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My ex already has a new girlfriend and she's pregnant after only 3 months

29 replies

charleze2018 · 23/09/2018 15:39

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Today 15:28 charleze2018

So we've been on and off for about 9 years and we have a three-year-old son together he just been released from jail he's been suffering from alcoholism and I have been there for him during the time that we were together. He just spent a year in and got out he was on work release and he actually ended up meeting a younger woman and he eventually got her pregnant and now has moved in with her. The calls have become less and less. To move things right along me and her eventually found out about each other and we had some words she told me she didn't even know about me and didn't even know that we had a child together. He had only told her about his first kids mother she also didn't know that he had a kid with another woman. I am informed her that not only do we have a child together but we were still sexually active and she let me know that he has told her he wanted to marry her and move in together and I was hurt. Well he got out and went to be with her and I haven't heard from him. later I found out that I was also pregnant I haven't even told him not sure if I want to tell him not sure if I want to keep the baby everything is so messy right now. I am more hurt than all we've been through it's was so easy for him to be released and go be with the woman that he barely knows get her pregnant and move in with her. I felt like all we've been through and all I've put up with the cheating the drinking in and out of jail and then me helping him and staying in his corner meant nothing to him for him to just get out and go be with her. I couldn't understand why he would knock her up knowing that we have a three-year-old child you should be here helping me instead of making more children and then he has other kids with other women that he's not helping with either but he did tell her about the first two why would he want to go and make another child and help her with this child and not be there for the ones that he aIready has? I tried to contact him about 5 days ago to find that my number was blocked I couldn't believe it I was devastated I just need to know how to get through this and if anyone has been through this. Did he come around did the new relationship last? I will say that the girls very young she's only 22 we're in on our late 30s and when we did have that brief argument she did let me know that when he was incarcerated she was putting money on his books she was helping him get things fixed on his car she was getting him money and she was planning on giving him her second car which is a newer car and I'm wondering if it's just that he is taking advantage of her but I mean if he is I think that's disgusting also to turn your back on your kids just so you could be with the woman that helps you financially just need advice. Please don't be rude.

OP posts:
brokenharbour · 23/09/2018 15:48

Thank your lucky stars you've got rid of him I would say. He sounds like the last role model you would want for your son. I find your post a bit confusing re how many children he has by how many different women but it's clearly a pattern, don't think he'll stick around to support this lady's child either but that's fortunately not your problem. Hold your head up high and walk away!

SoyDora · 23/09/2018 15:56

He has 3 different children with 3 women (at least 2 of whom he hasn’t told his new gf about) and 2 on the way, is an alcoholic and is in and out of jail?
You’re well rid.

rageymcrageface · 23/09/2018 15:58

How does such a man get one woman, let alone... well I lost count, actually.

You are so well rid. Onwards and upwards, without a doubt.

Apart from getting your child maintenance sorted, never look back!

ChishandFips33 · 23/09/2018 15:59

As much as you love him I think also you and your son are much better without him.

Sounds like with him, you'd be in for a lifetime of this and possibly worse

CaledonianQueen · 23/09/2018 16:04

Charleze, you are in your late 30’s, why on Earth have you stayed with a man who has multiple children to multiple different women, all of which he has nothing to do with? Not to mention the fact that he is a cheating, alcoholic criminal.

You do know that you are worth so much more than you seem to think!? Your beautiful three year old deserves more! Your three year olds siblings deserve more! Stay away from this man, he is a using, lying, cheating scumbag, who has no care for his children, including for your beautiful three year old. If you will not protect yourself please protect them!

This man has not tried to hide who he is, he has clearly cheated on you multiple times, you chose to have a relationship with him, despite knowing he was a terrible Father, a liar, an alcoholic and a cheat.

I personally could never abort my baby, however only you can decide. If you do bring this baby into this world, then you do so knowing that their Father wants nothing to do with them! You have been a single Mother for most of your three year olds life already, so you are more than capable of having and raising your little one if you choose to. But that is your decision.

In your place, I would be asking my GP for counselling. There has to be a reason that you value yourself and your child so little, that you continued a relationship with him. I would look at doing the freedom program, I suspect that you have been in abusive relationships or grew up in a home where domestic abuse was normal. Your bar is set far too low and you need to raise it! You need to know that you and your child/ren deserve so much more from a partner/ Father!

lifebegins50 · 23/09/2018 16:05

The reason why he is doing this is because he is a absolute bastard who uses women and discards them.

You may never understand why he behaves like this but likely to be as a result of his upbringing and inability to form real attachments to anyone. He may be good at the flirting stage but can't make any relationships work. He will end up being a sad old loser, maybe alone as he charm will wear off.

The new girl will learn,hopefully sooner rather than later. I suspect he didn't tell her about you and his child because she may figure out she was only one in a string of women.
She is younger as I guess older women will be less gullible.

Be glad you are away from him.

