Employed by husband - anyone?

[TeamSpirit]

Hi. I live in another European country. Because of my mental health (anxiety, ADHD) and physical health (missing 3 "discs" in my lower back) I am in a "programme", in lack of better word, where I only have to work 6 hours, but get payed full time. Normal in my country, and not up to debate. Just for back ground.
I have searched high and low for jobs, but 6 hour jobs is non existent, except for cleaning, which my back cant do.
Anyway, my husband, who works full time (8-4) also has a business at home. We made that together, although he is the one on the papers. we live on a farm, and he is a bee breeder. He suggested to employ me 6 hours a week, to do a specific job. I have done that job a year now, and I absolutely love it. It has giving me so much, mental health wise, to get out of the unemployment office and to feel I have a job. That energy I use on my kids, house work and my mental health. (started a yoga class!!)
Last night, we discussed my working methods. And my husband was not happy. I do my job 2-3 times a week, which is more than sufficiant. He wants me to do it every day. It is not needed, in my opinion, and I use my 6 hours, regardless if I do it every day or not. we make the same money if I do it every day or not.

And he then used the "but I am the boss of you". I KNOW he is, technically, on paper, but the business is called TEAM something and I think it is a total shit thing to say. I explained that he was boss on paper, but I thought we were a team, and I think he was pretty arrogant if he really thought he could be boss, like that.

And now we dont speak. He went to bed (8.30) and got up this morning without a word.

In my job, it really doesnt matter, how many times a week it is done, the hours spent, are the same regardless. I am so hurt that he used the "I am the boss", I really went around here, loving being a team! As said before, I know he is boss, on paper, but no way I want him to be boss, in reality. Which will mean, I will go back to unemployment with all that comes with it. Huge impact on my every day. But I am really hurt, that we are not a team, I am beneath him.

Am I overreacting? Please be gentle, I know I am lucky to even have this job, but I made it WITH him, we made everything together. Only difference is he is on the papers. And I think he is arrogant to say this. What do you think?

i think you just want a 6 hour paid hobby-job that prioritises only you, which you can do whenever you like simply to get the 'compensation' .....you're not actually interested in respecting that it's a business, should be run as such and you need to behave more professionally.
Your whole post screams 'me, me, me, it's all about me, everybody has to make it all about me!'

I don't think he's abusive, i think you are actually being very dictatorial and controlling He can bring monday and Friday, end of story , He can just bring to work. They sell , Why not just put the units there in the morning and see what happends

He is taking a personal risk by having the company in his name....any business failure, debts and all tax liabilities are/will be against his name and he will be held responsible for them.
you don't seem to understand, appreciate or respect this.

you actually sound very arrogant yourself.
The only part he has, is selling my product
Don't forget I have asked for my units to be moved closer to the house ...you're expecting him to take responsibility for that too

He "takes orders" from co workers, just telling me when he comes in, that he needs so and so, tomorrow
so he's taking orders from your CUSTOMERS...
So WHY oh WHY does he has to please co workers YOUR customers are ordering according to their needs and he's prioritising that - which is an essential part of delivering good customer service.
sounds to me like he's trying to be professional...
but you don't care about the customer when I have, i sell. If I don't have, they must wait
so who cares if the customer has to go without or is pissed off - as long as they buy the product in the end?

you say you're meant to be a team but you're not letting him letting him...you're actually saying he's only there to keep the company in his name (so you can get around the system) and to do as he's told.
it's either your way or you'll throw a tantrum

I am thinking of selling it all from home, so he is not involved at all
That's what you should do then....including hiring someone to move your units and to deliver to your customers at his workplace.

out of interest, does he get paid for being the named owner of the company?

Of course it’s her business...the only reason they get a full time wage for 6 hours work is because of her health problems.

If husband pisses her off by waving his big bollocks around and loses her, there’s no way he’ll be able to make the same money out of these units.

“Either I am wrong, and he is not abusive, or he is, and I leave.”

That is a false dichotomy I’m afraid OP. It’s perfectly possible that this is a simple difference in opinion, without abuse being involved. You both simply have a different view of how this work should be carried out and he sounds exasperated so he’s saying if it’s too much of a hassle having constant arguments about it then he’ll pack it in. Well you can’t blame him really.

It must be a very frustrating situation for you, being so isolated and dependent on him for work and thus benefits. If I were you I would be very clear eyed about what the alternative is - it’s always reassuring to know there’s a plan B, just in case you need it. How old are the kids?

You thought he was the figurehead leader of the company, he thought he was the active CEO. I would say the simplest option is to offer your resignation. If you did that what would be the result regarding your social welfare process, and your family life ? The fact you live in Denmark now makes the job centre involvement feel like a much more benevolent set of circumstances, rather than restrictive.

Hi. I am an unemployed sw in Denmark. I have just finished a 6m maternity cover job at the jobcenter. The OP is doing everything above board. You dont just get granted a flexjob with a wave of a magic wand. It is actually a long drawn out, rigourous process. The whole point is to keep people working as much as they can, contributing, even if it is one hour a week. It is not meant to be a supplement to small businesses which is why you cannot work in your own business.

Please dont call it a hobby business. It is deeply insulting and belittling. Yes actually, a flex job is all about the flexjobber. That is the whole point. If a flexjobber has her best working hours at 3am - 6am then thats when they work.

Yes he is abusing you. But im not sure people at the jobcenter will see it that way. Its a bit hit and miss in terms of understanding dv. You could ring lev uden vold for advice. They have a hotline.

It is not meant to be a supplement to small businesses which is why you cannot work in your own business.

This is what I don’t understand why ever not.

Ask the danish government.