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Original poster

Hypothetical affair - would you?

43 replies

supercatspeed · 12/10/2018 18:48

I am curious to know, and this is purely hypothetical, if you could have an affair and your partner/the other person's partner would definitely never find out, would you?

OP posts:
Pixel99 · 12/10/2018 18:52

No - it would still be a betrayal. It would eat away at me.

pugalugs90 · 12/10/2018 18:53

I couldn't I'm dog poop at lieing and confess to everything within 30 seconds

ScreamingValenta · 12/10/2018 18:54

No - I don't see the point. If I wanted to be with someone other than my husband, I'd be open about it and say I wanted to leave him, and I'd expect the other person to do the same with their partner, before we got together. Sneaking around, even with a guarantee you wouldn't be 'caught' would be a horrible thing to do.

Santaclarita · 12/10/2018 19:01

No. You clearly don't love the other person if you want someone else. Having a crush is one thing, but wanting to act on it and doing so is another.

VirtuallyConfused · 12/10/2018 19:03

Yes

richdeniro · 12/10/2018 19:05

No it shows a lack of empathy, kindness and shared desire to make each other happy. What would be the point of being in a relationship if you were prepared to do it? It obviously shows you would have no respect or regard for your partners feelings.

ComtesseDeSpair · 12/10/2018 19:07

Yes, I think so. I’ve never been unfaithful but suspect I have the capacity to be.

Andromeida59 · 12/10/2018 19:07

No. I couldn't do it to him. Even if no-one knew. I would and it would destroy me.

Pretendingtobe · 12/10/2018 19:09

No.
How do people keep up with their own lies?
How do people manage to keep love alive, whilst banging someone else?
Just no.

ComtesseDeSpair · 12/10/2018 19:10

(However, I’m talking from the perspective of not having one particular partner currently. Maybe I’d feel differently if I loved somebody and didn’t want to betray them.)

Robin2323 · 12/10/2018 19:10

No
That's why I married my partner.

If he couldn't satisfy me in every way :
Emotionally , physically etc and bf my best friend I wouldn't have bothered lol

Original poster
supercatspeed · 12/10/2018 19:10

I'm 95% sure I wouldn't because I am also a rubbish liar and would bound to be found out, but in the heat of the moment I couldn't guarantee it. It's interesting to hear what others think...

OP posts:
BitchQueen90 · 12/10/2018 19:10

No.

If I felt the need to have an affair there's clearly something wrong in the relationship that needs addressing. I'd either work things through with my partner or leave. Never an affair.

PetuliaBlavatsky · 12/10/2018 19:11

No of course not. I respect my DH.

ElectricMonkey · 12/10/2018 19:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MysteriousQuinn · 12/10/2018 19:15

Now? No
In the past when I have been unhappy in my relationship I would have said yes.

apintofharpandapacketofdates · 12/10/2018 19:43

Possibly. I had a dreadful marriage. It never occurred to me to have a fling, exit or otherwise, however part of me wishes I did.

I wouldn't have lost so much of myself, felt so ugly, pointless and utterly rejected otherwise.

My hang ups are now pretty monumental and I can't see me ever bring the sexual person I know I can be (if that makes any sense )

AhAgain · 12/10/2018 20:32

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

subspace · 12/10/2018 20:36

No.

I'd still have to live with myself.

mindutopia · 12/10/2018 20:39

No, definitely not. I love my dh and the thought of being with anyone else grosses me out. I’m happy with things exactly how they are and I’m lucky to have found someone wonderful enough, even after all these years, that would be hard to be topped by some random.

NorthEndGal · 12/10/2018 20:43

No.
Married 20 years, there is no one else who could know my body so well. There is no one else who knows me so well.

PlinkPlink · 12/10/2018 21:14

No. Never met anyone like my OH. Couldn't hurt him either. It'd break my heart to hurt him.

NotTheFordType · 12/10/2018 21:21

Yes, obviously.
Although I am now out as non-monogamous and disclose to all potential partners that I'll be fucking multiple others.

Spankyoumuchly · 12/10/2018 21:25

Nope. The only man I want to be with in real life is dh. Although I'm guilty of having a daydream about Don Draper.

Idontbelieveinthemoon · 12/10/2018 21:56

No. I just don't feel sexually attracted in 'that' way to anyone but DH. It's not perfect; marriage never is, but cheating simply isn't an option I'd take no matter the circumstances.

I feel very strongly that now that we have DC it would be even worse to cheat because it wouldn't just be cheating on DH, it would be cheating on the children's security and happiness. There's no man on earth I'd chance that on.