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I'm shaking and bruised and more than a bit shocked. My husband just yelled at me to get out of the car. I refused so he stopped the car and dragged me out. My ankle is grazed, my elbow is grazed. He just did that and left me there in broad daylight. I walked home (only 10 mins). A kind couple saw what happened and checked I was ok.

I have been a total winge bag today I do know that. I'm knackered and under the weather and probably took that out on him. But still. He's never done anything as physical as that before. He does lose his temper occasionally and is a real shouter - properly sees red. Doors slammed, stuff chucked about sometimes. We were having a disagreement. I'm sure he felt I wasn't understanding his point of view. I don't feel like e was hearing what I was saying at all and he kept talking then shouting over me.

I'm home, he's calm -just said please can I talk to you. I'm still crying. I said no and yelled for him to go away.

What on earth do I do.

But how on earth can someone who is supposed to love me do that?

But I don't know what to do. How can I do nothing. My daughter was in the car. She's 18 months. I have a 4 year old son. I have to set an example.

I'm very worried by the way you talk about yourself; from that I assume he has been abusive for a long time, even if you didn't see it? You can't have children in the house with a man who drags you out of a car.

Tell your parents, ring Women's Aid, get the kids away from him till you can make other arrangements but get away from him.

Would you accept this behaviour from a stranger?

Would you be ok if someone did this to your DC?

If either of those scenarios happened would you contact the police? If the answer is yes, then maybe you should consider the same about this instance.

There’s absolutely no reason for your dh to physically abuse you, and YES he has just physically ABUSED you.

If your dh reads this - you’re an abusive twat!!

Show him this thread OP.

I'm going to. Once I'm feeling a bit calmer.
Thank you all. Honestly thank you.

Hi adviceadviceadvice,

We can see you're getting some good advice and support here on your thread but we just thought we'd add a link to our domestic violence webguide. There are lots of organisations listed on it that can offer you real life support too.

A good starting point would be Women's Aid - they have a free helpline (run in partnership with Refuge) that's open 24 hours a day - 0808 2000 247. Please think about getting in touch - we know they've helped many, many Mumsnetters.

Sending good wishes - we really hope you're okay.

Thank you

Please don't show him the thread, OP. This is your safe space. Please take care.

I grew up with a Dad like this. This is where it starts........ Next I was witnessing my Dad pouring boiling hot water all over my Mum and trying to throw her out of a first floor window.

Then he turned on me...

EVERYONE who knew him would've sworn up & down that he wasn't capable. In fact many did when I cried for help. One friend's Mum won't speak to me to this very day as she believes I was lying when I ran round their house begging for help once after another beating.

My Mum minimised and still now says, when I ask why she didn't leave: "It just wasn't the done thing in those days, to leave" or "With what? Was stuck in a mortgage"

Please don't put your kids through what I went through....

Adora10 - I can only think you said that as you believed it would help but if OP does show her abusive DH this thread then things might escalate very badly, very quickly. Please don't ever say that to anyone again in these terrible circumstances.

There's absolutely no excuse for it. No matter how much of a nightmare you were...he should have driven home and got out of the car himself.

I'd leave and stay with family for a few days and get some space...or go to a hotel.

Oh OP

As I read through your post I see you go from what I think is disbelief to denial to shock and then realisation.
For your sake and your DCs I hope your next phase is action.

Nobody should be dragged out of a car and assaulted and nobody has the 'right' to do it to you.

If you really were being a nightmare and what constitutes a nightmare anyway? OP.
A reasonable person getting wound up by someone else could have driven you the 10 minutes home, then they could have:

• tried to speak to you calmly.
• gone into a room in your home to stay out of your way.
• gone for a drive to calm down.
• gone for a walk.

And any number of other things.

It is very difficult to do but it is best if you speak to the Police in order to protect you and your DCs.
Once violence starts it will happen again.
The Police will be sympathetic.

Sending you best wishes and strength, keep posting if it helps.
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