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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Does Bragging put you off?

39 replies

summersun0191 · 14/09/2018 09:40

Hi All, so I've recently met a guy on line, we've been chatting for a few weeks now and met up for a soft drink the other night. He seems really nice but I'm put off by the bragging. He initially wanted to meet in a pub for drinks, I told him I'd prefer a coffee as I didn't know him and he went on about me having a crap past meeting men on the dating site, I told him that he was the first I'd arranged to meet so not to presume, I just wanted to be safe and public transport to my village isn't great so I'd prefer to drive. He found this weird but then told me he doesn't actually drink anyway so that was fine. We met, I had a cola, he had 3 gins so the not drinking thing is working well for him!
He then spent the night bragging about his past, how much land he has, the horses he has are thoroughbred and he goes out for food in the "post restaurants" most evenings. I basically said good for you but as a single parent with a full time job and responsibilities I've had to work damn hard to get where I am and I do struggle at times. He didn't stop, he started on about my job, my interests as though he is knowledgeable in all of them, he wasn't but tried to teach me to suck eggs anyway.

I'm not sure if I should go on another date with him, maybe for a coffee and wander somewhere rather than in a pub and see if he's any different or just cut my losses and move on.
Sorry for the long winded message.

OP posts:
DownTownAbbey · 14/09/2018 09:42

Is he a bragger or a liar? He lied about not drinking.

WasFatNowThin · 14/09/2018 09:44

I wouldn't trust him.

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 14/09/2018 09:44

No, step away from the mansplainer.

AnnieAnoniMoose · 14/09/2018 09:46

He sounds like an insufferable bore.

What is it, exactly, that you like about him?

Oddcat · 14/09/2018 09:46

He sounds awful , one of those 'likes the sound of his own voice' types.

Spam88 · 14/09/2018 09:47

From what you've said, I can't imagine why you'd want to waste any more of your time seeing him again. He sounds dreadful.

summersun0191 · 14/09/2018 09:49

I did wonder if he was lying about most of what he was saying to be honest.

Thanks for the advice guys, I will tell him I don't think it will work as I have too many commitments that are a higher priority than a relationship.

OP posts:
MinorRSole · 14/09/2018 09:49

You expressed a preference for coffee and he started ranting about your supposed past experiences because he wasn't getting his own way

I wouldn't have gone on a first date!

choccywokkydoodah · 14/09/2018 09:50

i wouldn't op he is a liar.

summersun0191 · 14/09/2018 09:50

Yeah He did seem to talk a lot and never asked a thing about me, bearing in mind I drove to his area to see him rather than meeting half way too, I did make a comment about diesel not been as cheap as it used to be and he said he never had that problem as his car is eco friendly, yeah mine is too but it still needs fuel.

OP posts:
Khaleesi78 · 14/09/2018 09:52

Sod that. I wouldn't meet him again!

ScabbyBabby · 14/09/2018 09:52

I wouldn't waste time on him, he sounds completely wrapped up in himself to the point he has zero sensitivity to your situation- even though you pointed it out to him. He sounds emotionally immature. He has lied already and brags, I'd politely say you didn't feel any chemistry, wish him well then block.

WizardOfToss · 14/09/2018 09:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ScabbyBabby · 14/09/2018 09:53

And to answer your question, yes, bragging totally puts me off.

Bragging is normal when you're 5 years old.

summersun0191 · 14/09/2018 09:54

MinoRSole - Yeah I see that now, I never thought if it before you put it like that. See I needed a fresh pair of eyes so to speak :)

OP posts:
Aussiebean · 14/09/2018 09:54

God I wouldn’t have met up with him just based on him going off about your past experiences. How presumptuous and arrogant.

Although I have met a few guys who kept complaining about how I shouldn’t ‘paint them with the same brush’ or ‘nice guys are always last’

Turns out they aren’t nice and are a colour of their own.

LoveAGoodChat · 14/09/2018 10:09

From your description I would move on and find another person to date,

You hadn't even met him and he was already telling you have a crap past meeting men on the site (even though he is the first)

You wanted to meet somewhere where you could have a coffee and where it was safe and where you could know you had a way to get home as public transport isn't great to your village, his reaction wasnt to make you feel comfortable for your first date with him, his reaction was to think it's weird,

He told you he didn't drink, he had three gins, (that's alot for a non drinker) so you know he is a liar too

He spent the night bragging and boasting, but did he have any proof that he owns all that he says he owns?

He tried to tell you about your job and interests as though he knows better than you..

If this is how the first date is, can you imagine what a relationship with him would be like...I would move on and find someone decent,

MinorRSole · 14/09/2018 10:09

@summersun0191 Mumsnet is perfect for that - wish it'd been invented when I first start dating although I'm so old we didn't even have the internet back thenGrin

Bluntness100 · 14/09/2018 10:14

He could have been nervous and trying to impress you. Hence the gins, talking too much and bragging.

Do you find him attractive? If so, maybe give it one more shot. If he's the same, bin him off. Some folks don't do too well with nerves and can come across badly,

DarklyDreamingDexter · 14/09/2018 10:26

He sounds like a fucking idiot on many levels! You can do better than that! Chuck this frog back in the lily pond!

Reaa · 14/09/2018 10:43

He could have been nervous and trying to impress you. Hence the gins, talking too much and bragging

I was thinking the same

I may give him a second chance but that would depend on what the conversation is like between now and the next meet up.

Witzend89 · 14/09/2018 11:01

He sounds like a tw*t. Move onSmile

Oddcat · 14/09/2018 11:24

Do you find him attractive?

He could be an absolute Adonis but that doesn't really cut it if his behaviour doesn't match.

Bluntness100 · 14/09/2018 11:42

I'm not sure, as said, some people don't handle first dates well. Nerves and trying to impress can make us come across badly. And go home and cringe,

Only the op knows if she thinks that was the case, or if this is what the guy is really like.

summersun0191 · 14/09/2018 13:02

Thanks guys, I think I'm going to leave it and move on based on everyones opinion. Hes not drop dead gorgeous and does seem to want to impress me but he failed.

He messaged me earlier while I was in a meeting, I replied to him saying I'd just come out of a meeting and he had a full on rant about them been boring and how he hates them and he bet I'd fallen asleep in it etc etc, I was quite off with him in my reply saying he was completely wrong, stop judging me etc and he replied saying he'd leave me in peace, not sure if that is until I finish work or forever

OP posts: