My lovely Brother

[indigo13]

Hello all, my brother is 32 and anf has almost always been single. I don't know why but he just can't seem to find a girlfriend! In my opinion he is a great catch -he runs his own business, he can turn his hand to anything, own house, so kind and caring, good looking etc. He's an amazing uncle to my children and I know he'd love to have his own. My heart breaks to think of him as lonely as he has said he is.

He works hard but does make time for social things, I just don't get it. He started seeing someone, she moved in but it wasn't going well and he came home from work early to find her moving her stuff out and she hadn't told him. . I could cry thinking about him coming home to that or worse, if he'd not come home early and the house was empty!

There must be some reassuring stories out there or advice?! Please

Maybe he's just a that and you can't see it

I'll have him. You've sold him very well.

I think things happen in their own time.

Ha autocorrected by my tablet

Maybe budgie, but I can definitely see that you're an unhelpful twatopotamus

Yes newstartz but I've been saying 'all in good time' to myself for 14 years...

Where in the world is he? If he's localish to me, I'll go out with him.

How about helping him sign up for a few dating apps? He sounds lovely, as do you so I really wish you both well xx

PS, twatopotamus is my new favourite word.... Sorry budgie lol

he just can't seem to find a girlfriend

Is he actively looking? Tried online dating?

He may never meet the right person by chance and his age should be a gentle nudge to start being a bit more proactive if he’s really serious about settling down. If he runs his own business he must be driven and capable. I remember reading a woman’s story how she turned meeting the right person into a job, and persued it with the same vigour.

He has tried online dating, maybe he needs to persevere with that but it's as I said, it's been years now. He's been pushing forward with some social hobbies for a couple of years, again to no avail.

Thanks he's in the south west of England!

Thank you bumblebee

Could he be gay?

I wondered if he might be gay too.

It's really sad seeing someone you love struggle with this. I'm happily married but my sister hasn't had a huge amount of luck in dating and, like you with your brother, I can't understand it. She's intelligent, funny, good job and quite pretty. Sure she's not perfect but who is?

I've also got a male friend whose the same - on paper he's a "catch" but it just doesn't translate into a successful relationship.

One of my BIL 's is the same, he is very shy, works in a male dominated industry and isn't earning a great deal so I kind of get why he has always been single. But he is kind, works hard, isn't a cock womble like so many blokes on here. He is a fantastic uncle my dc adore him and he would make someone a decent partner and be a great dad. It just seems a waste.

I have a friend exactly like this. One theory is she tries too hard, but I'm unsure about this as I believe the right person is hard to scare away.

Second is that she's done so well at setting herself up alone, it's too difficult for someone to see their place in her life.

Have you ever stopped to consider that your expectations might not be his? Your brother is his own person and clearly he is more than capable of managing his own life. Just love and support him, but stay out of his private affairs.

One of my friends is like this. On paper it makes no sense but after a minor issue escalated once and they acted like an overgrown child and quite mean I suddenly understood

Ironically a lot of women don't really like a man that's too nice (and when they marry them they then come here and wonder why it didn't work?). Perhaps he's just a bit tooooo sweet and it's not appealing. Not to say he should change, he needs to find someone who is as nice as him! Also, maybe he's going for women that aren't very nice. Can you help him choose someone? Or have a look at the type of women he's going for?

This was my DH right until I met him on an old fashioned dating agency at the age of 35. He is quiet in company still.

Introduce him to some of your friends @indigo13

I went out with a guy like this. Never managed to meet anyone and couldn't gold down a relationship despite appearing to be totally lovely. In many ways he was but he was also extremely needy, whiney and had a drink problem. None of which his family knew, I'm guessing only in relationships was it obvious. Even without the drink, the hardiness was a big turn off. Could your brother be coming across as desperate?

Autocorrect! Hold down.
Neediness not hardiness. Ffs.

I really doubt he's gay but thanks for the replies. I get that people can seem great on paper and then not be, but so many people are crap on paper and worse in real life and they have dedicated, long suffering partners!

You only have to read on here to see smelly, lazy, selfish, cheating men still having a woman wanting them, it's everywhere.

So yes maybe he is too nice! I have no suitable/single friends for him, I wish I did. The sad part is that he wants a companion and he doesn't have it

Lucky you billywilliamV

He could be asexual and doesn't want to talk about it?