Having a bit of a problem in my relationship at the moment.
I have been with my partner for 4 years, and have a daughter from a past relationship. We have recently moved in together (he has lived with us before in our old home but this time we have moved to share the bills etc).
He works late most nights, and whenever my daughter is here (shes shared care with her dad so stays out some nights during the week) she will ask every night whether she will get to see my partner before she goes to bed. Last night it was the same story and he was due home half an hour before her bedtime.
He came home at 7, said a quick hello then went upstairs. He was gone until around 7.30 (her bedtime). I took her upstairs to get her to bed and found him laid in bed, undressed, playing on his phone.
This has happened about three times now since we moved in two months ago its like he will deliberately wait until she has gone to bed then he will come downstairs and put his tv on! It has started to really irritate me as I find it rude and lazy, but last night it did more than anger me but upset me, as we were walking up the stairs and my daughter said to me
"Why doesn't he want to spend time with us?"
I was furious, I took her to bed and apologised on his behalf and just said hes tired from work.
He came down about 5 minutes after I took her down and asked me what was wrong. I asked him the same and told him how unfair and rude it was and that it was becoming a regular occurrence. He had a go at me and said he'd had a bad day and all he wanted to do was spend some time on his own. I left him to calm down, then approached him later and asked what had happened at work. He made a scene and said that he 'didn't want to talk about it' like he'd had some kind of dramatic day and had a go at me for pestering.
As it turns out, it was just a regular day for him (he always has a bad day at work), he came and apologised an hour later.
Have I every right to be angry and confront him about this? My main issue wasn't him going to bed when he got in, it was because his behaviour is starting to impact her. He is never off work at the weekends so he doesn’t get that time with us, and barely sees her enough as it is.
Also, my partner has a tendency to display passive aggressive behaviours, so I really feel like he was trying to play the victim here (if he had had a genuinely bad day I would have left him to it), but these sort of tactics and finding excuse for his actions is a frequent thing.