Zioanna · 23/09/2018 16:19

I’m completely baffled by this. The man is an alcoholic criminal with multiple kids from different relationships. He doesn’t look after his kids and he sleeps around without using protection. What has he possibly got to offer any of you?

SandyY2K · 23/09/2018 18:31

He's hardly a catch or a model father is he.

FuckItPassMeTheWine · 23/09/2018 18:50

I stopped reading after I saw the words jail and alcoholism. This woman has done you a massive favour , you owe her a drink ! I’d concentrate on you and your little one now 💛

TwistedStitch · 23/09/2018 18:56

His other children's mothers probably felt the same about you and wondered why he was creating more kids when he didn't look after the ones he already had.

He's a cheat, an alcoholic, a criminal and a feckless father. You need to make the decision about your pregnancy on the basis that you will be a single parent and can't rely on him. But surely you can see that you are well rid.

Aquamarine1029 · 23/09/2018 19:13

Being rid of him is quite literally the best thing that has ever happened to you.

charleze2018 · 23/09/2018 19:24

He has 4 children with 3 women

OP posts:
charleze2018 · 23/09/2018 19:33

he told her that he is in his other kids lives which is a lie because when we were together I always asked him when he was going to see his kids he never made an effort whats so ever. I'd ask if his kids needed anything and hed say oh she makes x amount of dollars so she doesn't need my help

OP posts:
SoyDora · 23/09/2018 19:34

Nothing you’re writing here is making anyone think ‘wow yes you should definitely try and get him back’.

charleze2018 · 23/09/2018 19:46

Its just not that easy when your pregnant and already share a child. I am emotional and hurt. She told me he asked her to move away with him. Sounds like he really likes her and wants to be with her.

OP posts:
OrianaBanana · 23/09/2018 19:54

He probably does, until he finds the next woman and makes her pregnant too. He sounds like a complete twat and you’re much better off without him.

ChishandFips33 · 23/09/2018 20:09

He appears to be commitment shy so when her baby comes along I would imagine he'll move on to the next great thing

You deserve so much better than this and without him you'll get the chance to achieve that

Zebra31 · 23/09/2018 20:17

You are lucky to be out of this relationship. You should have left him at the point he first went to prison or first cheated on you.

I always asked him when he was going to see his kids he never made an effort whats so ever. I'd ask if his kids needed anything and hed say oh she makes x amount of dollars so she doesn't need my help

Unfortunately you are about to become the mother to the DC he doesn’t see or take emotional/financial responsibility for. The new girlfriend will probably be saying this about you and your DC to him and he will respond in the same way to her he responded to you. Then after you it will be her and so on and so forth.

You need to find the strength to move on from this total loser.

charleze2018 · 23/09/2018 21:24

seems like he tried to hide who he is to her or else you wouldn't have lied about how many kids he has and lied about how many kids Mother's he has

OP posts:
CardinalCat · 23/09/2018 21:32

He is quite the serial sperm donor. He doesn't sound like much of a "father", in any sense of the word, and he certainly isn't a good partner.
Look after yourself and your children- you will be so much better without this jailbird shagger dragging you down. If you continue with the pregnancy then be prepared to do so on your own two feet- even if this spineless mouth -breather comes crawling back, you and your family are better than this and you need to protect them from the chaos that he brings. Do you have family support nearby?

charleze2018 · 23/09/2018 22:18

I do. I just feel like he used our sun to run in and out of my life in the past and I feel like when he gets tired of the new woman so try to use the new baby and our son to continue to do it and I'm just afraid of how I will react to his advances because I'm already afraid of doing it alone I am starting to wonder if I shouldn't have told her things that she didn't know. I think that is really why he got so upset because I showed her things from his record I mean he's been in and out of jail since 2012 he currently has a failure to appear warrant out and i informed her of all the women that he has children withthat she didn't know about. I'm not even sure if he was trying to impress her or what but she's very young and she looks very young she doesn't even look like a woman and I honestly can't see what he was attracted to I mean she's not unattractive she just looks very young like a kid.. Now he's moved on and turned his back on me and his daughter and I'm sure when things go south or she starts to see him for who he truly is he will be running to me or another ex. I just need the strength to leave him alone for good.

OP posts:
charleze2018 · 23/09/2018 22:21

Prior to me finding out about her he had been seeing us both and we didnt know it. All I knew is he didn't want to come home. I could tell there was someone else I just had no proof.

OP posts:
ferando81 · 23/09/2018 22:56

Men like that can sense desperation and have no respect for their partners.They will never change

Zebra31 · 24/09/2018 06:28

I just feel like he used our sun to run in and out of my life in the past

Yes he did use you and your son. Yes he will try coming running back when the new woman kicks him out because he thinks you are easy territory. These sound like facts you need to use to get the strength to move on. Do you have any real life support Op? Also I may have missed something you mention a son and a daughter in your previous post. Do you have two DC with this complete loser?

charleze2018 · 24/09/2018 08:04

I have a son with him and just guessing im pregnant with a girl

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