I feel insulted

[SnakePit]

My boyfriend constantly seems to insult my house, like he'll come in and say "wow it's tidy" and things like that, he laughs it off and I don't think he realises that it upsets me but surely anyone else would?

A few weeks ago he was rummaging around in the drawer and said "I'm looking for a knife...or should I say i'm looking for a clean knife" I have told him before that I find it a bit insulting but he says I'm being too sensitive.

On sunday he wanted to pour a drink and went into the cupboard, picked up a glass and said "here's a glass...actually you might want to wash it as it's filthy" (it wasn't).

I wouldn't mind but he has told me his own house is a pigsty and he doesn't have kids as an excuse for untidyness.

So am I being too sensitive or is he out of order?

he's out of order.

Is this the only problem you have with him, or does he have a lack of respect for you in other areas of the relationship as well.

what an arsehole.... sorry. Ask him to take his shoes off next time he comes in, cos they're dirty.

he tries to make me look stupid in front of other people too but I sometimes think he says things without thinking.
we were out for a drink with friends a few weeks ago and my friends boyfriend joked about them "getting close" when they got home, my friend joked that she'd just had a baby so her boyfriend laughed and said "always the same excuse" then my boyfriend turned around and said "how do you think I feel, she's had 2" and everyone just looked at him, I felt so stupid and then he made it even worse by saying "am I on the couch tonight by any chance?" etc

Run him a bowl of hot water & give him washing up liquid... let him have a field day with yor cutlery & crockery... wanker!

Sorry... how dare he make comments on the state of your house! Tell him to piss off!

What did he mean by you having 2? [niave emoticon]

those comments are horrible!

What an insensitive b*stard!

Are you a name change SnakePit?

Hmm sounds like he's stuck in a groove with the cleanliness thing and thinks he's being somehow funny. Give us an example of him being kind and sensitive

Why not dump him if he makes you feel like this?

sounds like he's lacking in self confidence, so has to try & make you feel small/inadequate to make himself feel better.

WTF?

He insults you with the comments at home and then tries to make you look stupid in front of others?

Only from what you've said so far I'd say he's either just a really tactless idiot or he's trying to 'break' you.

Desiderata

yes I am a namechanger, only because he's recently started visiting my sites and bringing stuff up that I've said and trying to get me to post follow ups saying how unfair my original posts where or he tries to get me to email the mods to ask for the thread to be deleted, he's not found this one yet and I'd like to keep it that way really. (for obvious reasons!).

Message withdrawn

Tosser. I have a friend who's DH takes great delight in treating her like your's does and I'm dying to tell her to stand up for herself. I'll tell you instead
Is he actually nice to you EVER?

God aren't alarm bells ringing, he sounds like a total control freak. He'll be criticising the way you wipe your bum next. Are you seriously happy?

FAR too many apostrophes in that post. Sorry.

I knew it! If he's making you feel this way - say byebye

this sounds actually quite worrying.

He is not only trying to put you down - at home and out, but also control what you say to others about your relationship.

WHat are his good points?

Well, look. Here's the real deal, SP (or LT).

I don't want to offend you, honestly I don't - but this is immature. I don't want to know the ins and outs of your relationship. This is a parenting forum. Relationship threads dealing with affairs, genuine depression, parental problems following divorce/separation, are all very, very OK and appropriate.

But you sound like a 13yo girl. If this man exists, then please, just get rid of him.

He comments on my clothes too, says my new shoes look stupid with my jeans, was very unhappy about me buying 3/4 lengh jeans for summer as he doesn't like them, I bought them anyway and tried them on with a new top, thought they looked great and went to show him and he just looked and said "like I said, I hate 3/4 jeans".
I told him I was thinking of buying some crocs (I know alot of people dislike them but I have dodgy feet and need comfortable shoes) and he said they looked like "special needs shoes" and I could buy some over his dead body, he said it in a joke fashion but as if he meant it too.

At the weekend he also commented that my son looked scruffy because his hair was quite long and his trainers were all marked. I remember when we first got together he went on a campaign to get me to throw out my DS's spiderman shoes as he said they were scruffy, babyish and pikey looking (he was 4 at the time).

He can be nice though, he always tells me how pretty I am and how I don't need to lose weight or anything but then a few breaths later he will say something like "dont take this the wrong way but you have a baby belly, that's all" etc

I think that that is very harsh, Desiderata.

MN deals with all sorts of issues, not all to do with parenting, thank God.

Ooooh dear, he really sounds like he has control issues. You probably know you should kick him out as he's unlikely to change but it's hard isn't it. I went out with someone like that for ages and had no idea what was going on until I had a few weeks to myself and reality dawned. It's really hard though.

Bin him - think about your son fgs. What is he going to be learning from this idiot (and I hope he reads this!)?

Snakepit, does he make you happy at all? have you ever told him how you feel when he makes these comments?
He sounds exceptionally immature tbh