Am i supposed to enjoy sex?...

[AtLiberty]

I dont! and it slowly destroying our relationship

No girls do nothing for me so i know its not that! as for anything else, well i dont know, maybe i will have to go and think about it...

It wouldn't be odd for someone who thought sex was, essentially, something forbidden and dirty, to have fantasies in which she was forced/obliged/etc into enjoying herself. In case you were wondering. (And, of course, fantasies of this sort, much like people playing at these sorts of things, are just not the same at all as actual force etc.)

attila, great posts.

Rule out physical causes and then try going down counselling route.

You do deserve a great sex life.

Atliberty i haven't read all the post so sorry if this has been said already, i don't know how old you are but it sounds as if you are stuck with some childhood/early teenage inhibitions you shouldn't feel embarassed at all sex is natural and can be loads of fun.

When you first had sex or in an early sexual relationship did a partner ever make you feel silly or make fun of you?

what type of men are you attracted to?
tall? short? slim? heavy build? muscular? dark or blonde?
does your man do it for you, or is he just the wrong type?

do you enjoy other sensual experiences, such as food? are you a good cook? do you enjoy touching or flirting?

You are not alone.
I also hate sex. I last had sex when my 3rd child was conceived-he is now 18months old. Before that was when my 2nd child was conceived-he is now 30 months old. My 1st child was conceived as a result of 4 IVF treatments and that was infinitely preferable to actual sex.
I have NEVER had an orgasm, but am an expert faker.
My ex husband couldn't cope and left-now divorced(altho there were abuse issues also)
My current partner(father to dc2+3) works away all week, and we sleep in seperate beds.
I have just had major gynae surgery to correct the damage caused thru childburth. Do you have any children?
My partner has never voiced his need for sex.
If there were tabs I could buy to improve my libido, I would give them a shot, i think, but otherwise, I'm just not arsed!!
Good luck.

Would definitely push for counselling via GP - sounds like it's been too long to sort itself out by itself. It does sound moer psychological to me. And talk to your DP, if you ever want to sort it out you must involve him too or he'll never learn.
Also getting drunk and having a go once or twice a year isn't exactly every time he wants to get his leg over - worth it just to see what happens. Buy some KY Jelly, tell him you need at least 10mins cunnilingus (in the dark), drink lots and try to let go completely. Don't worry about trying to please him, he will be so chuffed to be invited!
How good are you at relaxing in general? A yoga class might help teach you to let go on demand and also get more comfortable with your body.

definitely feel more up for after a few drinks, or a lot of drinks, reduces the inhibitions.
I don't want to have sex but thats because im so angry with dh. So your situation is more hopeful probably. Sex therapy supposed to be very good these days and pretty normal.

could he give you a massage and you give him a hand job in return. would that be a start. Sex can be very painful if you are dry, which is because you are not turned on. So use a lubricant until you are sufficiantly moist by yourself.

You probably need to work on foreplay until you are ready to have sex. Then you won't feel so scared its always leading to sex.

can you give him a blow job to keep him happy?