Ladies help!!!! Man unsure if in wrong.

[Mehman]

Hello, first off sorry if this is in the wrong place but new to the site. Also i know the default is that I should assume im always wrong. Im married and have been for a few years now. Ones of my mates recently asked me to help him pull and be a wing man. Now before I agreed to it I thought I should check the wife was comfortable with this. She said no, fair enough but what's given me pause for thought is that she said I should never have even thought it could be okay. From my perspective I dont see what was wrong with what I've done as I have been open about everything considered her before I made a choice and respected her wishes. Should I not have even considered this?thanks ladies in advance.

Maybe she objects to you calling her 'the wife'?

how old are you, 14?

Oh deary me.

oh dear I read that as if he wanted help with his...erm....intimate positioning.

What would bring a 'wing man' involve?

What the wife is saying to you is that your instant response to your friend should have been "no, I don't think going out on the pull with you would be respectful to the wife". By asking her permission, you've given her the impression it's something you'd like to do.

BTW - the wife? Is she a possession?

You want to go on a lads night out where the express intention is to pull and you're not sure why your wife isn't keen on the idea?

Hey thanks for replying didnt think people would respond so quickly. Wing man is basically talking to women, making conversation with the friend of a lady he is interested in.

Sorry watched forgetting sarah marshall the other day and the guyoff 30 rock always makes me laugh he says it its a bad habit ive picked up lately

Why can’t your friend do online dating? I’m sure ‘the wife’ was exactly right in her response. It’s not 1980

It's not OK for a married man to even consider doing that, ever. It's disrespectful in the extreme to your wife. Note that I said 'your' wife, not 'the' wife.

Carnivalisover

When you phrase it like that it reakly makes me see her point of view, i think me looking at it from a help a friend out clouded her perspective from me. Thank you

Ladies thank you all youve been a great help. Please excuse the bad humour and worse grammer. How do i close the thread?

It’s dick behaviour. You are pretending to chat up a woman so that your mate can get off with her friend. So deceiving and humiliating her.

@Mehman - I like that you posted and that you're able to acknowledge your wife's point of view. You sound well meaning. I think it would be great if you could speak to her about what you've realised, in case she's feeling upset about it. A well-meaning apology can go a long way.

you don't get to "close the thread". It's here so other men can read and realise they made a mistake! Go and be kind to your wife. Get up 15 minutes early and make coffee, open the blinds, feed the kids. Just do something nice and give her a hug and sat, "Sorry, I was being a twat".

Honestly was not planning on doing that, I'd be keeping my ring on and everything no. Leading on intended but as people have right pointed out I'm totally in the wrong here.

Why is the idea of not being able to close the thread reminding me of The Wicker Man film? (Eek!)

Gawd almighty

You see: me talking to the boring mate whilst he cops off with the pretty one. She see: you flirting and leading on women with pretty women whilst she's home with sick in her hair and you never take HER out for cocktails and flirting. And then you'll have a hang over the next day.

Sand

Is there not a resolved option then? I mean I get it should stay up but does it need further comment I get I was in the wrong and why.

Please can you not call us 'ladies'? Just so sleazy.

Yup you and a previous person summarised that well totally wasn't seeing her perspective.