What's wrong with people?!

[Newbabies15]

There's a group of 6 girls and we have a whats app group. We know each other since university. I'd say I'm friends with two of them and one of them is ok. We knew each other from school though.

One of the ladies I'm friends with asks us to do things as a group and I'm always nice to the girls I'm not keen on. I find them snobby and narcissistic.

Recently one of the girls I'm not keen on has been sick and I made an effort with her. Asked her how she was regularly, offered help etc. Since having dts she has not once asked how I am or even asked about them!

Thing is she complains constantly and never takes responsibility for her health. I'm sick to death of it and the other girls think I'm cruel - they visit her and ask her how she is and mooch around her stroking her ego.

They're all going on a hen do together that costs £500. I said I wouldn't be going and noone has said a thing. Not even , a sorry you're not coming.

What's wrong with people?!

Um... So there's a group of 6 women of which you are one. Of the other 5, two are friends, one of them is OK. I'm assuming you're not keen on the other 2 and that the one who has been sick is one of those?

You say you don't like her, did nice things for her regardless, then bitch about her because she's not done anything in return.

If the others want to pussyfoot around her THEY CAN. Presumably THEY LIKE HER. Maybe she's picked up on the fact you're not keen on her and this is why she's not done anything for you in return for you "making an effort".

Seriously, why do you hang out with three people you either only think of as "OK" or "not keen on"? It's not surprising you're moaning about them if you don't like them, but then it's self inflicted. Just don't hang out with them any more, just hang out with the two you like.

Or find some new people to hang out with, all of whom you like and whom like you.

Sorry, what's the problem? You didn't want to go to something but you're annoyed that they haven't objected?

I agree it's self inflicted. Im just scared of losing the friends i like. I think its me thats a bitch.

Not that they didnt object but they didnt ask why i couldnt come or just acknowledge it.

they visit her and ask her how she is and mooch around her stroking her ego think about what you're saying, you want what she's getting and maybe that's coming across to them as jealousy or bitterness.

So illnesses are now always self inflicted and they are mean for respecting your decisiOn to not attend the hen do. Oh and there’s no obligation to ask how your children are.

Yeah maybe. But she's such a loser. Sorry but she is . I'd never tell the girls this but she's like "im so amazing i work hard and everything in life is down to me" she needs more help than anyone. I never brag. Maybe i should.

Are you 12?

If my friend declined a £500 hen do I’d assume she either couldn’t afford it or didn’t like the bride enough to spend £500 celebrating with them.

I wouldn’t think she’d thank me for highlighting it either way and questioning her decision. If your babies are very new they probably just assume you don’t want to leave them yet which doesn’t need any discussion really.

If the woman is sufficiently ill that everyone is visiting and offering help I think she can be forgiven for not focusing on your babies (congratulations twins are awesome)

Are you feeling like you aren’t getting enough attention? Did you think they’d all swarm over the babies?

I wouldn't be arsed about you not coming either

Grow up

If she’s a loser then why does she occupy so much of your thoughts?

Just because you don’t like her doesn’t mean the other girls shouldn’t.

Based on your posts I’m not surprised that nobody has questioned why you’re not coming to the hen do, I’m only surprised you were invited.

Oh dear.

You do sound like an immature bitch to be frank. Stroking her ego - naice.

They're probably over the moon you can't make it. Sorry

And have one of these

You don't like these people, but there's nothing wrong with them, as such. It's more like what's wrong with you that you'd rather hang onto people you don't like and be annoyed with them than let it drift?

What's wrong with people?!

Your postings pretty much make it clear that your question should be "What's wrong with me?"

I wondered if someone so self-absorbed was a troll but you have a considerable posting history.

Thank you everyone. Yes I need to let go.

You sound quite similar to the woman you're describing, though, OP.

I often hear people say something along the lines of "I don't like X but she'd never know it, I'm always so nice to her..."

In my experience, X usually does know that you don't like her.

I also feel...I don't know. You should of course be courteous and respectful to people in general. But something really sticks in my craw about making a production of being overly sweet to someone if you can't stand them and are then only going to turn around and complain about them behind their back. If you feel that way about someone you can't avoid, just be civil enough and leave it at that.

They have no obligation to be your friend any more than you are obliged to be theirs. If they are not responding to your well intended actions, stay away on future and find proper friends.

"I'm always nice to the girls I'm not keen on. I find them snobby and narcissistic."

Maybe she's picked up on the fact you don't really like her, and thinks you're not genuinely concerned about her, and more worried about seeming nice (and being fake). Would she call you a friend or a friend of a friend?

You are coming across as jealous OP, sorry but if they like her that's their business, you sound pissed off about that; why did you fake caring when you clearly don't, she probably picked up on that.

You didn't want to go to the £500 hen do but you wanted everyone to ask you why you weren't going and presumably make a lot of "you ok hun?" comments. Why bother with this group when you clearly don't like any of them? I also doubt if you've been as subtle as you think you have about your dislike, and if they seem to be paying you less attention these days you can probably surmise why that is.

Nah I didnt want the ok hun comments. I just think its silly that we have to fork out 500 but it's true they can spend what they like. And they can like who they like. I just find her boastful and dont think shes a good friend but my friends have to find that out for themselves. Because im the one shouting and looking like a cow.

You need a life matey

I wanted them to consider spending less so we could all go - ive just had dts. But as you say they can if they want to its just disapointing but she could be equally disapointed that i dont have 500 to fork out and she doesnt have dts.