Ghastly remark: bin him off?

[LanaorAna2]

My mate has just rung me in a quiver re her BF. You be the judge about what he said.

He rolled up at 8am after a night shift, very keen to see her. She ran him a bath. While she was sweetly washing his back, he said:

BF: This is great - you wouldn't get this service at No 2.
No 2 is the local brothel

Mate, in dismay: Er, what?

BF: Don't be upset - I said it's great, I said you wouldn't get this service at No 2.

Bin him off? You decide, I can't decide what to suggest.

She should meet him to dump him and squeeze his testicles as her parting shot.

This!

Bin him (assuming the bins are not full with dog poo bags - another thread )

She should bin the tosser after squeezing his balls very hard.

Start as you mean to go...
This is who he is.

If she is questioning this behavior then it is a red flag. She should definitely go with her gut- it is not appropriate whether or not she can find the specific vocabulary to enunciate why.

She should end it - and not look back. No need to second guess this one.

Bin for the boob thing.

My husband grabs mine too. It is not weird between consenting adults in a relationship if shown as a sign of affection.

The comment was a joke.

If your friend does not like either of these things she is not in the right relationship and should finish it. She clearly doesn't otherwise she wouldn't even be mentioning it to you.

He rolled up at 8am after a night shift, very keen to see her.

I've not seen this picked up on yet. It reads to me like she wasn't expecting him. Who the hell just rocks up on spec at 8'oclock in the morning? That and the sexual assault in the corridor pretty much should tell anyone all they need to know. He's an entitled, sexist prick. Bin, bin and then bin some more is my vote.

I used to pick iron skelfs out of a BF's back. He couldn't reach.

The comment and the groping aren't especially funny or clever, but not necessarily a dumping offence as stand-alone things. If other behaviours suggest he's potentially abusive, a rampant sexist or just really stupid, then maybe. If she's run it past you, though I suspect she has serious concerns about him.

I'd be considering binning him off. Sounds like he's very excited at the idea of having an on-tap free prostitute, the pushing hard to move in only strengthens that impression.
If he came home gagging for it and she said "no, I'm not in the mood", how certain is she that he'd immediately stop pushing for any sexual contact? I suspect the answer is "he would almost definitely keep groping me until I gave in".

I’d give him the push for the squeeze alone; the comment about the brothel might just be an unfunny joke but I wouldn’t be hanging around to find out.
(She ran him a bath, and washed his back??)

Yep. Bin if she’s not comfortable. Reminds me of a boyfriend I had when I was 16, very inexperienced, constantly thinking about sex, marvelling in his physical power (relative) over me...would say icky things and once picked me up at the edge of a high wall because he could ‘just for a joke’. He’s grown up now.

My husband grabs mine too. It is not weird between consenting adults in a relationship if shown as a sign of affection.

I don't recall reading posts on any forum by main commenting that their GFs/wives habitually grope their scrotum, it doesn't happen. Men groping their partners has become normalised for a lot of women and really needs to be repositioned as what it is. It's not a sign of affection, it's a show of entitlement and domination mixed in with an extremely immature attitude towards sex and relationships.

He doesn’t sound like my idea of a hot prize.

The boob grab at work is inappropriate and disrespectful at best.

Philomena - slight threadjack, but I had to look up ‘skelf’. How did he get them in his back?

Just sounds like a buffoon to me. I'd bin.

Oh, Jesus, bin. Bin faster than the speed of light.

Knittedfairies he worked for an armourer. He wore a leather apron, but nothing to protect his back. I picked out iron skelfs every night Monday - Friday. There were hundreds!

Sorry for the Scots word, I lived up there for 12 years, and some words have just stuck!

The comment may well have been a bad joke, but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t also visited this place - the two aren’t mutually exclusive!

He sounds like a creep to me, I’d dump.

My husband washes my back, I’ve a physically demanding hobby. I wash his if he’s been doing manual work.

I grope his arse too if he’s in front of me.

However, she’s not comfortable with him doing what he’s doing. There’s no good us comparing our own relationships to hers. If either dh if I felt like a piece of meat rather than a loved, cherished and fancied partner then that’d be a different matter.

I’d dump any guy who touched me intimately in public. He’s marking his territory and he’s a twat.

If she is uncomfortable she should bin him off. Doesn't matter how anybody else feels.