Do you think you are a good person?

[whatsontheinside]

I frequently think I'm too bitchy, too judgemental, too gossipy, too moody, and tell myself I'm going to make more effort to be a truly decent, kind, thoughtful person. I try really hard to bring my DC up to be the person I want to be, but often fail at being. I have something playing on my mind which has me tied up in who i really am/want to be.

I'm just curious if people here think of themselves as truly good people and why, (I know no one is flawless 100% of the time, but fundamentally speaking), whether anyone really dislikes themselves as a person and why, and what people would change about themselves, if anything.

Weird thread, I know.

No, not really, I'm on my second affair. Otherwise my intentions are good.

"I'd rather be whole than good." - Carl Jung

It's a statement I live by.

Outwardly, I am a nice person. I am polite, I don’t lose my temper. I try to be fair and I don’t criticise unnecessarily. I compliment people generously and offer support when asked. I could be a lot more proactive with my support but I am a very busy person.

But I have judgemental voices in my head. Mostly about people’s appearance. I often wonder if other people generally have the same thoughts or not. For example, when people say things to overweight people like ‘don’t worry about what you look like in your bikini, nobody will be looking at you on the beach anyway’, I think, really? Is it just me that looks around the beach thinking wow she’s got an amazing body, she’s fat, she really shouldn’t be wearing that, etc etc. I think these sorts of thoughts frequently, although would always tell someone they looked just fine if asked.

I think saying, 'i'm good' is very subjective because by what standards are you measuring this? I can say i'm not a horrible person, but cannot say I'm good.

No, I'm not a good person. I'm short tempered and flakey. My husband and teenaged DD are both lovely. Laid back, generous, loyal, helpful, forgiving - and great fun.

But I am honest. A lot of people like my sister think of themselves as good when they are really quite unpleasant underneath.

I think of myself as a good person, because when given a choice I always try to do the right thing. I also have a strong (albeit tailored to my own values) moral compass.

That does not mean I am by any means perfect. However, when I do hurt people it is usually unintentional and I learned to apologize when that happens.

My worst flaws are my rigidity and my judginess.