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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

MarriageOver??

37 replies

Lostinuk · 19/10/2018 23:41

I’ll try to be brief. My marriage has been in trouble for a while but I need some advice. Do I just give up on it?
I posted ages ago about it but still stuck and it’s not better.
I used to work away for years but gave up after a cancer diagnosis. Hated being away from my family but we felt we needed the money. Naturally we became more distant.
I never strayed while I was away although I think my wife thinks I did.
Sex slowed down not from me wanting. I’ve always found my wife incredibly sexy and we’ve been together 25 years.
But sex just a few times In the last 4 years and for a year or so before that limited to just a few times a year just before I went back to work. I would have to go for a few months at a time.
Any way we did it once befor my prostate cancer treatment 3 years ago and she hasn’t touched me since.
She wasn’t always unfriendly just not close and no intimacy or empathy. Cancer treatment was tough.
Anyway I went back to work but only 1 year more and resigned to come home to work. I’m sure she was having an affair or just cheating if there is a difference.
When I got back she said don’t expect sex. I was shocked.
I think she was angry as with me coming back she would have to work more.
Just after I got back I found a condom in her trousers.
Big argument over this but she down played it with several lies. I couldn’t prove anything.
I started snooping around to find more info. Tried to get us to marriage counselling, she wouldn’t go.
Anyway our relationship got worse eventually she agreed to marriage counselling after I had the house valued. Counselling went on for a few months to no progress even the counsellor said she wouldn’t open up.
So I can’t get her to say what she wants. I discussed what I wanted a loving relationship, but nothing from her. I know it all seems obvious.
I’ve seen a solicitor, just an early discussion. But my wife said she found a lump in her breast. I’ve genuinely tried to be supportive but she tried to blame me in a round about way for her possibly getting cancer. She suggested that her having to work hard was making her ill, I’m the cause for her working hard by coming home. I’m also working just as hard by the way.
She hasn’t had the tests yet even. I couldn’t sit quietly for that and asked her why she thought I got cancer then? I just couldn’t believe it. I didn’t yell.
She just told me she has a follow up appointment and scan. I’m still supporting her and said I would come she said no a friend would.
What do I do?? I need a woman’s opinion. Is she repeatedy just telling me it’s over but wants me to end it? We’ve got 3 kids the youngest is 13.
If I didn’t have kids or they were older I would have divorced already. So maybe that’s my answer.
Sorry if I seem weak or indecisive. My family has meant so much to me that it’s hard to let go.
Sorry for the long post any help would be appreciated.

OP posts:
Rosexoxx · 19/10/2018 23:52

Sounds like she wants it to be over but maybe doesn’t have the courage to end it or wants to blame you. Have you told her you’ve seen a solicitor? If so what was her reaction?

Lostinuk · 20/10/2018 00:04

I have told her. During when we were having counselling she asked and I said yes I had 1 meeting. She was supposed to see a solicitor as well. But didn’t say she had for a while. I found out she had and when I asked she said it to discuss a will as ours were 20 years old. However I know who she saw and they are a divorce solicitor.
There have been many lies over the last few years. Some over small thing others not.
I was planning to bring up divorce with her but I don’t think this is a good time.
I think she would like a divorce but is worried about having to sell our house.

OP posts:
Weenurse · 20/10/2018 00:05

It sounds like she does not want to work on your marriage.
I suggest asking her outright does she want the marriage to continue?
Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Rosexoxx · 20/10/2018 00:16

If you are truly unhappy and feel things cannot be fixed then it might be time to move on. It doesn’t sound like either of you are happy. You only get one life, you both sound like you might be better trying to find happiness elsewhere. The whole breast cancer scare is terrible and maybe while you wait for the news you should see a therapist on your own just so you have someone to talk to, might help to vent.

AsleepAllDay · 20/10/2018 00:35

You would both be happier apart. She has essentially shut down the physical & emotional side of your relationship. I would ask what you get out of this

Lostinuk · 20/10/2018 00:38

In five years my kids will all be over 18. I would like to have a little happiness and love. Less financial pressure. I’d like to have time to build things. Enjoy spending time with someone.
I’ve been working the last 10 years to support our house/small holding and haven’t had any time to enjoy it.
I’ve spent years working away for a place I saw for less than 2 months of the year.
I am organising counselling for myself.
Until about a month or so ago I would have said I loved my wife, but now that’s gone.
I know how scary cancer can be which is why I’m trying to be supportive, but she seems to be pushing me away again.
For me there was a lack of support and caring when I was having treatment by her. She seemed worried about when and if I was going back.
I could have tried to work things out is she had been honest but now I don’t think so.

