How big was the stigma of being the child of unmarried parents in 1949?

[Iltropicana]

Was it still frowned upon then? What would have been the general view at that time?

I can't speak to the UK, but in the US it would have been a very, very big deal in 1949. The general view would have been that some deeply immoral conduct was involved.

I was born in the mid 1940s and the nearest to this happening in my family/neighbourhood was my cousin's girl friend getting pregnant in the late 1950s. They were bundled off to get married at the earliest opportunity with lots of tutting and disapproving comments from parents/grandparents/aunts and uncles.

I doubt it would have been looked upon with anything but disapproval in 1949.

My GM was an unmarried mother, the stigma was huge and she was forced into a marriage with an abusive bully.

It was a very big deal then. That's why most unmarried pregnant girls either got married or had the baby taken away for adoption. It was still like that until the 1970s.

I think it was a big deal then, my maternal grandmother was adopted in the 30's. And that in itself was a massive scandal

Massive I would say and still into the 70s maybe even 80s

Well in 1969 my cousin was engaged to be married, it transpired her husband to be had a love child ... and with that her parents immediately pulled the rug and she was not allowed to marry such a "bounder" poor girl. I was told he "had" to marry the other girl. So it was still a pretty serious offence in rural UK in the 60s and early 70s!

Absolutely awful. My ex's grandmother had a shotgun wedding but remained happily married and went on to have more kids but was still too embarrassed to talk about it to me in her 70s (even though at the time I was an unwed mother myself)

Funny how nobody bats an eyelid about it now . I wonder why?

Extremely frown on! To put it mildly. Single mothers could still be sectioned in Ireland up to the 60s, I believe, as a woman wanting to have sex outside marraige was considered a mental illness. Not much better in the UK. It wasn't til the 80s that 'living in sin' became almost acceptable. But the 50s was extremely unaccepting of single mothers. If your family didn't fully support you, then you were fucked basically. Women were forced, by their families, to give bastards up for adoption. Pregnant women would be sent away before the neighbours could tell they were pregnant and babies given up for adoption and the woman would return 'untainted '.

You were tainted goods if people know and unlikely to find a man that would marry and support you. It was still traditional families where the man made the money and the wife stayed home. Work would have been difficult to find and there was no childcare if your family won't do it.

Lots and lots of information on the hell of being an unmarried parent after 2nd world war online.

I think a lot of babies were raised by the grandparents posing as the child's parents.

Have a watch of Long Lost Families. Most of the stories on there are from that era

What about marrying a bastard in those times? I guess that was frowned upon too?

Huge. An aunt of mine was a teacher, unmarried and pregnant. She would have lost her job if anyone found out, so she went to another country to give birth, and her ‘niece’ visited her one or twice a year. Daughter was only acknowledged long after aunt retired and daughter in her 60s. This was in UK

Yeap. Still tainted goods. The partner's family would have to be very open-minded and supportive. And then there'd still be lots of whispering from extended family and neighbours. Digs from workmates etc.

Why the questions?

Even up until the early 80s it would have still been a big issue, although attitudes were starting to change a bit by then.

My DH aunt had a child out of wedlock. She was the eldest in a family of 11. She was sent away to nurses college and the baby raised as the youngest child by her parents. She went on to marry the same man and have another child with him but no one knew until about ten years ago when her husband died.

This was rural Ireland in the late 50s so I imagine it was even more shameful in the 40s.

Definitely. Girls often went to mum and baby homes or to stay with a relative 'in the country' to keep it all hush hush. Baby adopted.

If a girl's parents were prepared to front it out and support their daughter and grandchild, it was manageable but people were generally horrible. Sniffy about it even towards the poor kid! Being an illegitimate child was a stigma despite it not being their fault.

Of course blokes got away with it. Women being left holding the baby.

Some did marry though as soon as pregnancy was confirmed and family tried to pretend the baby came early.

Marrying a bastard would've been very much a case of "You've made your bed..."

Basically you were screwed (sorry for the pun) either way - if you didn't marry the guy you were called a slut. If you did, you took a massive gamble.

Otoh there would have been a lot of widows around in 1949, so single mothers might be able to fly under the radar. And yes, a lot of babies were raised by grandmothers posing as mothers, or in one case in my family, by the father’s wife .

Our cleaner had a baby in the 1970s to her now husband, but they weren’t married at that point. The other women on the ward shunned her and the midwives treated her awfully. This was a very large maternity hospital serving a deprived area of the city.

I have an uncle who is actually a cousin but brought up my grandparents. last year found out I had a new cousin who had been given up for adoption and searched for her mother ( my auntie).

Very very frowned upon! And a lot of people disowned by families.

Families were more traditional back then. The man worked, the woman stayed and raised the children. To ensure protection in their situation and a stable home for the offspring, the women married. It's not right for all circumstances, and divorce was a stigma too, but it would stop the endless 'common law' misconception. You were married and that was that.

Yes as a previous poster said, my gm once told me that women getting pregnant outside marriage should be put in a 'mental home'
Awful woman, she is.

I myself had an elderly neighbour refuse to speak to me as I was pregnant and single.

I was 36 and it was two years ago!

I think immediately after the war, when society was experiencing upheaval and rapid changes, it would have been easy to pass yourself off as a war widow, if for example you moved to a new area
.
But once things had stabilised, society didn't accept illegitimate children at all. In the late 60s and early 70s unmarried pregnant women were still often sent away to have their baby secretly and for it to be adopted, or for the lucky few for baby to be brought up by the grandparents.

Other than care from family members, there was little childcare available, and there were no government schemes to help with costs. So it was difficult to work to support yourself and a baby.