Getting back together with ex husband - experiences?

[PleaseDontSquishMe]

I am wondering whether anyone has experience with this? Good or bad. I am finding it hard to talk to anyone in real life as they are very quick to dismiss it and put me into a victim role, which I know is not true.

Background: For the last 6 months I have been back in contact with ex husband. Divorced just over a year, no children. We both had a short relationship since then and I’m dating causally but my heart’s not in it, both single at the moment. I’m 36.

We were married for 4 years, together for 13. We hit a stage where we started to not cope anymore with everything life threw at us, and it was a lot. We got pulled into all sorts of directions and lost us in all this. Horrendous arguments, selfish decisions on both sides, and in the end he left as he didn’t feel he could continue the way we were and we couldn’t sort it with everything that was going on. I was devastated but to be honest it wasn’t sustainable but I always hoped we could pull through.

We both admitted that we still have feelings, we both have had counselling for us, and we are at the stage where we either have to cut contact completely or see whether there is a way. We both know it wouldn’t be a ‘getting back together’ but starting new again. We both know that it would be hard work and might not have a happy end.

I don’t know what to do and am all over the place. I do love him but I’m not sure whether this is enough.

Thank you.

[Itsally]

Hi there! I know you posted this a few years ago but I'm in a similar situation and wonder if you did decide to get back together. And what happened? @PleaseDontSquishMe

[Babbo65]

Similar situation where I didn’t want the split but he did. When he started making noises about trying again I was over the moon as I still loved him. However it was never the same and we split 2 years later. Personally speaking and from my experience, I wouldn’t.

[Babbo65]

Oh just realised Zombie thread.

[PicsInRed]

Was there anyone else involved in the break up?

Did his behaviour towards you make you unhappy?

[PicsInRed]

🧟‍♀️ 🙄

[Wanderlusto]

Wtf would you spend all the money getting divorced and go through all the agro of getting past being broken up with, only to go back there again?

Honestly op, dont go there. It might be ok for a bit but then the old problems would resurface.

Draw a line under it. Cut contact and onwards and upwards.

[AliceMcK]

I think you both sound very sensible, you obviously have a lot of history and admit your own faults, plus have had counselling. I think only you can make the decision whether you try again. I’d do what’s best for you, not just to please others. Good luck.

[GreatExpectationalized]

Why would you want to go back to a situation that has already been proven to cause you heartache and pain when there is a world of infinite possibilities out there?

It takes some time to recover from a relationship, and the temptation of returning to the familiar, no matter how uncomfortable, can linger. You haven't given yourself a decent chance to have a go at a new life, free and healed from your past.