OP posts:
Rosexoxx · 20/10/2018 00:48

Well if the love has gone there is no point in staying. Your kids will understand one day.
Good luck hope you find happiness x

Graphista · 20/10/2018 01:24

Sorry but I can't help but think that you were insane to think a long distance relationship when you're married and have DC is AT ALL feasible.

Frankly it rather sounds to me like it was you wanted to work overseas, then when it no longer suited you, you changed to working at home.

You talk of all you've done for your home yet the reality is that you've been an absent husband and father for many years and are now seemingly expecting to be welcomed home like the conquering fucking hero!!

You say NOTHING of all your wife has done, sneaking in that you have a small holding which would mean no small amount of work for her AND she's been essentially raising the DC alone!

You're all me me me!

There's never an excuse for cheating, but even as someone who's been cheated on myself and is usually vehemently anti cheating - in this case without condoning I can certainly understand why she might have!

I don't believe either that you couldn't have either stayed home and worked in the U.K. Or your family come with you or at least live somewhere near enough to where you were working so you could have seen them more.

Support your wife at this difficult time WITHOUT sulking about the lack of sex or ticker tape parades and grow up!

sadiesnakes · 20/10/2018 04:48

@Graphista - Agree 100%.

Holdingonbarely · 20/10/2018 08:07

@Graphista
Are you the wife!
If not it’s amazing how much insight you have into her feelings and day to day life

Lostinuk · 20/10/2018 08:21

@Graphista
Thanks for being honest don’t hold back. Very hard to pack years of history and emotion into a few short paragraphs.
I’m a sailor, that’s what I was when we met it’s what I know. My wife is a chef.
Our dream was always a house in the country with a few acres.
We ran a small business but when my wife was pregnant with our first child decided to stop. The business was built around the 2 of us. Didn’t provide a huge income.
After that I did short trips away to provide an income. Yes my wife worked hard looking after our child. We had another child.
I tried several jobs always worked but struggled to earn enough. Our relationship had its ups and downs like all relationships I think but we had a closeness and got along. We weren’t big talkers about emotional things in the past both just got on with it.
We bought our dream house slash farm renovated it and moved in. Child #3 .
We tried to earn a living from the farm but with a few acres of hill side not easy and debt built up.
I was offered a temp job away, discussed it and we agreed it would be for the best. I took it and we were solvent again paid off our debt and had money in the bank. Yes she looked after our children and I understand this is not easy as I have also taken care of them. No not while she was away for months. She did have a gardener and a someone to clean to help her and employed people outside for farmwork when needed.
We have no livestock just a few chickens and kitchen garden.
I know it was very hard for her easy for me. I worked ate slept repeat.
I came back found work locally but had a call asking me to come back. We talked decided it would be good for a couple years.
I did. While i was away we had an extension to the house paid for by me told about it after work started. She did work part time and again I know it’s not easy.
But it’s not easy to spend months living in a tiny cabin the size of most peoples bathrooms sharing with another person who you don’t know. And I worked hard.
It is so hard to be away from the wife and family you love so much. We briefly discussed moving down to where I worked but that would mean leaving the country with the family and I would still be away at times. She had a life and her family around her. Her old school friends and new ones.
Maybe we should have moved in hindsight.
We were also able to have a new barn built to help us when I stopped working away.
I called and FaceTimed every day. They meant so much to me.
My working away was for US, my family and yes I did sacrifice. But it feels now I want sacrificing for us but to keep the farm going.
I had to stop work as I was diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer. Fortunately my work paid me 1/2 pay while I was off.
Cancer made me re think my life. However during my cancer I needed some empathy and closeness from my wife. Yes I needed it I was in a very bad place.
My wife barely touched me, didn’t even give me a hug unless I asked. That’s not right I think. I could see she had changed maybe the problem was I hadn’t and expected to fit back in. I loved her just as much and thought she looked just as beautiful.
I went back to work after 6 months or so but very reluctantly. Cancer had made me think.
I would happily sell the farm just to be altogether. My wife would happily have me away to keep the farm. That’s the reality.
I stayed for a year to try to pay off the barn but I was struggling physically and mentally.
When I said I was going to leave my job my wife went cold.
I realise that there are 2 sides and it takes 2 to make it work. I have tried talking, I tried marriage counselling. She only went when she felt she had to. That was never going to work. She had to want to go.
I am not blaming her for our marriage failing. And it is failing. But I wanted to work it out if possible. I’m willing to admit my mistakes but not that it’s all my fault. But I won’t be stepped on.
I tried to organise date nights. Just go out for a drink. She wasn’t interested.
Yes I was suspicious when I came back. She had completely changed. I found clues of an affair adding in the hormone therapy for my cancer not good. Mix in lies and 1/2 truths from her even worse.
She stopped wearing her wedding ring a few years ago. And I guess that is significant.
I want to be happy and I want her to be happy. This is what I have said to her. I want to be able to sit down on the sofa next her have her feel comfortable maybe put her head on my shoulder. And yes sex but that’s only part of it.
Maybe I didn’t get it right wanted to much but to come back to a brick wall and resentment and being told straight off the bat no sex before she said hello. That’s not just me.
And if it’s over I would have hoped she would have the decency to say.
So yes there is some me me but before it was all about them. I sent all of my salary home do they could have a good home.
I’m not a hero coming home but I’m wounded.

