I need a way out - snooped through my boyfriends phone

[XoxoGaza]

Met this guy on a dating app a year ago. We just used to message each other regularly and I started liking him. We never met. We fell out and didn't speak for 6 months. Fast foward to this year we finally met in Summer and started a relationship. everything was REALLY going amazingly well, genuinely thought I met my prince charming, till I decided to go through his phone. This guy is the definition of a male wh*re!! The first time I checked it was 2 girls, at this point I told myself it was ok as I did not want yet another failed relationship. Second time I literally went through his phone for hours as he is a very heavy sleeper. Found out he is on atleast 3 dating sites..he messages up to 50+ girls, on Facebook, Instagram, snap and he has another woman who literally has grandkids (she's 40 plus) telling him she miscarried their baby. He is also sleeping with 2 married women. Through messages I know he has slept with atleast 8 plus girls since we have been dating. Literally shocked/blindsided as he pretends to be a good guy and he has been trying to get with me for months..I found out he had 3 main girlfriends at the same time just before we met up. I need a way out without telling him I went through his phone please help - I will also be getting STI check ASAP. I think this guy is a psychopath and need a quick escape...please advise - we live in different cities about 40 minutes from each other so he can get away with a lot

I agree that the other women should be told because this man could be putting their sexual health at risk. I'm sure most people would want to be told. Op if there is a way to let these women know with a few details added as evidence, maybe you could let the other women know with a quick message. What they do with the information is upto them. After that block him and cut him out of your life.

Just dump him and block. He clearly sees women as just commodities so if he's even bothered it will be down to his bruised ego not losing you.

I personally wouldn't contact any of the other women
You could be inviting a world of shit to your doorstep

Just dump, block, move on and be happy

Sorry to hear this but glad you found out early!!

Just out of curiosity what made you check his phone?

He's not by chance a Fireman is he

Why would you ask that

This one is easy.
'This is not working for me so I'm ending it'
Job done!

@banygoose48 I checked his phone the first time because he fell asleep watching something and I was curious as his phone always has so many incoming notifications. Second time was like a month later and I went through it for about an hour went through his pictures he had loads of pics nude pictures from girls, text messages where he was still contacting his exes telling them he misses them, he deletes most of his Whatsapp messages (suprise surprise) but this is where I found out about the girl who miscarried & he told her it 'was a good thing' as he did not want any more kids. Then his dating sites. This guy is 28 but literally goes for any woman he can get - saw messages from the two married women one of them telling him to come over after her husband had gone to work.
The whole thing is just so sickening & low. I don't know if I will ever trust any man again.

That fireman comment is odd 🤨

Just end it with him - you don’t have to give a reason

@Oddcat - he must have a timetable with columns and everything!

Psychopath is a bit far. And I wouldn’t say he is a whore either. You wouldn’t say the same about a woman with lots of partners.

Sounds like he is just playing the field. Yes he shouldn’t lie but sounds like he’s just having a bit of fun while he can.

He must be exhausted both mentally and physically.

@zippey He can have as much fun as he likes but he needs to be honest about it and consider other people's feelings. Also he is not using protection which is risking my sexual health and others

Sociopath was maybe a better word. Amyone who can lie to that extent and not see anything wrong and not care about how their actions will affect others is mot a good person

just say this isnt working for me anymore, i wish you well but I am not interested in staying in contact. Bye

Tell him you only want safe sex, condoms from now on, he'll drop you instanter.

I don't understand.

Surely if you use dating apps the temptation is always going to be there?

In this day and age why do you even expect old fashioned monogamy?!

Is there an app for being woo'd slowly and exclusively then?

What is wrong with this junk food mentality? Pile them high and get through the lot.

Applies to both men and women where sex partners are as disposable as a takeaway wrapper.

Can't understand the fake outrage/ morality on MN.

You say he isn’t using protection, what about you? You can choose not to have sex if he doesn’t want to use protection.

Not sure why you need an excuse to get out of this relationship though.

After what he has done you owe him nothing and certainly not breaking up with him nicely.

He's pathetic and a liar. If he does not care about cheating on you then he really will not care about you breaking up with him.

Just message him saying the relationship is not working for you.. dont even apologise.

Why do you care if he knows you checked his phone? I would actually arrange to meet him and say "You're dumped because you're a filthy, lying skank". Just to see his face.

Sounds like my dear ExH, didn’t matter who he slept with so long as it wasn’t me! Very peculiar, definitely a sociopath and severe self esteem issues!

Just block. Though I would be tempted to be petty and drag him on something he’s insecure about but that’s just me.

UPDATE
So after much thought I decided to confront the guy regarding going through his phone. In true sociopath fashion he started 'crying' and manipulating me. When I asked about all the girls he basically admited that he was using the girlls to try get money from them etc. This would explain all the personal information I found like people's passports and bank cards in his phone. I also found out that he ordered a credit card using his ex girlfriend who no longer lives in the country's information. Well I got rid of him and thankfully I got the all clear from the GUM clinic but I just want to warn all ladies out there to be careful especially when meeting men online.

bit harsh avenellroad

stupid would be staying with him, she didn’t, she dumped him and is getting tested.

Great update- well done op, ignore stupid comment from person who didn't read thread