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Original poster

I need a way out - snooped through my boyfriends phone

50 replies

XoxoGaza · 17/09/2018 21:05

Met this guy on a dating app a year ago. We just used to message each other regularly and I started liking him. We never met. We fell out and didn't speak for 6 months. Fast foward to this year we finally met in Summer and started a relationship. everything was REALLY going amazingly well, genuinely thought I met my prince charming, till I decided to go through his phone. This guy is the definition of a male wh*re!! The first time I checked it was 2 girls, at this point I told myself it was ok as I did not want yet another failed relationship. Second time I literally went through his phone for hours as he is a very heavy sleeper. Found out he is on atleast 3 dating sites..he messages up to 50+ girls, on Facebook, Instagram, snap and he has another woman who literally has grandkids (she's 40 plus) telling him she miscarried their baby. He is also sleeping with 2 married women. Through messages I know he has slept with atleast 8 plus girls since we have been dating. Literally shocked/blindsided as he pretends to be a good guy and he has been trying to get with me for months..I found out he had 3 main girlfriends at the same time just before we met up. I need a way out without telling him I went through his phone please help - I will also be getting STI check ASAP. I think this guy is a psychopath and need a quick escape...please advise - we live in different cities about 40 minutes from each other so he can get away with a lot

OP posts:
lizzie1970a · 17/09/2018 21:08

Just say you don't want to see him anymore then block him.

sadnessin · 17/09/2018 21:09

Once he's left the next time you message him it has to be

"Hi, I've really enjoyed our time together but I've decided I'm going to give it another go with my ex. Thanks for a great time, all the best for the future :)"

Then block block block and never go back there.

There's NOTHING to be gained by him knowing you snooped or by him knowing you know he's an absolute PIG.

good luck at the STI clinic Sad

EthelThePiratesDaughter · 17/09/2018 21:09

Sorry your boyfriend is an arsehole. Any reason why you can't just block him on all forms of communication and move on? I'm sure he'll get the message.

Failingat40 · 17/09/2018 21:10

Well done for making the discovery of what a man whore he is, yuk!

He's not by chance a Fireman is he?

RubaDubMum89 · 17/09/2018 21:11

Can you not just ghost him? If his things are still in your home when he's not there, put them on a box or bag with his name on and stick them outside. Change the locks if he has a key. Block his number and all his social media. Job done.

Sorry you're going through this OP, what a horrible man, although, in time it'll be a comfort to know you got off relatively unscathed - no financial commitment, kids etc.

Good luck!

HereIgoagainxx · 17/09/2018 21:11

Tell him you met someone else. You don't have to tell him anything, but his ego could do with being deflated.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 17/09/2018 21:12

What sadnessin says.

HereIgoagainxx · 17/09/2018 21:13

Actually, the ex is a better answer. He will know he's been compared and not been chosen!!

category12 · 17/09/2018 21:13

"You're dumped". Block. The end.

Not sure why you need a more complicated way out than that.

Florries · 17/09/2018 21:14

Sounds like he's got enough on his plate with his 50+ other girlfriends and hook ups than to be too bothered about why you've slid off the radar. Don't say anything, just block. He has plenty more fish in his sea to worry too much.

Pressuredrip · 17/09/2018 21:16

Tell him you just don't fancy him anymore. Its the only thing that will put a dent in his massive ego. I'm so sorry for you, but well don't for being strong and thinking of a plan.

Secretsquirrel101 · 17/09/2018 21:16

If you don’t live together, this couldn’t be more straightforward surely? Tell him it’s over, block him, job done.

Original poster
XoxoGaza · 17/09/2018 21:18

Thank you all for responding...I have been cheated on before in the past but never on this level. The amount of girls really shocked me I actually do not know where he finds the time or if he has some kind of sex addiction. @Failingat40 - No he is not a fireman.

OP posts:
Courtney555 · 17/09/2018 21:20

Firstly, sorry to hear you have discovered such infidelity. What an arse.

Second, you met in the summer... June, July? Its only September now. He lives 40 miles away. Its only been a couple of months and he's managed to sleep with 8 other women? You certainly don't owe him any courtesy after the way he's been behaving.

Just tell him it's over, and block. It's as simple as that. Don't hurt over this git.

Original poster
XoxoGaza · 17/09/2018 21:28

I think I just fell head over heels for him and we moved too fast. I've met his daughter/friends etc and spent way too much time with him which made me get too attached - even after all I discovered I just wanted to let him down gently but I think I will just have to block him.

OP posts:
Doingreat · 17/09/2018 21:31

So sorry you're going through this OP. What a pig to put your health at risk. That's unforgivable. Please do as pressuredrip says and tell him that you don't fancy him anymore. His ego needs a good kicking. Maybe for good measure also add that you're thinking of getting back with your ex as another pp said. What an utterlydespicable shit.

dragonflyflew · 17/09/2018 22:05

Wow. He has to be some kind of sex addict.
There's nothing worse than finding out you've been played for a fool but also if he is possibly a 'psycho' or not nice, you gain nothing from telling him what you know.
Just get rid and be happy your instincts led you to snoop.

Lookatyourwatchnow · 17/09/2018 22:12

Dump him in a way that will sent his ego the most. Ghost him if you think that will piss him off more.

Lookatyourwatchnow · 17/09/2018 22:12

*dent, not sent

mooncuplanding · 17/09/2018 22:18

I'd probably be a bit cruel just for fun.....pick a characteristic he has that hes insecure about and tell him thats why you don't want to see him anymore

Big nose?
Small dick?
Smelly breath?
Too short?
Wobbly belly?
Hairy back?

Santaclarita · 17/09/2018 22:41

I would be 'rewriting' his dating pages to include negative traits then changing the passwords. Followed by messages to all of the girls informing them of who else he sleeps with, with screenshots of the messages. Then walking out, messaging him to say I am going back to my ex as he is better in bed and blocking him.

Don't think that's too cruel for a serial cheater. Oh if you change the passwords, change the email addresses too, as then he can't do forgotten password.

MrJollyLivesNextDoor · 17/09/2018 23:26

Tempting though it may sound, don't do what @Santaclarita suggests

He's an arse, you quite rightly trusted your instincts and are getting rid

No need for him to know about the phone snooping, no need to create any drama or fall back for yourself, just end it, block him and move on

Oddcat · 17/09/2018 23:32

Totally missing the point , but how on earth has he got time for all this ?

Angelf1sh · 18/09/2018 06:18

This is really not difficult, just text him that it’s over and you don’t want to see or hear from him again and then block him. You don’t have to give him any explanation.

Santaclarita · 18/09/2018 07:38

Why not? The other women deserve to know what a twat he is. One of them just miscarried his baby, probably thinking that he is only with her. She deserves to know that he is a cheating rat that doesn't care. The two married women deserve whatever happens to them.