OP posts:
user1484424013 · 20/10/2018 09:57

My husband has advanced stage cancer. Even before that when we knew something was wrong I have stayed by his side. Not as in anything other than to care and nurture him. Ne his wofe and his friend. He is down to half pay we are skint. I care full time for him and our 2 daughter's at school and a baby. I hate the fucking cancer but not him we were close before but closer now. We are each other's life and the same applies to out princesses. I'm just going to call it.... from what you said your wife seems like a right fucking nasty piece of work. I have seen how brutal cancer treatment is radiotherapy on its own is harsh but combined with chemotherapy it's really brutal. And I would never ever dare suggest get back to work. We can sink low and fast to debt if it means my husband had a chance of survival. I honestly would be surprised of she has found a lump. She sounds like a diva and you need to get the fuck out of dodge. You worked away to support your family. She had a Gardner a d cleaner and hell with the kids and she still miserable. No one like this will ever be happy. I am assuming some on here never read you post because some of the comments have been harsh. You survived cancer to only be neglegted and avoided. That's not how it works and you know this. To not touch someone after cancer is absolutely disgusting and this is what you say she is like.

And let's be honest if you were a woman posting this... They would all say LTB. Think I'm that

TooOldForThis67 · 20/10/2018 10:36

She is in the wrong, not you. I wouldn't be surprised if she is having an affair and doesn't know whether to leave you for the other man, so is using delaying tactics. You've been slogging your guts out to support your family and now you are back, she doesn't like it.
I'd suggest LTB - you've really tried to sort things out with her and it isn't working.

Purpleisthenewblue1 · 20/10/2018 12:13

One thing I’ve discovered in life is that some just don’t have the same heart or depth as another and it’s times like these that put it to the test. I’m sorry but she just doesn’t sound that nice.

Dadaist · 20/10/2018 14:07

Don’t listen to @Graphista - it’s just projecting bitterness and anger that belongs elsewhere on to you. It’s obvious that time apart has taken its toll but that you’ve wanted to create and sustain the best home life for your family - and sometimes the dream is hard to achieve. It also seems clear that your wife has checked out - even @Graphista isn’t ruling out an affair.
Your DW is not seeking your emotional support or further investment- which must be heart breaking - and I see how your feelings are laced with bitterness over what has gone before.
Sex and intimacy are not everything- but they are a pretty good guide as to where things are in a relationship. It’s also about the second or third issue unhappy women will raise when explaining how bad their marriage is - even when they are the ones with no desire.
If your DW doesn’t want to repair things (because she has someone else, or no longer loves you for any number of reasons) then this will be obvious to your children too - they are old enough to understand that it’s not a good marriage. Why continue to set such a bad example to them ‘for their sake’.

You should seek to find your happiness and let your DW do the same. Perhaps- when she realises that she is t just stuck with you, and that perhaps you aren’t the source of all her unhappiness- she may want to find a way to reconnect. But maybe the prospect of separation has to be real for that to happen. Good luck OP.

