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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Childhood sweethearts

26 replies

Tiredandgrumpy123 · 18/10/2018 17:44

I’d like to hear about your first loves and how old you were when you met them? Those childhood sweethearts that you were completely besotted with. Perhaps lost your virginity to.
I have recently reconnected with mine, haven’t spoken to him for 12 years and his mum just passed away which I heard about and that made me reach out to him.
It’s been lovely catching up, seeing what sort of man he’s grown into and how he’s done with his life. It just got me wondering about other people’s first experiences of young love xx

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Gherkin91 · 18/10/2018 17:55

15, he was 16. Met through my cousin, he was a friend of hers.

We were each other’s first but he was clearly a lot more into our relationship than I was... Well, it isn’t until now, looking back, I realise what a lovely person he was. Probably too good for me at the time.

I wish I could connect with him and tell him that, I wish I could apologise for how things ended between us.

Everything happens for a reason, I suppose. I just hope he’s happy now.

Tiredandgrumpy123 · 18/10/2018 18:37

I was 14 and he was 15 when we met, eventually split up after a year and a half. We were Completely and utterly besotted with each other. We were each other’s firsts and generally have no regrets. The only regret I have is being a psycho teenage girl, he dumped me and I literally begged him not to.....how embarrassing 😂 we’ve talked about that this week and both laughed at how stupid we were.

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WasFatNowThin · 18/10/2018 21:42

I was 16, he was 39! Just got back together and had an affair 27 years later. I know exactly why we split though, he's good in bed but really boring otherwise.

Tiredandgrumpy123 · 19/10/2018 06:38

@WasFatNowThin wow that’s some age difference 😱

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booboo24 · 19/10/2018 07:14

Met at 14 at school, we were each other's firsts. We got engaged at 19, married at 21, first baby at 25, second at 30, split up at 36 and divorced by 38!!! He's still a good friend though, we're both happily in relationships but possibly because we grew up together (& the fact we have children together) we've managed to remain friends.

SilverLining10 · 19/10/2018 07:21

WasFat that's actually very disturbing.

Charmatt · 19/10/2018 07:51

We were both 17 and met at college. He was my. I was his second. We got married after 5 years together and have been together ever since. When we met, I never thought we wouldn't be together. He's lovely! We've had some difficult things to deal with - sub fertility, our son was born with LD, ASD, epilepsy, etc, and we had a surprise pregnancy, resulting in a healthy daughter, but we have always been there for each other and I love him to bits!

Charmatt · 19/10/2018 07:52

*He was my first and only.

RickOShay · 19/10/2018 07:54

I actually dreamt about him last night Grin
We were both 14, it lasted several years, I adored him. Took me a long time to get over him. Still in my head now.

notacooldad · 19/10/2018 08:07

I was 16, he was 39!

WasFat that's actually very disturbing

Same age gap as my nana and grandad.
My grandad died very suddenly of a heartache and nan was utterly heartbroken. She died unexpectedly 6 months later. She had been a healthy woman but it was like she had just given up,

There is a similar gap between my sister and her husband. She is 42 and he is 70 in November. They have been married 15 years and have a very nice life together.

Tiredandgrumpy123 · 19/10/2018 08:32

I think those age gaps are very different in later life but at 16 you are still a child and it’s very worrying that a 39year old had a relationship with a 16 year old.
I certainly wouldn’t like my sister who is 16 to bring home a fully grown man as her boyfriend

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notacooldad · 19/10/2018 10:32

tiredandgrumoy
Who said anything about those people got together later in life?
My nan was married at 16 and my sister met her husband when she was 17 and lived with him although didn't marry until she was about 27.

TheMagicTorch · 19/10/2018 10:41

I didn't have a "proper" boyfriend until I was 17 going on 18. I met my first love C (he was at college - 18 and I was in Sixth Form). We were besotted, totally in love. I didn't drive yet so had to travel on 2 different buses for over an hour and a half to see each other.

He was my 'first', bought our first home together, and planned to have a family. We had 9 years together, until I was 27 and he was 28 when he was killed suddenly in a car accident. Our little house was on the market and we were making plans for the future, I was devastated.

I am in a very happy relationship now and pregnant with my first baby but I'll never feel for anyone what I felt for him. (Sorry to bring the tone down - the point was we had a very happy almost decade together after getting together so young)

Sunshineandflipflops · 19/10/2018 10:41

We met when I was 16, he was 17. We weren't each other's 'firsts' but he was the first person I fell in love with and I fell with everything I had. We were together for just over 2 years then broke up as we were still just kids really. 3 years later after I'd been to uni and returned home, we randomly met up again in a bar. He was engaged to someone else but told me he'd never stopped loving me and wasn't happy, etc. We got together ( he ended his engagement), got married a few years later, had two children and 13 years after we got married, last December, I found out he was having an affair and our marriage ended. We are both now 40 so it has been him for 24 years of my life.
I thought we were made for each other and I've never loved anyone like I loved him and don't think I ever will. I loved him from the first moment I saw him at 16 years old but I guess ultimately he didn't love me enough. My 'first love' story is quite sad really but lots of happy times in there too.

