So, here I am, on my phone....asking for advice about the issues this causes in my relationship. My phone use is causing regular arguments between me and DP. I don’t know who is right and who is wrong.
Too often, DP tells me to put my phone away, says he wishes he could throw it out, moves it away if it’s on the sofa or table next to me, asks me what I’m doing on my phone, tells me he feels ignored, if I use my phone when he’s with me and wants / expects attention. This feels controlling, needy and childish to me. He says he feels ignored and that my phone is a time thief, as is most technology in his view.
DP is a technophobe. He has a phobia about smartphones, laptops etc. He hates the internet on balance. He does use them all though, very occasionally socially and daily for work. But nowhere near as I much as I use my phone.
That said, I don’t think I use my phone a ridiculous amount. I’ve read threads on Mumsnet and have wondered how some posters have the time to post as much as they do, for example. I use my phone to look up information, directions, phone numbers I need, to message / WhatsApp friends and family, to make the odd phone call, for online shopping including groceries but and to check Facebook. I don’t use Instagram, Twitter etc.
As an example, just now I went to the loo and ended up taking longer than I thought I would need in there. I was checking my phone on the loo when DP walks in to get something he needs from the bathroom cabinet and asks in a stroppy tone what I’m doing and ‘are you just sitting there on your phone again?!’. I got annoyed. I was simply trying to go iyswim and it was taking longer than I thought (tmi!).
I got angry and it all turned into a row, with me saying he was rude and out of order to just come in and to ask what I’m doing in that tone, and him saying my response was disrespectful and OTT.
Who is right here and what is the solution? Do you have these issues in your relationship?