Graphista · 20/10/2018 16:39

No not the wife but known several people in both the op's and op's wife's position and seen the fallout.

And not bitter or projecting either, I've never had this issue from either side.

I guessed sailor/navy but didn't want to assume necessarily as I've known it be the case also for oil workers and others.

Army brat/ex wife myself, so have friends who are/were navy/navy brats/wives. Also come from a sailing family on one side so got some insight there too. My ex obviously was away at times but I knew and expected that, but he's also been a brat and we both knew that there's certain difficulties to negotiate and we put things in place and did things to handle those. His career was never the problem because we prepared for it and dealt with that aspect - ironically it was fatherhood he struggled with! So no bitterness. I actually loved being an army wife, after being a brat it was what I knew and I still really miss not being in that life. But I have seen many couples not deal with this type of career/lifestyle well.

Personally I don't think sailing is a career well suited to family life UNLESS a real effort is possible to be made both in communication and understanding how the other parties in the situation are feeling - which is rare.

"Our dream was always a house in the country with a few acres." You say 'our' but you (plural) must have realised that with your job the vast bulk of the work would be left to your wife. That's something that really should have been left until your retirement if ever.

Reading all that went on, there are several decisions that seem to me not to have been the wisest. Given you were likely to be away frequently and for long periods. And primarily money based.

Yes it's done, can't change the past. But it informs what's going on now. That perspective is needed if you are to possibly find a way out of the current mess.

As I said I don't think the wife is entirely blameless either! Certainly not if she's cheated, and lack of communication from her isn't going to help anything. Even if you do split as co-parents you HAVE to communicate. It doesn't sound like she's doing that. Certainly not effectively.

Weirdly, I can't help but think a bloody good argument might even be good for you guys! Instead of all this unspoken tension which must mean there's an AWFUL atmosphere in your home which your kids WILL be picking up on (have they been told about your wife's health scare?)

Sadly I fear it is too late for you guys - too much resentment has built up and isn't being properly dealt with.

Cancer does often make people re-evaluate but it can't change history. And it doesn't make people change who they fundamentally are.

You talk of all you've tried to repair things, but at what point did you do this? Cos it sounds like it was fairly late on when you had the cancer? How long had you been married by that point? How long had there been obvious problems? Cos I suspect it wasn't until things were at crisis point.

We see this on these boards frequently though, unfortunately, people ignoring the problems initially and really continuing to ignore until there's a crisis, and honestly by that point it's usually too late.

Plus it's hard to really work on a relationship if you're rarely physically together. You talk of your wife not hugging you etc - how tactile were you before that? Plus you CAN'T touch each other when you're miles apart.

"I sent all of my salary home do they could have a good home." As I said on another thread (woman posting with similar attitude) money is less important than love! Than being there fully for your family. Yea we need enough to cover our basic needs but beyond that people really need to consider if what they're doing for money is detrimental to their emotional lives and the lives of their loved ones.

I've seen this in my own family. 2 relatives who were in high flying careers, earning well, and focuses on that... But now retired and wondering why DC and partners aren't falling over themselves to suddenly spend time with them, wondering why not only they're not close to their families but the families resent them. It's too little too late. They too would say they "did it" for the families but they didn't HAVE to choose the careers they did to provide the necessities for their loved ones and their partners and DC certainly never asked them to. Imo (and I know them quite well) they chose those careers for not just the money, but the status and ego boost! But a career doesn't care about you, it won't keep you warm of a night and it won't care for you emotionally when you're elderly and sick and lonely. One of these relatives their DC during early teens actually said they'd rather they did a less demanding career and were home more, and this plea was dismissed as a "teen tantrum". The relationship between the parent and the now adult DC is now very poor, there are now dgc the parent rarely gets to see and the parent is feeling hurt and rejected - but you reap what you sow!

I stand by what I said about supporting your wife etc. I think you are now realising (and yes hindsight is a bugger!) that you've both simply made poor decisions and not made enough effort in the marriage and dealing with the fallout of that.

Dadaist - I think it out of order to say "don't listen to..." You had no idea why I said what I did. No idea if the experience I have in this type of issue or what I'd witnessed. Disagree with me fine - don't dismiss what I have to say! You don't run this thread!