Charmatt · 19/10/2018 10:44

TheMagicTorch
I'm so sorry that you lost your love so tragically. You must really treasure the memories and love you have for him. I'm glad you are happy now, but totally understand how you must feel about your first partner. Flowers

NewLevelsOfTiredness · 19/10/2018 10:46

I married the girl I got with when we were both 16 when we were 21. We were separated by the time we were 23 - very much her decision. Three months later she 'suddenly' fell in love with one of my friends who she'd been mysteriously close to for the last few months we were together.

BUT...

We were so young. We both changed a lot through university. She was a shit wife given the whole EA (at least) aspect but a wonderful person in most other ways. And really splitting was the best thing for us. I have had a much better life as a result.

We kept in touch, vaguely, just the odd cheerful message every few months or so.

My girlfriend is pregnant with my first child (she has two awesome girls already) and after seeing the announcement on FB, my ex messaged to say she was expecting too - our babies are both due next April! Oh, and it's with the guy she left me for 15 years ago - at least she ditched me for something worthwhile that endured! :)

Sunshineandflipflops · 19/10/2018 10:48

My post crossed with @TheMagicTorch. I am so sorry for what happened to you and I know things could have been worse for me.

TheMagicTorch · 19/10/2018 10:58

@Charmatt Thank you so much. It was awful, and it took me a lot to get through the dark days but I can remember him with love and laughter now, and will always treasure our memories together.

Luckily my partner is so so understanding, and I can talk freely about my past.

Sparklyshoes16 · 19/10/2018 11:27

I was in Y8 (12) he was in Y10 (15) we kept it a secret as my Dad would have buried him. We used to hang out in a big group, walk to School together and give each other the odd glance/smile when no one was looking.

We used to meet up at the park after he'd finished playing football lay on the grass and talk for hours about everything, he'd buy me an ice cream from his pocket money! Our big date was saving up pocket money to go to the next town to go to the cinema and Pizza Hut, we had our first kiss on the bus back home  All very innocent and sweet he'd ask first is it alright if I kiss you?

My friend found out when I brushed past him in the hallway of our school and we did our secret or not so secret smile, she was brilliant and didn't tell anybody, we had the best giggles in her bedroom talking about him and getting married.

My other so called friend liked this boy too and found out when we had a sleepover...she pretended she wouldn't say anything and at 12 you think when you do the pinky swear it means something  knowing what my Dad was like she told her dad who worked with my Dad I'd got a boyfriend (gave him all the details) my Dad went ballistic grounded me for what felt like a lifetime and went to find him playing footie...grabbed him by the scruff of the neck, shook him about and warned him off...my brothers didn't speak to him for ages and I didn't speak to my other friend! Very awkward in school as EVERYONE knew including the teachers!

I bumped into him a while ago at Tesco's with his family (recently moved back into the area) and I was with my husband...we sat down in the cafe and told the story and all of us were laughing it was really lovely to see how both of us are really happy in our marriages...he asked about my Dad and if he still has a hot temper I said yes but his grand children from my sister have to put up with that 'protectiveness' now!

winterhappiness · 19/10/2018 11:45

Met when we were 7. Started dating when we were 13. Were each others first (and only). Been together almost 12 years now. Married just over 1 year. Couldn't be happier. 😊

He's my best friend. There were moments when we were older teenagers that were a bit shakey. But we pulled through. I definitely understand how some childhood sweethearts grow apart. We have been lucky that as we grew as people , we grew together and in the same direction.

Tiredandgrumpy123 · 19/10/2018 11:56

@TheMagicTorch I’m so sorry to hear that :( what a really traumatising experience for you. However you have those lovely memories of him and it’s gfrat that your partner now is understanding 😊 xx

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Trinity66 · 19/10/2018 11:57

I was 16, he was 39! Just got back together and had an affair 27 years later. I know exactly why we split though, he's good in bed but really boring otherwise.

That's pretty grim, infact he'd be arrested for that over here (Ireland)

Tiredandgrumpy123 · 19/10/2018 12:00

Even the more unhappy endings of these stories still have lots of love in them 😊 that was really the whole point of this post to hear other people’s experiences. There’s so much hate in the world it’s good to hear about to love every now and then ❤️

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notacooldad · 19/10/2018 12:16

I lost touch with my first love but reconnected several years ago on Fb as their name came up as a suggested friend. We have loads of friends in common but both of us moved away. Fist love moved to Florida and has a lovely family and I went to the North Est of England.
I love seeing the FB updates and posts but I'm not wistfull or anything. I am a huge believer that we are on a life journey that will meander and we will do what we are meant to do.

pumpastrotter · 19/10/2018 12:55

We were both 14, together 2 years. I actually fancied his friend but my best friend fancied him too so asked ex out for me instead. Each others firsts etc... He was actually quite vile! He cheated on me and constantly put me down, I'm mortified at how I responded, lots of crying and begging to be together. We thankfully broke up buthe harassed me, my family and my boyfriends for years after. He tried to claim my eldest DC was his (we hadn't seen each other for years at this point) has portrait tattoos of murderers and is obsessed with a certain rapist/serial killer.....young love, eh Hmm Definitely a bullet dodged!