Cant call DP by his name!!

[JeremyVile]

Does anyone find it hard to call their DH/DP by their name?
I've been with DP for 6 years but from very early on we have referred to each other by pet names (urgh, hate that expression)not to other people you understand, cos that would just be !
We dont have a problem with it, its just a strange quirk that we share! but it can be embarassing if i slip and call him it in public (its not really a socially acceptable thing to call someone).
What i do find odd is that i almost physically cant call him by his actual name, it feels very wierd when we're in company and i have to say it, its bizarre.

Wow I really thought it was just me that cant physically call their DH by their real name. I usually call him 'darling' when we're at home, and when we're out.. well like JeremyVile said earlier my mind frantically runs through the options but I can never find a satisfactory name! I usually just walk over to him or if thats not possible i pretend to myself that i didnt really need his attention anyway.

He has no problem with using my name and cant really understand why i dont use his.. but i think it might be because when we first met nearly 5 years ago on the internet i called him by his chat username or whatever, then when i started using his real name he said i wasnt pronouncing it right so i got all self-conscious and stopped! Even now when i say his name in conversation, if he's in earshot it feels weird, not as bad as saying it to him but still weird.

Is there any hope for me?? I would like to use his name but i dont think i'm physically capable of it any more! I try my best to hide it from friends and family but i fear its only a matter of time before they find me out at least i know im not the only one.

I'm weird too... I always call dh by his real name

Unless I call him "pet" which is a word I use a lot about everyone

this is fascinating! I didn't realise this 'problem' (for want if a better word!) existed!

Love this thread.

Not same situation as we used to call each other by our names, but since DS (17 months) we are mamma and dadda even in public to each other .

Lately we have been trying to get back to it though. I really like hearing DH say my name, but I admit it feels "unnatural" to me now

Actually.. an aquaintance of mine told us how she & her friends snigger at a couple who call each mum & dad when out & about They laugh themselves but say they don't ever want their children calling hem by their christian names

Just warning you archiesmummy

DH calls me by my first name when I am in trouble. I feel like a five year old when he does it!

I call him by his surname if I want his attention, or "Daddy" if I'm asking him something on dds behalf

Very rarely are we called by our proper names

I read an article once where the journalist had decided that couples that call each other 'mummy' and 'daddy' don't have sex.
I cringe now if dh calls me ' mummy.'

i'd never really thought about it actually and on pondering the subject DP and i don't use each others names when talking to each other much either - DP has just phoned me (missed the train!) and i made a point of using his name in the conversation it didn't sound wierd to me but I just don't do it very much its normally 'babe' or his surname (mind you when i do that all the DC's turn around too! )

how very strange? i'm going to talk to DP about this when he gets home and report back my findings tomorrow!

pmsl @ that cornsilk

cornsilk.. I must keep an ear out in the supermarket

My SiL calls my brother by his surname & the last day we were all there together my mam said "I christened him XXXX when he was born, that's his name, he has it for a reason, use it please!"

I could have cried for her.. but I secretly did hate it when she called him it, it seemed disrespectful somehow, and it is her surname too!

we don't use 'mummy' and 'daddy' by the way so that must mean we still have sex (i'll have to tell DP )

Our surname is a common first name too though, so it wouldn't seem strange, but my maiden name is a strange one to shout across Tesco

sparkles and wine you must be at it all the time!

no energy now i used it all to get the DC's in the first place!

I call my dp by his name - it'd feel odd not to. He's quite happy to be referred to by his surname though (and no, he didn't go to a private school!!) as one of his friends has the same name and they've always called the other by surname.

It's "bitch" isnt it?

Have always called my dh by a shortened version of his name. Now he has decided he wants to be known as the long/formal version and I just can't change over - or remember to refer to him as long name when speaking to others about it.

Oh I agree fireflyfairy2 ,we don't want to call each other mummy and daddy, we just seem to be stuck, and the no sex bit seems to be true too

Before i had DS I always imagined I'd want baby to call me by my christian name, but that now seems really weird.

This is great. I'm not the only one here. I call mine bucket. Sometimes I forget and call fairly loud when we're out in public and separated. I get the strangest looks. If I have to call him by his real name, I have to choke it out, and have a horrible giggle fit. And it isn't even a bad first name.

i want to know what you call him!

another sigh of relief that it's not just me, we dh, he cannot call me by my name. He calls me nothing, he says it is a mark of exquisite intimacy that he doesn't have to articulate a definite name, that I will just know he is addressing me because we are first and foremost in each other's minds and deeds. Well to be fair, I posited those theories rather tearily one night and he grunted in the affirmative so I think that's what he was trying to say.

When I hear him use my name to a third party it still really shocks me.

We are like that too. I have a very silly name for him and he gets pretty annoyed when I use it in front of my teenage cousins, or our respective parents.

I can use it about him ok, just very weird to his face. And I really love it when he calls me by my actual name. Interesting to see it isn't just us.

Phew, I'm glad to read this!!
I knew DP in college, infact we were best mates, and had no problems at all using his name.
Infact, for years after that I had no problem still using his name.
Now we are a couple I just CANNOT say it! We do have a pet name which we call each other, which I am not going to reveal, but it's really stupid so we can only use it at home. I find it very hard to use his name, and if I need him for anything it just does not feel natural to shout his name. So sometimes I said Mr.[last name] in a stupid voice instead.
I'm sure he must have noticed!!
I think I will ask him later when he comes home and see what he says. Oh, he also had a problem using my name at first when we got together, because I had a nickname in college and he just couldn't stop using that. Was weird to hear him use my proper name for a whlie, but now I like it.

Just waiting for cod to come and call you all 'farekaziods'

I call my DH by his name to his face if we are just having a normal conversation ... at times the pet names come into play depending on the situation. But when I email him or speak to him on the phone he is 'babe', 'darling', 'sweetie', 'you git', 'tosser' or 'wanker' ... depending on the mood of the email or call and what I want to convey or ask for ...