Who do kids go to if you die??

[Beeperbird]

Cut a long story short, I’ve never really gotten on with my in-laws. They have very different values to us. They’re nice enough but I don’t want them influencing my kids!
We were talking about wills the other day and my MIL directly asked me the other day who the kids will go to if we die (very weird

@vanitythynameisnotwoman so sorry, that’s terrible

@blackeyes72 I think it’s 16 they can live on their own... maybe! I vaguely remember reading about it somewhere recently

Is there a default when you don’t have a will? I guess social services would decide...

I have 4 DC, DS21, DD20, DD17, DS4. We have discussed as a family as mine and DH parents are passed on or too old. We have finances in place and DD20 gets guardianship of DS4, we will continually review and change as life changes. I sincerely hope DH and I don't go anytime soon and put her in that position but very happy as much as can be she understands what it would entail.

Ours will go to PIL as my DDad was I’ll when they were little (he’s sadly gone but DPIL are still our choice as younger than DM). I anticipate changing the wills in about 5 years time when DPIL are too old to want the bigger house etc. Life insurance very firmly in place here....we’ve known people who didn’t and the main bread winner has died and it’s been blooming awful.

We are so lucky that my husband and I have a sibling each with amazing moral compass, views very similar to our own, the stability and generosity to take in our children if any of the worst scenarios ever play out. We know they'd remember us well to our children and help them live a full life.

I think it's important to have these discussions with the people you'd trust most with those you love most. We have wills in place and good life insurance policies so hopefully we wouldn't place too much of a financial burden on either of our families.

Our parents if able otherwise my sister or DH's sister, are named in our Will although as DD gets older (she's 18) there's the possibility she might be added as an option.

DH also has older two brothers who we considered but in all honesty I wanted the 'Mum' in this scenario to be a blood relative.

My sister. We wouldn’t want to put that pressure on either set of grandparents, and out of all our siblings we know that DSis and BIL are the only ones who would raise DD how we would.

I’m also down as guardian / to live with for all my nieces and nephews for the same reason.

The other thing we did was safeguard DDs inheritance if only one of us was to go, leaving everything 50/50 between them. I know that’s not for everyone but I had a friend in a similar situation and his mother behaved abhorrently. I just want to know DD will always be okay.

My DS is 1 and I'm in the process of sorting out life insurance and a will, and I'm finding the legal guardian bit very stressful. I need to see a solicitor to iron out some queries before I make a final decision but I'm struggling with deciding who would be best. I'm a solo mum. Initially it was an automatic reaction that it would be my parents. But now I'm having major doubts and they are of the mindset DS 'must' go live with them. I feel if I don't choose them we are heading for a massive family fall out. Just don't know what to do ☹️

It's essential to put your wishes down. We've had to fight to keep the 4 children together after my friends were killed in an accident and both sides of the family wanted some of them!

I've had thus discussion with my Dsis. If anything happened to her and BIL her DC would come to me and vice versa.

It's an unwritten agreement. Inlaws won't fight it.