Does anyone have experience in the court system for DV?

[TheCunkOfPhilomena]

On Wednesday night my now ex partner (a long time alcoholic but had been sober for a while) got very drunk whilst we were having a night away and he refused to let me leave the place where we were staying (by pushing me and restraining me - he didn't hit me) and he smashed up my phone so I couldn't call the police for help.

I managed to escape into the back garden and call to the neighbours for help and they helped me climb over the wall to their garden and called the police.

He was arrested and charged with assault and criminal damage and bailed to appear in court next month as I think he is pleading not guilty (although the police told me he was very sorry and admitted to not letting me leave?).

The police said there is substantial evidence from statements from the neighbours and the remains of my phone but I might have to go to court to give evidence.

Has anyone been through similar before? I am so scared of him getting drunk and coming to find me (I know this is against his bail conditions and have been told to call 999 if he tries anything) and I'm also really scared of having to go to court and speak.

Any advice would be really appreciated.

Hopeful bump?

Last bump, any advice would be really helpful, I'm feeling lost.

Hi OP, so sorry you're going through this. No knowledge myself but bumping in the hopes someone can help.

I can't understand why no one has replied because there are lots of women with experience here, just bad timing. I don't have experience but it seems to me you are in a much better place than many here and don't have to worry. You have outside evidence and the backing of police. Please don't hesitate a second in contacting the police if he contacts you in any way, direct or indirect. I can only see positives in the fact you have split from the volatile entitled man. Good luck

I am so sorry you are going through this. His behaviour was abusive and unacceptable and you have been so brave. Whilst I cannot offer you any personal experience I would recommend you contact Womens Aid who might be able to provide you with advice and guidance.

Thank you Katniss

pog I guess this is just such a horrible feeling and I don't know how to cope with it. I feel on edge all the time, like I'm expecting something bad to happen iyswim? You're right though, I'm in a good position legally, I can't believe he hasn't pleaded guilty. He has contacted my DM to apologise and said he won't be contacting me until after the court appearance, even that makes me feel like vomiting.

Hi, I have no experience as a dv victim but am v experienced as a professional working in this field.

My advice:

Yep, definitely call 999 if he breaches bail conditions. DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES let him in, no matter how sorry/pitiful he is.

You need to speak to the officer in your case (oic). If you don’t know who this is, call 101 to speak to the police force dealing and give them your crime reference number/ log number. Talk to the officer about your concerns. Ask for “special measures” in court. These are measures that help vulnerable and in your case intimidated witnesses give their number evidence in court eg I think you would benefit from giving evidence behind a screen so he can’t watch you. Please note, it’s not the police who grant special measures it’s the court, but police can apply for it.

Ask the police and keep local court whether you have access to an IDVA (independent domestic violence advisor) who can help you through the court process.

If you do nothing else, engage with Women’s Aid, they may be able to assist you with above and offer further support

Well done for reporting him and making the statement.

Right, thank you Wallis, I have spoken to the OIC and have her email address, it's more the psychological stuff I suppose. Half of me wants to stand behind a screen if I have to speak in court (they did ask me after I gave my statement and I said I wasn't sure) and the other half wants to be strong and stop feeling so bloody scared.

I will definitely call Women's Aid, good call.

Also check with the police whether any sort of warning marker has been put on your address re dv. My local force would put a marker on their system for your address for a fast response due to dv issues for example in the case of an abandoned 999 call.

Yes, I think that has happened, he isn't allowed to be in my street at all.

Ah, I’m pleased you are already in contact with your oic. Don’t worry about being strong, that will come in time. You need to give the best evidence you can give and if you are frightened about giving evidence in front of him (understandable) then request a screen.

One last thing. He is probably going not guilty because he is expecting that you will be too frightened/soft to attend court. Many, many people wait to see if the victims/witnesses turn up at court on the day of trial and then put in a late guilty plea. Make sure you go!

God, that's terrible, I will definitely go if I have to. Thank you.

Just to warn you I went through nearly the exact same scenario and my 4 month old baby and 3 year old were in the house distressed and he did hit me, we went to court he got guilty, he appealed and it went to crown and he got off despite witnesses overhearing stuff and previous incidents. It was over about two years of court and I have never felt so let down in all my life. Don’t automatically assume you will get him, I was told it was a done deal but he got off and then all the restraining orders and non molestation orders were cancelled and me and my children were fucked. Don’t want to scare you but the not letting you leave was exactly the same as him and they said that that didn’t come in to it and didn’t consider it

Where are you? (England / Scotland / Wales / Other?). There are organisations. Happy to look one up.

ginger how are you now? That's so bloody scary. Fuck, I am so sorry. Thanks for the heads up, it'd better to have my eyes open to what can happen. Can I ask if there was anything that was helpful? I don't want my DS to know about this so I need to be strong around him and not let him see me scared.

Maderia I'm in England. I'll look at Women's Aid and have been reading some leaflets on a website called Rights Of Women too. I think it's more about how to get through this from a psychological aspect, the prospect of seeing him again, going to court, not knowing what is going to happen and reliving it all is overwhelming.

Hi I’m sorry to scare you, were fine now it was 8 years ago. It was just that I was told by everybody that he would definitely get a guilty verdict and when he appealed which is his automatic right to do we had to wait a year, so two years from the incident and so it was not as raw iykwim. We were already separated before the incident but it was a difficult time. It was just the injustice of it all and I was not prepared for it at all. All I can say is I wish you the best of luck but from what you have said above I wouldn’t think a conviction was a given. They had a recording of me begging him to stop and the children screaming because I tried to ring the police and he took the phone off me and it wasn’t disconnected, I had cuts and bruises. My neighbours saved me because they heard me screaming and even when they came he didn’t immediately let us out. I don’t know how he got off but hey ho. I would say as awful as it is think very very carefully about going down this route. Install to this day have no faith in the court system. I’m sorry

I’m sorry I don’t think I’m being very helpful. I can report my posts and get them removed if you would rather or you good

OP - if you are in the UK contact Witness Services based at the court the case is being heard (the OIC can give you the details).
WS will support you on the day of the trial - stand behind the screen with you if you decide to have special measures, arrange for a back door entrance into the court so you don’t have to bump into him (this is part of special measures for vulnerable and intimidated witnesses) they will sit with you in the witness waiting room and liaise with the court/ prosecution lawyer etc.
You can also visit the court in advance and talk through with someone from WS what will happen on the day, discuss the procedure, go into a court room and discuss what your options are.
WS are independent the courts but they are highly trained to provide emotional and practical support on the day of the trial.

I'm a former criminal defence/ family lawyer.

In a case like yours, where there appears to be a lot of evidence and, if he's admitted stuff to the police, a confession of sorts, it's highly likely that he will eventually plead guilty. At the first court hearing pretty much everyone pleads "not guilty" in order for the defence to have a proper look at the evidence before deciding what to do.

Based on what you've said, his lawyer will most likely be "persuading" him that its in his interest to plead guilty.

He might decide not to, but I think this is unlikely.

If he does decide to plead not guilty then at that point you may be required to give evidence.

I really think that you should pursue this as you have lots of corroborating evidence (neighbours etc.)

I’ve been through this. I finally plucked up the courage to leave my violent alcoholic ex who had been abusing me physically, emotionally, sexually and financially for 3 years. He beat me so badly the night I left I had to flee the house with nothing but the clothes on my back. He was arrested, bailed, found guilty and sent down. The court stuff was one of the most gruelling experiences of my life. It was so, so difficult. But worth it. I was allowed to be behind a screen, the court should allow it if you request it. I know it’s frightening but it’s so worth doing

Thank you for the advice - I'm making notes.

I went out for the first time yesterday on my own since it happened and was sweating as I kept looking for his car everywhere. I need to continue with this, it's so awful to hear what has happened to other women but I really appreciate you taking the time to share what happened.

I agree with both Wallis and Ginger on here....definitely turn up at Court. My ex pleaded not guilty, until I actually turned up on the day, and then he did a swift u-turn, therefore I didn't need to give evidence. However, he got a slap on the wrists and I got a 3 year restraining order against him...which I didn't know I had until I got home and rang the Court. He had previous history of DV and I was told he would get time. ..he didn't, and although initially terrified he would break the RO, he didn't and we've been fine for years now. Good luck lovely

Updating.

I don't have to go to court because he's pleading guilty!

I am so relieved that I slept properly last night for the first time since this happened.

Thank you for all your advice and support on here - I don't know what will happen when he goes to court but he's admitted it and I don't have to go through it all again.