DP TOO TIRED FOR SEX

[kel4mum]

My dp is working so hard at the moment that when he comes to see me he is too tired for sex. We have only been together for 9 months and i have tried to be understanding. My sister has recommended using a vibrator while my dp sorts things out at work.(he's trying to lighten his work load) I dont want to offend him but i have a high sex drive and its causing me to be irritable. I want to know what you think i should?

Please can someone give me some advise on what to do?

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how often do you see him? i'm in a similiar situation.would like more as i'm sex mad but i know he's working hard so i can't complain too much.makes it better when i see him tho cos i can't get enough!! lol

Dior My sister suggested a rabbit, but im not sure weather they are really that good. I dont want to upset him or make him feel that he is no good

Taylorsmummy I only see him 2 or 3 nights a week. I saw him last night. He finished work at 9pm and when he came in he was exhusted. I tried to use my womanly persuasion but he just wanted sleep.

kel4mum, not much to suggest except try and sort this issue one way or another as quickly as possible. Otherwise you'll soon find yourself having sex twice a year and wondering where the last decade has gone . I watch this thread with interest....

Get this, when i tried to talk to him about it he told me that we can discuss it when he is not tired !!!!

Can you tell him you will get a rabbit in the mean time whilst you wait for and answer!!!

when last did you have sex? tbh only having been together for 9 months and already being too tired would bother me somewhat and i don't have a high sex drive.

Done that one jenwa, he laughed. He knows that its bothering me cos to be honest that is all i moan about in our relationship. SEX, not enough of it, not adventurous enough etc Do you think that all my moaning has caused this?

Last had sex, hmm, 2 weeks ago there abouts.

My suggestion? Give yourself a date!
Im not a nutter, honest
Myself and my DP went through a very similar patch, and i also have a high sex drive.
I spent 6 months driving myself and DP insane because i felt if i erm... solved my frustration myself, i would be somehow dishonouring him.
Aaaanyway, enough about me..
I suggest that you run yourself a nice bath or curl up infront of a film, or maybe with a good book and a glass of wine.. what ever it is that takes your fancy, and see if you need a rabbit after all.. Although i am told the rabbits are good, but not everyones cup of tea.
Then wait and see what DP thinks the next time you see him, and tell him, in your prettiest/laciest undies exacty what it was you did?
Just an Idea.. No matter what you do, i hope things get back on track with your DP and his workload soon. Good Luck

Its hard to say if he is backing off because of what you want. Usually men are the opposite but maybe he feels under pressure to perform or maybe he is genuinely tired.
Ask him if you have made him feel pressurised at all. Would he be honest with you?

Let me explain something, me and dp have history, we used to be teenage sweethearts. We lost contact for ten years and we met up by chance in town 9 months ago, we realised then that we still had feelings for each other. I used to be sex mad then and he knew that so its not as if he went into this relationship blind. He knew what my expectations were in the bedroom dept. Am i being to hard on him?

is he scared of commitment?

not if he knew what your expectations were. Maybe he is just shattered. Are you wearing him out!!!!

?he knew what my expectations were in the bedroom dept?. honestly? It sounds to me as if he is under pressure to perform and that your expectations for him to be ?more adventurous? and to perform more often are putting him off. Relationships are about far more than sex obviously, so I would spend some time getting to know each other all over again. Spend time together just as partners, have nice meals, go for nice walks, pamper him and show him how you feel about him without pouncing and demanding. And the sex will come naturally.

I know that he has never wanted to get married or have kids and hasnt done either of these, but he is very loyal in his relationships. His previous relationship lasted 6years and that was the only one he had after me when we were younger.

Apart from your current problem, that is so sweet! Like a real life fairytale. I hope you live happily ever after

i agree ...its only nine months in..and too tired?..how old is her?

alarm bells ringing...

maybe lay off going on about it to him...act like there is no pressure?..

feel for you kel4..

Host an Anne Summers party so you have a faux reason for buying something fun .
Is he working so hard in order to be what he thinks you and your kids need? He might just need reassurance that you'd rather have the sex than the money? Men get bees in their bonnets about what they think we want but it's not always the right bee.

sorry, x posts
Some good advice from wannabe too... id say do the lot

personally i'm not sure a rabbit will help, other than for the obvious

i would suggest,
try having a bath together
wear a short skirt, nice knickers, drop things on the floor and bend over to pick them up
in this day and age, i am a firm believer in the 'quickie'

i am assuming that as you were a teenage couple, you slept together back then?, could it be he's worried that he'll not live up to the old memories?

Wannabe We have no other problems in our relationship. We already do the things that you have suggested. Sex or love making, is also an important part of a relationship. oh and i never demand.

luckykate We used to bath together but since moving my bath is not big enough. Love the idea about the short skirt thing thanks