Do you think you are a good person?

[whatsontheinside]

I frequently think I'm too bitchy, too judgemental, too gossipy, too moody, and tell myself I'm going to make more effort to be a truly decent, kind, thoughtful person. I try really hard to bring my DC up to be the person I want to be, but often fail at being. I have something playing on my mind which has me tied up in who i really am/want to be.

I'm just curious if people here think of themselves as truly good people and why, (I know no one is flawless 100% of the time, but fundamentally speaking), whether anyone really dislikes themselves as a person and why, and what people would change about themselves, if anything.

Weird thread, I know.

I like myself. I’ve got plenty of flaws but they don’t outweigh my better qualities and I’ve come to appreciate my resilience and sense of humour which have got me through some experiences the last few years that could have made me angry, resentful or bitter.

I don’t expect too much from myself. I’ve got better at not giving more than I can if it’s going to make me exhausted or grumpy. That helps.

I'm OK, aim to be a good person but of course I fail at times.
Failed more when young!

Don't gossip or bitch, that's a good start.

I think I’m six of one half a dozen of the other.
I have heard that if you can’t imagine yourself doing something pretty bad then you don’t really know yourself. We all have a side to us we would like to think we don’t. But if you can accept that about yourself and still be good then you’re pretty well rounded.

Dunno about good,but I am nice. I'm too lazy and antisocial not to be. Gossip,bitching,drama etc take too much effort and justification.
As it is most people think I'm friendly but shy. I'm neither.

My flaw is that I find it hard to watch people make mistakes, or not make an effort with something and I interfere. I try to interfere nicely but I am still interfering. It isn’t about wanting control of people, but more situations. Like at work, I get so frustrated by things not being done properly and I know I end up unpopular for trying to sort them out because I think people don’t like having a light shone on their own flaws.

I’ve grown out of a lot of my worst behaviours. I didn’t have good role models or rules to follow and it took me a long time to grow up. I made a lot of mistakes by doing things badly. Unfortunately I had my children young and was immature and my DD1 has picked up some of this behaviour

I don’t think I am a bad person. I do really care about people but I am impatient and constantly want to get to the bigger picture not stuck on small petty crap, which can come across like I don’t care

Well I try for sure but sometimes I let myself down with some of the things you mention. But then we all do.

If your intentions are good then you'll do your best in most situations i think. That's all anyone can do.

It's just being human.

Ecclesiastes 7:20

No.

Why not @Kemer2018?

I used to be a horrible person, but at that time I had issues going on with my parents and family that were unresolved. 6 years ago they were resolved for once and for all and I went NC with most of my family. It was a massive weight off my shoulders and I realised I was horrible as I was angry at myself for not addressing it. I think now I am a nice person and my DH and DC have told me so and I would like to think they are being honest with me. My advice is sort out those things playing on your mind.

No. But I'm not all bad, I think I am a good mother, I'm loyal to a fault with people I care about and I would always stop to help someone who was in trouble.

On the bad side I am suspicious and untrusting and always think the worst, I make snap judgments and never give the benefit of the doubt, trouble is I usually turn out to be right.

I like to think I am. I'm poorly and have had a couple of very close calls with the grim reaper (coma on life support.) I want to know I leave this world with a clear conscience and as an atheist I don't believe I'll get another chance.

I've done plenty of things I'm not proud of but I'm comfortable with who I am and think I'm basically a decent person who sometimes gets things wrong.

I find taking that view helps me to be less judgemental of others mistakes too

I think I could be better. I’m a really good wife I think but I could be a better mum And a better daughter / daughter in law . It’s not that I do anything horrible but I should prob make more time and be more emotional.
I am a good friend but can be quite judgy and critical if I don’t like someone .
I can also get carried away with insecurities both in my marriage and friendships but for the most part manage to keep them in my head until they pass.

I consider myself to be an honest, decent, good person, who is loyal and loving & kind, and I think those who know me would describe me as such. Of course I have my faults as everyone does, but I'm comfortable with who I am on the whole.

Constantly disappointed with myself as too quick to judge, too lazy and too selfish. I try every day to be better. I have v low self esteem but hide it well. Sometimes I really hate myself - those days are hard

I'm fairly happy with myself, but I do think I'm a bit self-absorbed and I'm definitely a bad listener and talk too much. I'm not sure I'm hugely sensitive to others, I'm not good at intuiting anything emotional, I think, it has to be spelled out to me. I make friends with people because I find them fun to hang out with, not because I believe they're the best, kindest most wonderful people who I would confide in and expect to rush around me if I had a problem, I kind of feel I have my family for that.

On the upside I'm loyal, I don't flake out on people, I see the best in everyone ( and TBH my trust has never been betrayed in any meaningful way), I make efforts to keep in touch with people and so on.

I do snap at my children sometimes, but they do seem to love me and feel safe with me nonetheless. I don't think I'm an amazing mum, but I have been lucky to have mild-tempered generally easy-going children, which is nothing to do with my parenting!

I have a couple of things I would like to change about my personality and have tried but failed, sort if made my peace with it now, I am who I am.

Mark 10:18.
Jesus said why do you call me good. No one is good except God.

Dont think its a question of worrying about being good but being a person who tries to do the right thing. Which you say you are trying to do.
Dont worry so much op

I think I am, or try very hard to be, but aspects of it play on my mind.

For example: I had a wonderful upbringing with two loving parents. My cousin married a guy who I admire so much - he's gentle, treats my cousin wonderfully, works hard and is a totally devoted family man. He had the most terrible upbringing, treated like absolute crap by his family. I stress that I'm only 'good' because I was lucky with my childhood, and that if I was in his shoes, I wouldn't be half the person I am.

Also, I sometimes worry that rather than being good for the sake of it, it's the end product of that as a reward that motivates it. I hate the thought that if every good deed I performed was unnoticed, I'd stop bothering to be 'good' - it really plays on my mind.

I'm not the best sleeper, believe it or not...

I think all human beings have the capacity for both good and evil. Look at Nazi Germany; Rwanda; The former Yugoslavia. Perfectly ordinary people will do unspeakable things given very specific circumstances. And we would too in those same circumstances. Or we might be heroes like Schindler. Who knows?

The point is there are no good and bad people. We are all capable of both and we live our lives according to our circumstances. I try to be decent to those around me and I try to do the next right thing. I don't think I'm better or worse than anyone else.

I'm a work in progress. I don't gossip, I don't voice harsh opinions on people, I don't lie, I've never set out to hurt anyone. I try to see all sides, I try to be a good friend to people I care about, I am loyal. But I've done things I'm not proud of.

My bad points, I can seem aloof, stand offish, a snob, intellectually superior, unengaged, disinterested and cool. I'm working on trying to "seem" not to be any of these things. At my core I'm not, but it's something that has been said to me so many times that I can't deny that it's probably the impression I give. I just can't seem to be more friendly. And part of me questions why people might think this, maybe they feel inferior for whatever reason and project that on to me. I certainly don't think I am better than others, but I'm constantly reminded that someone or other thinks I'm some kind of snob. I'm actually quite shy, feel anxious around crowds of new people and lack the ability to make small talk. So I see these relaxed social butterflies I feel, well......quite inferior and rather boring.

Yes - Welll.... I'd say I'm a good person 85% of the time.
Right now I have to be.

I can't keep a secret to save my life. I tell people not to tell me secrets. It just sits at the front of my brain begging to be shared until I've told at least one person. Then the pressure goes away and I can keep stum. Friends know I'll tell dh eventually and he's great at secrets so it doesn't go any future. So if they don't want him to know, they don't tell me. I reiterate this any time i think someone is going to confides in me. I'd like to be trustworthy, and I really try, but it's best not to chance it!

If I'm going to be honest, I think if you asked the people around me whether I'm a good person they would say yes. Because on the surface I am good. I'm aware of my flaws and do my best to hide them! But underneath the surface, I probably am not a good person. I can imitate caring about others but inside I don't really care that much! The only people I really care for are my children. Having said that, I don't dislike myself because of it, nor do I want to change it because life is so much simpler when you're a bit selfish! I know that sounds awful but it's my honest answer.