I need to write this down to try and make sense of how I'm feeling and to ask advice.
I've been with my partner for over 2 years and on the whole I am very happy. I was in a series of awful relationships beforehand, one lasting 15 years (with father of my children) and a few short term disappointing relationships that led me to do the freedom program.
When I met my current partner, it was so refreshing to be myself and be accepted for me. We have fun, he is kind and respectful and I do love him.
However, he has never been an overly romantic partner and there is no passion. He always tells me he loves me, his actions reflect his words and I do feel loved by him, but the lack of passion leaves me feeling somewhat like an extremely close flatmate!
The first few months of dating, I guess there was more passion, but we were still getting to know each other and making more of an effort. But still- it was far different to what I'd experienced before. I put it down to shyness.
We don't live together yet, we both have full custody of our own children, so for practical reasons we are waiting until they are a little older. We see each other every weekend alternating houses, go on family holidays and mini breaks and are in contact daily. But the fact we do not live together means I'd expect a lot more desire when we see each other from his point of view. Not necessarily tearing each other's clothes off (no chance of that with kids around!) but more than a hug and peck on lips! Even when we watch tv, we are at opposite end of the sofa!!
He's never been a kisser. A short lip kiss but not much more. I found it strange at first but sort of accepted it. But now it's bothering me. Sex is sex- not intimate. No kissing, no foreplay - just get into bed and know what's going to happen.
Yet he always cuddles me after, tells me he loves me and that I am the most amazing partner ever.
He talks about our future, does what he says he will do, is always an amazing support in every situation, is a fantastic role model for my children and puts them first (he has encouraged and paid for certain hobbies to enhance their lives which has had a positive influence on them), my family adore him etc.
My point I guess is that in every other way he is perfect. I would be mad to end it over lack of intimacy. But I'm scared in a few years time I will resent it more.
I've brought this up with him and he was shocked and looked a little hurt. He said he didn't realise and has taken it on board, but things only change for a bit and not by a great deal tbh before old habits form again.
He is younger than me, a little shy in comparison to me and not had many girlfriends before me (although two have been long term) I don't know if this is part of it?
My previous relationships were passionate but I was treated appallingly. My current partner and I have never argue and it is so refreshing but I'm starting to feel a little alone in my relationship and it's making me feel insecure.
Anyone been in my situation. Am I being unreasonable or should I just suck it up.