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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Does Bragging put you off?

39 replies

summersun0191 · 14/09/2018 09:40

Hi All, so I've recently met a guy on line, we've been chatting for a few weeks now and met up for a soft drink the other night. He seems really nice but I'm put off by the bragging. He initially wanted to meet in a pub for drinks, I told him I'd prefer a coffee as I didn't know him and he went on about me having a crap past meeting men on the dating site, I told him that he was the first I'd arranged to meet so not to presume, I just wanted to be safe and public transport to my village isn't great so I'd prefer to drive. He found this weird but then told me he doesn't actually drink anyway so that was fine. We met, I had a cola, he had 3 gins so the not drinking thing is working well for him!
He then spent the night bragging about his past, how much land he has, the horses he has are thoroughbred and he goes out for food in the "post restaurants" most evenings. I basically said good for you but as a single parent with a full time job and responsibilities I've had to work damn hard to get where I am and I do struggle at times. He didn't stop, he started on about my job, my interests as though he is knowledgeable in all of them, he wasn't but tried to teach me to suck eggs anyway.

I'm not sure if I should go on another date with him, maybe for a coffee and wander somewhere rather than in a pub and see if he's any different or just cut my losses and move on.
Sorry for the long winded message.

OP posts:
summersun0191 · 14/09/2018 13:04

Also, I don't think he was drinking for his nerves, he seemed to know a lot about the make of gin, was quite rude to the bar man when he couldn't find the bottle he was asking for and seemed to be showing off more than anything. I think I'm well out of there.

OP posts:
dirtybadger · 14/09/2018 13:04

He sounds like a wanker.

Next!

Bluntness100 · 14/09/2018 13:53

Yeah, that sounds like an inherent wanker to be fair.

Honeyroar · 14/09/2018 13:56

You really don't sound like you enjoyed his company or like him at all. So base your decision on your own opinion - it was right... Next!

Ohyesiam · 14/09/2018 15:19

Why are you not sure? What about that encounter would make it redeemable? You are beyond tolerant to consider it.
He also sounds more of a liar than a bragger, and phenomenally unaware.

NotTheFordType · 14/09/2018 15:29

I will tell him I don't think it will work as I have too many commitments that are a higher priority than a relationship

Making excuses to not enter a relationship is the first step on the road to long-term harassment (see The Gift of Fear by Gavin deBoeker.)

Just say "I don't feel we are suited. Best of luck." and leave it at that.

Then block the annoying, arrogant twatbadger!

Thingsdogetbetter · 14/09/2018 15:34

I'd go on a second date so I could keep a tally of the lies, boasts and mansplaining. Kinda like a social experiment to see which one comes out top. Lol.

He's a grade a knob!

summersun0191 · 14/09/2018 15:50

twatbadger is my new favourite put down :(

Thank you everyone.

OP posts:
Chrysalis7 · 14/09/2018 16:02

Bragging is such a vile trait in a man.

We had a tradesman come to our house the other week to do a certain job in our house, and he spend the ENTIRE hour he was there, bragging about his new house he and his girlfriend are having built, his new merc, his inheritance of the low six figures (think £300K he said!) the 3 homes he rents out, his trip to New Zealand and the far east he has coming up (for which he is taking unpaid leave of 6 weeks which he can afford obviously!) and his boat he keeps in the harbour an hour's drive away.

Utterly boring and annoying and I did think 'if you are THAT RICH, then why are you doing this job?'

Also, when I was a young adult single, living in London, I was getting the train back from home (where I had been visiting for the weekend for my dad's birthday,) and a man came and sat by me, 24-ish, very good looking, smelt nice, and seemed quite appealing.

He said he was a submariner, and proceeded to yabber on about himself and his mates and his flash Porsche and his £300K London apartment (this was the late 1980's so the equivalent of that is about a million now!) and all the countries he has been to.

At no point did he ask a THING about me in the half hour he was gasbagging. Not my name, or where I was from, or what I did for a job, or if I was at uni - nothing!

So after about three quarters of an hour (that felt more like half a day coz I was so bored!) I said 'I need the loo' and grabbed my backpack, and fucked off to another carriage, waaaaay down the train.

He clearly wanted to impress me, and it was probably some kind of 'flirting' (in his mind!) But fuck me, he was SOOOOOOOOOOOO boring.

Oh and the answer to the question is I am NOT impressed by men bragging. (or women for that matter!) It's obnoxious and it bores me.

Pretty sure most women will say the same.

sexnotgender · 14/09/2018 16:08

He sounds incredibly tedious! I’d definitely not go on a second date.

FinallyHere · 14/09/2018 16:13

did seem to talk a lot and never asked a thing about me,

Thank goodness for MN to break through the maybe he is lovely but just a touch nervous barrie4 and help people see how tedious people who are entirely self obsessed can be.

Oh, and spot the smooth talking potential abusers, too. Good weekend everyone.

BeautyGoesToBenidorm · 14/09/2018 16:14

He sounds like a ghastly wanker. I had an ex who bragged in a similar manner, it was utterly tedious. Plus he was the king of mansplainers, which wasn't helped by his parents' doe-eyed adoration. They seemed to think he was the Second Coming.

That particular excuse of a relationship came to an end when I corrected his spelling Grin

Sj325 · 14/09/2018 16:27

Do you know if there’s any truth in what he’s bragging about? Could be early warning signs of a sociopath

MrsRolandRat · 14/09/2018 19:10

Oh my days he sounds like an absolute douche canoe!

I think I'd be half tempted to go on a second date just to see what other bullshit he came conjure up! Purely for entertainment factor.

A quick "nice to have met you but I don't think we would be suited, all the best" is more than kind in the situation.

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