What could go wrong?

[whoopsnamechange]

I've been seeing a guy for a few months. We get on really well, lots of chemistry, he seems lovely and genuine.

He lives in a shared rental house where the contract ends in December.

I'm a single mum, with equity from my divorce. I am buying a house that needs work doing to it.

He has offered/asked to stay in my new house while work is being done, in return for doing some of the work himself (he's very practical and has lots of building and plumbing skills etc)

He hasn't met my kids yet.

One of my friends is advising me to be cautious as I'm a single mum with equity and therefore possibly vulnerable to predatory men or scammers etc.

What could go wrong with this arrangement and what do I need to do to protect myself?

For starters is he a professional tradesman ? It sounds like it's more than a bit oh painting work. I wouldn't have someone who isn't professional with insurance etc doing any works on a property.

Why don't you do a proper rental agreement? At least then if there's any issues you can evict him through proper channels.

If there is no heating etc. then you will feel obliged to have him round your flat a lot when the reality of living in really bad conditions hits him.
Basically you will have moved in with a guy you hardly know.
If things take a turn for the worse in your relationship what if he refuses to move out and demands payment for all the work he's put in.
Once he's moved in, he won't want to move out.

His SEN child is 16, he doesn't have them overnight

I get it, ok, it's a bad idea

Don't be resentful of the answers OP, posters really are protecting your interests. If you decide to go ahead with this arrangement, please be very cautious.

What could go wrong?

Everything.

Everything has some sort of price attached OP. He's asked this for a reason and will have his own best interests at heart.

Don't let that oxytocin rule your head.

I've told him it's a "no"

He was fine about it, thanked me for letting him know so quickly and said he's going to start looking for alternative accommodation

I'll be surprised if this is the last time he raises it. Finding a place to live is very difficult and you have that house sitting there idle after all.

I'll be surprised if this is the last time he raises it. Finding a place to live is very difficult and you have that house sitting there idle after all.

This .....

don't be surprised if he rolls up homeless.... having been unable to find anywhere.... you have been warned..

well his reaction was positive. I'd keep on with the relationship and see how things go. That he let his ex have the house is also a positive imv.

Yes that's positive...for the moment.

Be on your guard for somewhere he'd found 'falling through at the last min I'm really stuck!'

I think it's shocking that he asked you OP!

Why no?

Because he'll move into your house.
Maybe, if you're lucky, do a bit of work (how do you know he can do this work well and you won't spend twice as much getting it fixed after he's done what he can't do)
He doesn't move out
You and your kids (who've never met him) move in
You split and he claims half of your house

If you must go ahead (and only a total fool would) then go to a solicitor and draw up a legal agreement stating that he has no interest in the house, that any work he does will be free and that he will move out when asked to with 2 weeks notice prior to you and your kids moving in.
Change the locks when you move in

If you do later decide to live together make sure you draw up another appropriate legal agreement.

Don't moan about spending a few hundred pounds protecting your biggest asset (your home) yourself and your children.

I'm flabbergasted at how many women fail to take legal moves to protect themselves, their children and their hard won, much needed assets.

Also the quicker the work is done, the quicker he loses his rent free accommodation. Not exactly an incentive to do the work. Is he a builder? What happens if he fucks something up? What happens if he gets injured? He won't be insured. He could sue you.

Is this his only option? He's a grown man who sees an opportunity for free rent for minimal work at best. He's in a dodgy financial situation and is a cocklodger at worst.

My mother moved boyfriend in and sought legal advice on how to prevent him from having any claim on it.

The two things that were mentioned were ensuring he paid documented rent and not letting him do anything that could be deemed to improve the value of the property or contribute to it in any way.

I'm really pleased you've told him no.

Maybe he genuinely thought it was a good idea and would solve a problem for both of you without having considered it but maybe not.

A friend of mine took on a lodger at reduced rent on the proviso that he'd help with renovating the house. Started off well, but he lost interest and kept living there at a reduced rent until she read the riot act.

In your case, he might end up refusing to do the work and refusing to leave. Quite what his claim on your property would be, I have no idea. You'd have to get legal advice on that.

But there's a conflict of interest here. You've made it clear that you don't want to live with him, so he knows the longer he can spin out the work, the longer he can stay.