmmm. Was absolutlely fine. He then, when friend has gone starts telling me that intimacy is about sex and I don't get it. When I begged to differ he said his girlfriends had no trouble with him and then walked out of the door to the gym. Was slamming doors in my face and saying I look horrible because I have red wine around my mouth. I did a bit but so what?
Of course I'm ending up isolated because my friends do expect normal fun eg chat and a glass of rose. Can i just say I only have a drink /glass of wine every month to get it into context.
Anyway hes obviously trying to take me down with him.
Feel like I'm losing my grip on whats what.

I'm normally very po-faced about alcohol and am shocked at what some people seem to think is reasonable consumption - round about what I'd drink in a year over a weekend sort of thing - but unless you're minimising beyond all credibility, sharing a bottle once a month doesn't count as alcoholism in ANYONE's book. (I'm not sure how you got some left round your mouth though, it's supposed to go inside .) Misusing alcohol at one time in your life but having no trouble ceasing to misuse it doth not an acoholic make.

I'd understand if you'd promised your H you wouldn't drink again but here you are doing it. I'd understand if he were a recovering alcoholic himself or had a religious objection to it. What it sounds like, though, is that he is looking for a stick to beat you with in order to cover up his own issues. Like the episode of the Simpsons where Marge becomes addicted to fruit machines. Homer lists out a load of awful things he has done (or still does) but says none of it matters "because YOU have a gambling problem".

You don't have to stay with an arse just because you've been together for a long time, you know.

ps A pedant adds, if it was red it wasn't rosé.