Lostinuk · 20/10/2018 19:20

@graphista again thanks for your honesty and for others who commented. I’m looking for all input. I’m sure my wife’s opinion is very different. There is to much to write down here. And no matter how honest I am it will always be my opinions.
Yes it went on for to long, but I think I was more unhappy the way things were heading.and you say that I left her with the farm to look after. All she had to do was organise the contractors for the work I would have been doing if I was there. She didn’t drive the tractor around the fields, herd cattle or plant fields. All the work was done by others. That is not to say she wasn’t busy and working hard. She chose to have chickens ducks etc. Pets not farm animals. We have a garden but not self sufficient by any means. We grew huge amounts when I was home before. But that’s because there were two of us. But even then she didn’t like gardening with me. I should have seen the signs then.
But love blinds.
Your right there were problems before. My wife said I changed when I got cancer. For the worse she was saying. My point to her the problems were there before and we ignored them.
My point to her we can’t ignore them any longer. No more rug sweeping.we have problems. Not her or I both of us and us together. She was prepared to carry on and even more recently in separate rooms.
But things accelerated when I returned.
I want happy with the way things were and I could see she wasn’t either. But she didn’t say anything just showed me with her actions. Not spending any time with me.
Avoiding time alone.
If i tried she was to tired. She would tell me she was doing one thing and then i would find out she went out to the pub with her friends.
It got to the point I didn’t believe her and that made her angry.
Lying made me suspicious which made her angry and lie more.
If it’s all my fault why is she angry I went to a solicitor and tried to get us counselling. I’ve been back for over a year and it’s worse. When I said resigning from work she barely talked to me.
I was struggling at work tired passing blood from the treatment. Head aches swelling legs. But I did it for a year to pay for the barn she wanted to build.
But that’s my fault for not standing up for myself. And no I’m not perfect far from it. But I’m trying to be better. But she is not. End of story. How ever I don’t hate her.
I don’t really think she’s horrible.
I just think our relationship went toxic. How can I believe that someone I loved so much for so long is that bad.
I’m really trying to work out home I can be happy and I know I can’t the way things are.
I have a good relationship with my children despite being away for years.

OP posts:
Graphista · 20/10/2018 19:37

"All she had to do was organise the contractors for the work I would have been doing if I was there." Wow! Are you kidding?! Have you even heard of "the mental load"? Have you EVER run the farm, the home and dealt with the DC without your wife for ANY period of time?!!!!!

"All the work was done by others" no it really wasn't! EVERY time someone was off sick, on annual leave, machinery broke or something else unpredictable went wrong SHE had to sort it!

And from

"We were also able to have a new barn built to help us when I stopped working away."

To

"pay for the barn she wanted to build"

"If it’s all my fault why is she angry" seriously?! Even I haven't said its ALL your fault but you're unwilling to bear very much responsibility really and are either unwilling or unable to see things from her perspective!

I think you've been less than honest here about how you really feel and that's not going to get you the right advice.

Lostinuk · 20/10/2018 23:48

Graphista, I’m sorry you haven’t got a clue what we do on our farm. It’s a few acres. There’s no machinery except my tractor which she could have driven if she wanted. There’s nothing to run except a chainsaw which she hasn’t run. And yes I did run the farm before. I planted an acre of potatoes by hand. I tried growing vegetables to sell at farmers markets. I built a poly tunnel and grew food for market. Mostly I did all the manual work, stacked hundreds of bales of hay. Sold and delivered the hay.
Unfortunately with the small amount of land and north east facing hillside I struggled to make a living. And I’m saying I because it was I who did it.
Again I should have realised when she didn’t really want to help me that something was wrong. This was not the lifestyle she wanted. She didn’t want to be be struggling self sufficiency farmers.
She wanted a nicer lifestyle with land. I’m not saying she’s lazy because she’s not. She’s a bloody hard worker but that isn’t what she wants. And I realise that.
We could sell the farm and stop struggling but she doesn’t want that and it’s in both our names. We could have a normal house and no mortgage and a lot less financial stress. But she won’t even talk about it.
When there were problems with paperwork she would call me and I would often have to deal with things while abroad.
While I was away someone would pay us for the grass come in cut, bake and take it away. That’s it. There was no one to be on leave or sick. We did not have employees. We had a part time gardener and a cleaner! FFS.
Sure it was hard for her I’m not doubting that. I’m not saying my life was harder she just did nothing. That’s not the point.
For years I was away for my children’s birthday. Now that’s hard.
I made it home for Xmas but was normally working New Years. We would always FaceTime.
As far as the barn yes it’s confusing. It was her idea to build it for our retirement/future. I was worried about spending all our savings building something that would not produce much income. I had already had my cancer treatment and was going back to work but I was worried about my ability to work. And I was worried about my life. Yes that was me me me. Because me I had the cancer and me I was going away to work. And me I was taking on the debt until me I could pay it off.
But I went along with it. My brain was still in the cancer fog.
The best thing I can think of is an add for Macmillan with a guy in a hospital gown opening a door and stumbling into arctic conditions. This is what it’s like to be told you have cancer.
You have to refocus. Then the drugs and treatment kick in and really mess you up. But I realise this was probably harder for her or at least that’s what you will say.
It was hard to tell our kids. Especially when you yourself don’t know what’s going to happen.

