What is wrong with me?

[Swearymum83]

Since moving interstate almost 3 years ago I haven't kept even one friend. They seem to just stop bothering or don't bother at all and I'm left to make the effort if there's to be any friendship at all. This has happened to me all my life! I have some close childhood friendships but we love all over the place so only communicate via phone.

I keep trying to work out where I am going wrong all the time?? Wracking my brain with the question. I mean, I am a Sagittarius/ a fire sign, I am pretty straight forward (but toned it down a hell of a lot since my younger years) but I do make an effort, I do my best to be polite and kind and understanding. At least I think I do, but it isn't enough apparently..

I think people are just wrapped up in their own lives, I don't imagine it's you that is the problem. Lots of people just won't put the effort in. Don't blame yourself. x

Sorry to hear you're feeling like this op. I think pp is right that people are just busy with their own lives. Have you made friends in your new city?

I moved 6 years ago and like yourself found it difficult to stay friends with people due to them not really making an effort e.g me always messaging them first or trying to make plans to meet up. Used to make me wonder where I’m going wrong, but as pp said, it is probably that and I’ve started trying to be honest.
Good job I like my only company

*own

People are busy, and it takes time and common interests to make friends.

Try taking up sociable new hobbies, ones where there are already naturally lots of people going. Stick at them, be warm and friendly to everybody, avoid getting into gossip about anybody else. X

Thanks women, I appreciate your replies. :-) It's so much harder to make friends in your 30's. I'll just keep putting myself out there and see what happens.

It's got nothing to do with star signs. People are bone lazy and antisocial. If you don't believe me, read this thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/3398026-Uncomfortable-realisations-about-yourself

I have always had to make 80% of the effort in all my friendships, such as making first moves to be friendly, planning activities, travelling to people's houses, listening to them bang on about their problems (apart from with Spanish people interestingly, who are wonderful and proactive at friendship). And about every 2 years I realise everyone has buggered off or lost interest in me despite my efforts, and I have to find new ones. I am not even shy and retiring, but massively sociable and outgoing. It's very very wearing unfortunately. Sorry to be negative but I have come to accept it. It's either that or move to a Latin country.

Thanks :-) I feared this was the case too. I'm very social and outgoing as well and feel like too many people are relying on 'introversion' and social media to avoid having to talk to people in person. It's really draining and some days I feel deep desperation and loneliness from it. Some days I wish the internet just disappeared so people would be forced to actually look at people face to face again. 😮

I sometimes find myself talking to drs or service people for a bit longer than normal just to get some adult conversation lol. Thanks for your post, it was refreshing to read.

That thread is depressing. Women are so self critical, but I do the same thing! I wish we had communities again where people got together and supported each other. Anyway! Dreams are free as my partner says lol.

Amazing the sheer number of people who admit to being antisocial and ditching friends for little reason more than being lazy. I talk for ages to people in the coffee shop and supermarket, nail bar, you name it. I probably drive people mad, but I live on my own so I have to. I quite often go to classical music concerts on my own too, as I don't know anyone else that likes them. How sad!

If you want to PM me feel free xx

Thank you! But, um.. how do I do that? Haha.