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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I recently had a very emotionally intense encounter, and I feel so guilty

81 replies

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 13/06/2007 10:41

It was incredible, and stirred feelings in me that I haven't experienced for a long long time.
I have a very happy relationship and a beautiful family and would never ever betray them, but I feel guilty that this short encounter has affected me so much.

OP posts:
ThomCat · 13/06/2007 11:25

LOL Hockeypuck!

Budababe · 13/06/2007 11:27

Had an emotionally intense night on an flight from Asia to Europe once. Sitting with a guy in business class and started chatting and drinking G&Ts, lights down low, under blankets. Absolutely NOTHING physical but it was very intense - both shared some deeply personal stuff. Was more emotionally open with him than I have ever been with DH.

Have never seen him again.

I would't beat yourself up too much UNLESS you are tempted to try to contact him? As others have said - sounds like a lovely encounter. One that we don't often have. Hug it to yourself and enjoy the memory.

Thread hijack - Hi TC - haven't seen you about for AGES! Was wondering how you were.

ThomCat · 13/06/2007 11:28

(Buda - hello you gorgeous girl, XXXXX )

warthog · 13/06/2007 11:32

it sounds amazing! i'd treasure it as one of those 'magic' moments in your life. you don't have to share it. it's yours.

Budababe · 13/06/2007 11:32

(Looks around nervously)

Can you see me?

Obv not as am SO not gorgeous! But thank you anyway my lovely!

So - how many weeks are you now? How is Lottie's walking coming along?

Original poster
TheDevilWearsPrimark · 13/06/2007 11:34

I agree with you all.
I have had things like this bedfore though. Sometimes even when DP was around and didn't mind as he said 'I'm the one going home with you to our beautiful children'.
Likewise, he has had encounters like this, I mean what couple doesn't?
This time is just different though. It wouldn't ever affect me so much before, but this really has.
DP didn't even question why I got home at 6.30 am, bless him. He trusts me.

OP posts:
Anna8888 · 13/06/2007 11:34

Budababe - I've had those opening-up-to-strangers in the proximity and anonymous no-man's land of aeroplanes... I think it's a classic.

I do know someone who met her husband that way . And I once spent a wonderful fortnight with someone I met on the plane... (in the very dim distant past).

Carmenere · 13/06/2007 11:36

God yes don't beat yourself up. Recently dp had a friend to stay unexpectedly, I had a few days off work and so spent it with him as dp was busy. We got on like a house on fire, he spoke to me as if I was an interesting/desirable person who he enjoyed being with. Not sleazy at all and he has a wife but there were one or two moments where the eyes caught just a nano-second too long iykwim.

I have walked taller since that week, he has given me back a bit of oomph I lost, not that dp doesn't fancy me he does but just I felt shit about myself and spending time with him made me feel just a bit more confident.

Dp is also being MUCH nicer to me and I would not be at all suprised if his mate had told him to buck up.

these things, as long as they are not persued are defintely good for us.

Budababe · 13/06/2007 11:38

Hi Anna - yes am sure it is pretty classic - lets face it we are thousands of feet above the ground in our own little bubble as it were. It was lovely.

Hope yours was too! Must have been to last 2 weeks!

Anna8888 · 13/06/2007 11:40

Budababe - yes, in a bubble away from the real world, totally devoid of all responsibility . One of the best getaways I can think of.

Yes, the fortnight was just wonderful... and I never saw him again...

binkleandflip · 13/06/2007 11:40

I once had an intensly emotional moment in Turkey - but it was a connection with a child, not a bloke. I saw her walking through a marketplace with her mum - she was beautiful (as all children are) but more than that she was almost efferverscent. Anyway, as she passed we caught each others eye and I turned to look back as she did and she gave me the most beautiful shy but glowy smile I have ever seen. I promptly burst into big fat tears - it was like being touched by an angel (if you believe all that) and my boyfriend at the time thought I was crackers - this was before I'd had a child so no excuse for being over-emotional! I dont know it just touched me!

Have also had magic, mythical moments with strange men too - not generally while sober though - but I concur with the post that they will all leave undies on the floor etc etc..

ThomCat · 13/06/2007 11:41

Ok well sorry this has affected you, or I think I am. But there's nothing going to come of it. So you'll have to put it down to the best moment ever and just enjoy it for what it was. Your husband trusts you bacuase he has no reason not to. You haven't done anything.

Buyda - your beautiful to me, a gorgeous, person Lottie great, a massive handful but walkign well, still bubafrankenstein in her style but getting really fast. Streams ahead shouting over her shoulder 'come on follow me'! SORRY FOR HIJACK EVERYONE ELSE!

lou33 · 13/06/2007 11:47

ooh something similar happened to me once, over 20 yrs ago now, it was around the same area as well

i still remember it and it makes me smile

Original poster
TheDevilWearsPrimark · 13/06/2007 11:55

I can totally understand the plane encounters!

I actually still speak on the phone to a lovely old lady from Glasgow who helped me out on a flight from Budapest to Heathrow. I was alone with 2 month old DS and he was being a nightmare, she really helped me out and we chatted for ages, then went for a meal together when we landed.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheDevilWearsPrimark · 13/06/2007 11:55

lou33, what happened, or is it just a private and personal memory?

OP posts:
TheDaVinciCod · 13/06/2007 11:57

devil i rekcon hes an old hand at it
i ma sure oyu are gorgeous btu it does soudn s little contrived..................

expatinscotland · 13/06/2007 11:58

Did he just whip out a guitar?

Cool!

I've never had an 'encounter' like that that didn't involve shagging them in the end.

But then, I'm a 'ho.

TheDaVinciCod · 13/06/2007 11:59

you see the whippign otu the guitar
VERy odd

it hink he dos it a LOT

expatinscotland · 13/06/2007 12:00

Yeah, I'd have taken that as his pulling tool, cod, myself.

Fair enough if you're single and free to go for it.

I mean, you never know who you'll meet in a taxi rank, bus shelter , airport queue, etc.

Original poster
TheDevilWearsPrimark · 13/06/2007 12:00

Probably Cod.
But I did have to beg him to sing for me. And he was drinking a can on the street, and he did a piss on the street, which, if it was my DP did I would kick his ass.

OP posts:
TheDaVinciCod · 13/06/2007 12:01

oh
hte piss has made him become disgusting

no sorry oyu were another nothc imfo

warthog · 13/06/2007 12:01

come on - let's not ruin it for her.

Original poster
TheDevilWearsPrimark · 13/06/2007 12:02

So not quite movie perfect, but I ignored those bits, lol

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 13/06/2007 12:02

He whipped it out in the street to have a slash?!

Oh, MAJOR buzzkill.

TheDaVinciCod · 13/06/2007 12:02

THATS THE POINT

you ignored th fact tha he probaly hasskid marks on his pants

he wa some drunk odl student who strummed a guitar. [pissed ont he floor