OP posts:
Holdingonbarely · 20/10/2018 23:50

I think getting into an argument with graphista is really getting away from the problem.
Everyone needs to feel loved and supported
And everyone makes sacrifices for family.
It’s whether you you want to make it work together and if you don’t then there isn’t much hope for you

Weenurse · 21/10/2018 00:04

I think it is possible that she got used to running things her way, and had her own routines when you were away.
Now you are back there is someone else to consider.
My husband worked away for a while and I used to resent when he came back as it threw out my routines.
I used to feed children at 6.30 pm and they were in bed by 8.30.
When he came home he insisted on eating at 7. Little things that upset the balance at home.
She is probably used to entertaining herself and now there is you to consider.
Good luck

Lostinuk · 21/10/2018 00:53

Your right I’m sorry no point in arguing with Graphista. I should have argued with my wife. An argument would have been good for us. My real point for posting here was to get an idea what people thought about me waiting to talk about divorce again with my wife and if she doesn’t want to talk should I just file.
I can’t see us reconciling. How can we if we can’t talk about the problems and if we both want different things.
I don’t want anyone else, the real problem for me is living in the house with her wanting affection intimacy and sex but not able to have them. It is just to strange and maddening to become flat mates.
Of course I need to work it out with my wife not posting here. Actually Graphistas comments were very helpful as they are the opposite to mine. Probably similar to my wife’s.
I think the hurt has run to deep for me to just carry on and forget it all.
Maybe if I said let’s forgrt about it all. Draw a line and start again from scratch it would work out. Maybe in a few years we would be close again.
But I feel I would have to just agree to what she wanted to make it work.
It wouldn’t hurt to find out. I haven’t paid enough attention to her feelings nor has she to mine. But maybe if I focused on hers things would get better. She would be happier.
I don’t know. I don’t want a big legal battle. Can’t afford it and don’t want to hurt our kids or us. If we get divorced we need to talk and it should be mutual consent. Through mediation.

OP posts:
sofato5miles · 21/10/2018 01:38

I am sorry your relationship is breaking down but one sentence leapt out for me 'it is both our name's. As you are married, surely it is a joint asset anyway?

Your career and the time you have spent away seems to have irrevocably damaged your relationship. I think Graphista has raised good points about the difficulties that arise from those life choices, though perhaps the details are wrong.

You feel disappointed and unloved, she has become used to living her daily life with you not there. You have lost a connection but can see both sides as to why.

You have to be realistic, becoming disconnected is a direct response of the physical distance between you. If that can be fixed I do not know but it seems she wants to continue her day to day life with you absent ( as you have mostly been).

It looks like your relationship is over but you will both fight over the house. You both need sound legal advise.

sofato5miles · 21/10/2018 01:39

Advice- gah.

Lostinuk · 21/10/2018 08:10

Sorry what does - advice gah mean?

@sofa
I did not choose to start my career at sea again for the careers sake. I did it as a temp fix to get us solvent. The mistake we made was not to move closer to my work so that I could be home more often. This would have been a big upheaval for my wife and kids. We could have rented the farm out, it doesn’t make money it costs money. It is a lifestyle farm not a working farm.
But the problem it was always going to be temporary.
Can’t say I like the sound of “disappointed and unloved” but maybe that’s how it sounds. There is no love in the marriage and I’m not happy with that but I have tried to work it out. Maybe not always in the best way but I’ve tried.
The house of course is in both our names what I meant was that it isn’t something I can change unless we both agree.
I can only change things about me.

OP posts: