I have been married for over 3O years. I discovered messages to another female including "miss you so much xxx" and several heart emojis., also a message hoping they can meet up soon. There were also many "are you there?" messages which clearly must have then been followed by a phone conversation as she says "yes" or "thumbs up".
In addition there were messages to another female (early 20s) whom he has met for a drink to support her in a new work venture including "you're such a lovely person" "you're worth it" and " thank you for a lovely evening" (no kisses here) - I find this a bit lechy/leery.
He denies any physical affair with the first woman. Initially said he was "just being nice" and then admitted he "confided in her" and they meet up for a drink after work sometimes. He has been protective of his phone for months and I now know he was speaking to the first woman in the summer when I asked to borrow his phone to make a call and he snatched it off me immediately afterwards. He has now cut off contact with her and vice versa.
I also discovered two of his "blue pills" missing in the summer - he said he had been using them "himself" to see if they worked. We have zero sex life and he got the pills to help with this - but we've not used them together.
He has worked away from home in the week for the last 10 years, whilst I am at home, also working and with two children (late teens now).
Your thoughts and advice please guys. Thank you x